"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around the 1st or 15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it. Also... something to keep in mind... My language in the email subscription version may offend the meek. Subscribe at your own risk. The on-line version is a bit more... PC..

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment. So it is written.. so let it be done....

Lastly, our e-subscriber newsletter also has all our specials listed.. sales, blems, close-outs, scratch & dent items, etc. If you'd like a list of our current specials, just email me and I'll make it happen.

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: April 2009

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the month.....

Karen: (backing away)...this conversation...this is over.
Michael:  I'm not a guy you kill! I'm the guy you buy! Are you so f#@*ing blind you don't see what I am? I'm the easiest part of your whole problem and you're gonna kill me? Don't you know who I am? I'm a fixer! I'm a bagman! I do everything from shoplifting wives to bent congressmen and you're gonna blow me up? I sold out Arthur for eighty grand, a three-year contract, and a copy of the April Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletter which I later found out was free.... and you're gonna kill me?

Karen: (barely) What do you want?
MichaelWhat do I want? I want more. I want out! And now, with this..(he holds up a copy of the cheesy newsletter)....I want everything.
Karen: Is there a number?
Michael:  Ten is the number.
Karen: Ten what? Ten million? (incredulous) Where do you think I can get ten million dollars?
Michael:  You know what's so great about this? (the newsletter) Did you read to the end? This is serious cheese! Let's go in that ballroom and ask Don Jeffries if he wants to pass the hat for a worthy cause. Karen is reeling. She can hardly breathe.
Karen: This...it would have to be a longer conversation...and someplace else...
Michael: Where? My car? (on her hard now) Let's make it easy. Let's call it five to forget about Arthur's murder.
Five is easier. (hopeful for a moment) That would be something that we might be able to do.

Just walk away!
Michael:  Great. And the other five million is to forget about the four-hundred-and sixty-eight people who got wiped out by your weed killer.
Karen: Let me finish this meeting. Let me talk to Don. Let me...
Michael:  Do I look like I'm negotiating?
Michael Clayton / George Clooney...Karen / Tilda Swinson...  Michael Clayton  2007

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

Picture Of The Month! Norwegian Beauty (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our April POTM was contributed by our Swedish buddy, AndersA.. This spectacular shot of his bueatific 98 RS was taken in Norway in 2007. Damn! Tack så mycket, Anders.

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT and B. In focus.

Click For Larger Image If You Dare..
Click Image for a Larger View

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Big Brother Is Watching: Another Nail In Our Coffin: Part Three

You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into an ominous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. There's a sign-post up ahead - your next stop, George Orwell's worst nightmare. In the last two cheesy newsletters, I've been ranting and raving about what I foresee as the demise of the street motorcyclist's rights. Here's the latest and it ain't pretty.

On March 16th, Madrid is going to introduce a new speed detection system on one of its main highways in and out of the city. It is based on time / distance and covers a 20 km. stretch of 6-lane highway. Cameras and sensors will check license plates upon entry and exit (this is not a toll road, its a regular freeway) and will work out the averages as you exit the road. You speed - they send you a fine to your home. Can you say cachiing? Austria has a similar system in place already and we hear that Norway is not far behind.

Here in the states, Arizona's lawmakers are well underway in implementing a wide-ranging speeding ticket by camera system, despite a huge outcry from the citizenry who elected them. Some states, such as Florida, are installing camera systems under the guise of calculating travel times for display on message boards, but we know better. The issue of speed cameras in CA and Tennessee has also been legislatively proposed, but shot down, for the moment. All this doesn't bode well for us, my fellow shipmates when we have nobody looking out for OUR rights.. And yes.. that was an indirect shot across the bow of the toothless AMA.

I'm no Edgar Cayce, but I foresee a day in the not so distant future when the technology exists that will allow "big brother" to monitor our speeds and location every minute of the day. I hope that day comes when I'm 80 years old and too decrepit to ride, but I fear the day is near.. How did we let this happen?

Governments should be afraid of their people.

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Product Review: Moto Grip Skull Death Grips

A few weeks ago while I came across Moto Grip Skull Death Grips by Moto Grip on Ebay. I had been wanting to replace the stock grips on my Ducati 1098 and these seemed to fit a pirate's manifest nicely. They look cool and are advertised as "gel" grips so in theory they should be a little more comfortable than the crappy card-board feeling stockers. Ordered them and had them in about 8 days.

Install took all of 15 minutes.. 10 of that was getting the Throttlemeister off, back on, and adjusted. Hmm.. Just sitting on the bike..the Skull Grips feel good... They feel real good. A total of 6 hours ride time backed up my initial assumption. Not only do they feel "cushy" when compared to the paper-thin stock grips (or any stock grips I've ever used) but they seem to further dampen what little vibration the 1098 has. Also...due to the protruding skulls on the grip.. your hands have more "traction" in contrast to the smooth surface of factory grips. I had not even considered this but it really makes a huge difference... I LOVE these grips and believe me, I've tried many different brands through the years. I should mention.. IMHO the grips should be about 1/8" longer. They are that much shorter than factory Ducati grips. Not a biggie.

Zero idea how Moto Grip Skull Death Grips would work with heated grips, but I'm sure gonna find out soon as my BMW is in need of grips. Well worth the $17.99 + shipping for any sportbike rider looking to try something new. I would think these would be great on a track bike where throttle control is critical. You can contact Moto Grip at 888.MOTO.GRIP or find them on Ebay. My personal thumbs up.

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Product Comparison: Custom Ear Plugs vs Hearos! Urban Legends Be Gone

As far back as I can remember I've wanted a pair of custom made ear plugs. Many of my riding buds have them and swear by them.. I'm constantly hearing.. "They are so much more comfortable than anything else" and "you can wear them all day in total comfort"  and "they are so much quieter than a foam earplug."  That's all well and fine, but as I'm a cheap bastage and relatively happy with the foam Hearos ear plugs I've been blissfully using for years.. it's been kinda hard to convince myself to lay down $100-$200 for a custom pair when my $2 pair gives me total comfort as well as peace, love, and tranquility inside my helmet.

While I have never listened to music while riding (and never will) I decided after the last Sierra Goldrush Rally that the time had come for me to suck it up and buy some earplugs with speakers for the sole purpose of hearing my GPS. While on the meandering roads of California I got lost multiple times. Think of a two-wheeled Lewis and Clark without Sacagawea. That would be me. Before the rally I bought myself some cheapie $25 in-ear speakers from Radio Shack thinking that's all I'd need, but and they were so noisy that I couldn't hear the GPS voice commands over the wind noise and they kept falling out of my ears. Total crap and a wasted $25... Lesson learned.

I knew that at least 2 earplug vendors would be set up at a recent motorcycle show so I attended, paid the big bucks, and got some made. When I went to the booth I asked all the prerequisite questions already knowing the answers. Sure enough, the reps practiced response.... "They are so much more comfortable than anything else" and "you can wear them all day in total comfort"  and "they are so much quieter than a foam earplug." OK..It must be true. I'm convinced. Take my credit card and do your worst.  Cost for the custom plugs with speakers, a carry case, a cleaning tool, a hand written receipt, and shipping was about $210. The guy took the molds which consisted of squirting globs of blue goo into my ears and waiting about 20 minutes for them to harden. The goo.. not my ears. He promised my custom kit would arrive in about 3 weeks. I had mine in 2. Woohoo!! Today I got to try them. Today I was disappointed.

What's in your wallet?

The first 10 minutes of the first ride .. I wanted my money back. Not only were they NOT as quiet as my Hearos, but they were flat out noisy. It couldn't have been noisier if I had been riding without a helmet.. on Mt Everest. What the f#@*? I stopped and adjusted the fit and that helped a little. Rode another 15 minutes .. still lots of wind noise so I stopped again. This time I spit on them thinking that would make a better seal even though the rep told me that was never necessary. Still noisy, but a little better. I know you are thinking.. "are you sure you had the left in the left ear and the right in the right ear?".. Yes and each plug was locking solidly into place.. They can only go in one way!.. Stopped again and used more spit than you'd need for a successful prison rape and finally got them ALMOST as quiet as my $2 Hearos. Great. I should mention that during this time I had them plugged into my GPS and the sound quality was excellent.

As I fight back tears of disappointment... the news gets worse. Not only were they not as quiet as per the prophesies, but they were nowhere near as comfortable as my Hearos either. When I'm wearing my foam plugs I forget about them after only a few seconds. They are as comfortable as slipping on an old pair of Sperry Top Siders. So comfortable in fact that I sometimes sleep in mine. The ear plugs.. not the shoes.  During my 2 hour initial ride with the custom plugs, I was aware of them every minute. They have a soft gel-like feel to them while in your hands and while inserting them, but once I got them in they just felt like I had hard pieces of plastic in my ears. You may be wondering..." was the inside of the helmet pushing on the plugs causing the discomfort..?" No. That area in my helmet is cut out to allow for a little ear room and speakers. After 1 hour my ears hurt and I was glad to take them out after 2. Not once did I feel they were as quiet or as comfortable as my Hearos.. Not once. For a fair evaluation, the next day I tried the custom plugs in another helmet for another 2 hour ride. Same results.

Ok.. so what to do now that I'm out over $200 and my "world-class sound and/or Walden pond solitude in the helmet" dreams have been shattered against the rocks of reality? Other than whine like a little girl, I thought about asking for my money back, but that wouldn't solve my problem of needing in-ear speakers the 2 freakin' weekends a year that I'm out of state and needing to be wired into my GPS.. Could I just have prima donna ears? Perhaps. Is there a possibility that they screwed up my pair for a bad fit? Well... they do lock into place like they said they would so fit doesn't seem to be an issue. Might I get used to them after a while? Apparently many do, but if they aren't as quiet as my Hearos.. I'm not interested.  I am so disappointed and 100% amazed that other people profess vast superiority over foam plugs. For now.. I'll toss the custom plugs in a drawer to collect dust with my old beeper, 35mm camera, floppy disks, and other obsolete farkels until I absolutely, positively must use them to keep from getting lost again. My next ride I'll be wearing my trusty $2 Hearos...

Follow-Up: I contacted the guy that made my custom plugs before this went to press and told him about my dissatisfaction and resulting erectile dysfunction. He walked me though all the possibilities that could cause the problem. The noisy plugs.. not the erectile dysfunction .. and I shot each one down one by one. Apparently my kit is just fine and I was just expecting too much. Really? I guess for $200+ I should have low expectations? I told him I didn't think it was too much to ask that at the very least they be as quiet and as comfy as my $2 plugs.. I also scolded him for mindlessly telling people how superior his custom plugs are to a top of the line foam earplug when apparently in some cases they clearly aren't. The next words out of his mouth were.. "send them back and I'll give you a full refund." I did.

Postscript: So what is the moral of this cheesy story? Well... every motorcyclist should wear earplugs on every ride. It makes for a more enjoyable ride and more importantly.. it'll protect your fragile hearing. Having lost 40% of my own hearing due in no small part to riding 20 of my 38 years without them,  I speak from painful experience. Lecture over. My point was to clear up the urban myth that custom plugs are far superior to a good pair of foam plugs as they are not. Don't believe me? Go pick up a pair of the latest Hearos and see for yourself. If your goal is to have speakers in your helmet I would agree that custom plugs are the way to go, but in a head-to-head comparison of ear plugs only.. IMHO.. Hearos are quieter, more comfortable, and 50x cheaper than a $100 custom made pair. So it is written..

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Transformation of a Menu: K1200GT to K1300GT

Now that the 2009 K1300GT is showing up in garages all over the US, I'm already getting lots of questions about which K1200GT products on our menu will crossover and fit the K1300GT. Have spent multiple hours over the last few weeks transforming dozens of pages to now reflect our K1200GT / K1300GT Product Line The following parts are just a few examples of what we already have for the new 2009 K1300GT.

* Verholen Bar Risers * ZTechnik Carbon Fiber Tank Protector * Pirates' Lair Custom Torque Arm
* Verholen Hubcaps * TechSpec Gripster Tank Grips * Pit-Bull Motorcycle Stands
* Verholen Peg Lowering Kit * Cee Bailey Headlight Covers * Engage Quick-Lock Tankbag
* R & G Racing Fork Sliders * Stebel Nautilus Compact Air Horn * Easy Helmet Locks
* Brake / Shift Lever Extensions * Oberon Billet Aluminum Gas Cap * ZTechnik Windshields / (2) Versions
Where is the cube?

What's New In the K12 No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and first generation GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. Deals Gap K12 Rally News!! Recently we were shocked to learn of the closing of the Topoco Lodge (near Robbinsville.) For the last nine straight years the I-BMW Deals Gap K12 Rally has been held there. So what to do? Well thanks to the quick action of our bud, Tim (aka..Cbnfvr over at www.I-BMW.com) an alternative motel has been booked. This years Deals Gap K12 rally will be held in Bryson City, NC at the Ridge Top Motel and Campground. This'll be the 10th anniversary of the most sacred K12 gathering and the motel won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!! This'll be the last K12 Rally of 2009, my friends. (see times, dates, pricing, reservation details in rally section below)

Can you see me now?

2. Language that provides a tax deduction for the purchase of a motorcycle has been added to the just-passed economic stimulus bill, the AMA reports. The AMA, working in conjunction with other stakeholders, worked diligently to secure the motorcycle provision within the measure. President Obama is expected to sign the bill into law shortly. "This inclusive and equitable solution will provide much-needed relief to riders, as well as to those who sell motorcycles," said AMA Vice President for Government Relations Ed Moreland. "When it appeared that motorcycles were going to be overlooked in this bill, the AMA and the Association's members, took our case straight to Capitol Hill and persuaded lawmakers that this was the right decision." Could this be the first time that the toothless AMA actually gets something done?? We'll see...

3. Roadrocketeer (the artist formerly known as Gizmo Mill) has been selling Brake LED Kits for the BMW K1200RS for years. IMHO, it is simply the best K1200RS tail light kit on the market. Yes.. a bold statement especially since I have tried just about everything out there, nevertheless.. true. It's been one of our best sellers for years! The ONLY issues we have seen have been on perhaps 1 in 20 of the late model RS's. Every now and then we'd get a customer who would make the install then see a lit up dash light. For years the manufacturer couldn't figure out why this happened ... until now. We just got word from the manufacturer that the problem has been resolved with some new hardware and that ALL new kits being sold are the new improved version which should be (he says) problem free on all bikes. Thx Kevin for your diligence. We who are about to rock.. salute you.

4. If you don't like what Cee Bailey or ZTechnik are selling and you are want to try an alternative brand windshield for your 2006-2008 K1200GT... we've heard some good comments on the offering from California Scientific ..including this one from D. Murray... "I bought the CalSci windshield for my 2007 BMW K1200GT. The stock GT windshield poured lots of noisy air right on my helmet (HJC modular, yes it is already noisy.) They installed it in my presence. I was treated very well in the sale. The result is I have quit thinking about the wind blast when I ride. This windshield has added an unanticipated benefit to what is in my opinion the most sophisticated motorcycle available for a good price. The new windshield was well worth the aftermarket money I paid and I do not buy much aftermarket stuff."

5. Want to improve the way your BMW K1200S shifts?? Don't we all.. There's a great post over at I-BMW.com by Vince Adams called Sloppy Shifter Fix for the S. It's well done, walks you through it step-by-step, and has lots of detailed pics showing the procedure. Way to go, V!!

6. Thinking about installing a Power Commander 3 on your BMW K1200R or K1200S? There's a How-to PDF here... and an accompanying post by Bill.. aka.. 911f over at I-BMW.com Bill recently did the install and posted his own helpful tips for anyone brave enough to attempt it. Expect at least a 5 hour job. Thx, B.

7. We just got the sad news that Widder Enterprises.. makers of electric riding gear since 1971 has closed their doors.. Geezz!! Another motorcycle related biz bites the dust due to the state of the economy. Thx, Barney Frank for all you've done.

8. Can't get your knee down no matter how hard you try? It's probably your technique... Check out MCN's How To Get Knee Down video here... Kids.. don't try this at home.

9. Own a BMW K1300S and looking for frame sliders? Here's a blurb I just received from R & G Racing (in the UK).." I'm glad to hear that you have many customers looking for sliders for the K1300S. The K1200S kit you have been selling will not fit (we took a preliminary look) - The good news is, we should start work on the new bike in the next couple of days." Best regards, Simon

10. Looking for a BMW Integral ABS (Servo Assist) Brake Bleed/Flush Funnel Tool ? Look no further...This funnel tool is for bleeding or flushing the servo assisted (Integral) ABS brake systems on late model BMW bikes. It is an affordable alternative to the OE BMW tool (# 341580 - cost $213) and will allow you to bleed and/or flush the brake fluid on your late model Integral ABS system yourself.

11. Max Moto just emailed me a pdf showing their all new Remus Hexacone Exhaust for the K1300S and K1300R..They will offer a full system and slip-ons in Ti or stainless. It's not even on their website yet..Will post pics and prices on our website when I get a chance. For now.. Here's a pic of the K1300S / K1300R HexaCone Slip-on.

What's New at Pirates' Lair?

1. "I wonder who could have made you write these things..Could it be... SATAN?." .. The Church Lady.. . I got a phone call just after our last cheesy subscriber e-newsletter went out from a recipient (and friend) who casually mentioned that in his opinion things had turned a bit "R" rated in the last issue or two. He wasn't complaining.. Just sayin.' I reminded him (and I'm reminding our quasi-esteemed readers) that my on-line cheesy newsletter is somewhat more PC when compared to the un-censored subscriber version. You could say that the e-subscriber version is the "directors cut." If you consider yourself among the meek, religious, sensitive, and/or a radical mooslim and are easily offended by my verbal or visual shenanigans ...do not subscribe. If you are already a subscriber and want to un-subscribe from my cheesy e-newsletters.. just let me know.. I won't take it personal. My intention is not to offend..only to enlighten...

While I'm on the subject of being politically incorrect, I got another phone call last week from a female representative of a Kaleeforina BMW dealer. She called just to let me know that the picture of the young lady (with the firm pouting young breasts) on our Disclaimer page offended her and probably every other woman who ventures to that page. She actually told me I should remove it. I told her that A. I had gotten at least a thousand emails over the last few years telling me they love the pic and B. Most appreciated the fact that I do not cower to a PC society and C. My wife likes the picture. I also let her know that she was the first and only complaint I'd ever gotten. FYI.. I kinda like the pic, too...

Could he be... SATAN!?

2. BMW K1300GT Owners: We just found out that the ZTechnik TechMount that we've been selling for the K1200S will install and work perfectly on the right side only (brake side) of the new K1300GT. Here's a pic of the unit on a 2009 K1300GT. Another customer told us that it will also work on the left side if you reverse something.. Trying to get that info as we speak. Perfect for a radar detector, a GPS, Cell phone, Toll transponder, or XM Radio.

3. We now carry Verholen Bar Risers and Throttlemeister for the new K1300GT..

4. There will be an electronic cruise control on the market for the K1200S in a few more weeks. Final road tests are underway in Australia and final tweaking of the instructions. Not sure as to pricing yet. Stay tuned.

5. We just got a rare shipment of SILVER Pirates Lair Torque Arms... These will fit your K1300S, 2005-08 K1200S, K1200R, K1200R Sport, K1300GT, or 2006-08 K1200GT.. Each comes with the stylish Pirates Lair logo lovingly engraved on the visible side. Each will guarantee attention from the apposite sex..and occasionally from the same sex.

6. We just found out that our Synto Brake and Clutch Levers ( produced in Germany) fit the new BMW K1300S. These are made by the same people that produce the Wunderlich Levers. Fully adjustable 6 positions so getting the ergos right on your bike has never been easier. 6 colors to choose from for levers and adjusting wheel. Mix and match! Silver, Gold, Blue, Black, Red, & Titanium. . Not cheap, but look at it this way.. If I don't get your money.. congress will and at least if you buy these you'll have something to show for it. These also fit the following bikes..every model year K1200S, K1200R, K1200R Sport, 2007-08 K1200GT, R1200GS, R1200GS Adventure, R1200R, R1200S, R1200ST, and HP2 Enduro. Not sure if these will fit the K1300's yet.

7. The all new Laser Stealth HotCam 2 slip-ons are finally in the states and shipping to pre-paid customers. I got mine yesterday. Looks sweet. It's available in full carbon fiber only. To hell with Viagra. If this doesn't give you a chub then you should donate your eyes to someone who can appreciate them. Pirates' Lair is the first to have them. Web page is up. These will fit the K1200S, K1200R, R Sport, and the 2006-08 K1200GT. The same kit fits all these bikes. A removable silencer comes with each kit. Total weight is 5lbs 8oz.

8. We've got a waaay cool new product on the menu. The Park-n-Move is the ‘must have’ product for all motorcycle owners needing to easily move their motorcycle around the garage. The Park-n-Move allows one person to easily park their motorcycle in any location they desire in the garage. This sucker recently won Motorcycle Consumer News' "Innovation of the Month!" It has four 360° heavy-duty casters allowing your motorcycle to be placed anywhere room is available. Valuable floor space in your garage is used in the most efficient manner. The Park-n-Move utilizes the centerstand found on many of today’s motorcycles. Simply roll the Park-n-Move under the bike, fold down your centerstand, and move your motorcycle anywhere in the garage. I wish I had designed this thing.. I'm using one in my garage now.. Too cool.
Show me more, Capitan!

9. O, Canada.. Et tu, Brute?: Part 3.. It just keeps getting worse. In our last two cheesy newsletters, I went off on a justified rant about how some of our Canadian customers were refusing to pay their customs fees on orders they had received from us. Those fees got kicked back on us. As all our Canadian customers know, these fees are NOT included in our pricing and are told as much prior to us shipping.

Since the last newsletter we have received even more kick-backed bills from a total of 19 Canadian customers who refused to pay their FedEx customs bills. Can you believe this? To date we're on the hook for close to $1800.US and because of these unpaid fees.. FedEx has suspended our account. As I stated in last months newsletter, we ship as many products to Europe and Australia and Japan as Canada yet not one European .. not one Australian .. not one Japanese has ever tried to f#@* us like this and I know for a fact that their duties are every bit as Orwellian as Canada's if not worse.

So what's a Pirate to do? Glad you asked. Amber is in the process of tracking down these people with the help of FedEx (and some ex-special forces guys) and giving them 10 days to pay up before we turn their names over to a collection agency. If we have NOT received payment in the 10 days from every single apathetic Canadian customer... A. We're gonna post their names, address, and email address in an upcoming newsletter. B. We're gonna stop ALL shipping to Canada and when fellow Canadians ask why.. we're gonna provide the apathetic customer's name(s) and email address(s) and explain that because those individuals represent the country of Canada, until they resolve the issues, no more shipments will go north of the US border. Perhaps a few fellow Canadians can convince them to suck it up and do the right thing. Is this extreme? You bet your Canadian ass.

K12 Rally / Event News : Down The Road: 2009

2009 Texas Hill Country K12 Rally: April 20-23, 2009

Where: ...River Inn Resort in Hunt, Texas
When: April 20th thru 23rd, 2009 (Mon – Thurs)

Breakfast one day at OST in Bandera
Lunch one day at Los Maples in Utopia
Lunch one day at Coopers BBQ in Plano
Pie run one day to the Koffee Cup in Hico

Call River Inn Resort for reservations. / 1-800-841-0501 price will be the same as last year.
To get the best room rate, tell them you are with the " I-BMW Group "

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2009 Blue Ridge Parkway K12 Rally: May 14-17, 2009

Where: Peaks of Otter Lodge, Blue Ridge Pkwy mp 86, Virginia
When: May 14th thru 17th, 2009 (Thur – Sun)

Call Peaks of Otter Lodge for reservations.
1.540.586.1081 • 1.800.542.5927 • Fax 1.540.586.4420
Note: Specify one bed or two. !!........Peaks does not offer Group Rates

Blue Ridge Parkway info and maps can be found here and here

Alternate Lodging (info only) :
Super 8 – Bedford
Days Inn – Bedford

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I-BMW.com Track Day Weekend! June 20-21, 2009

When: June 20-21st, 2008 (Saturday & Sunday)
Where: Roebling Road Race Track (Savannah, GA area)
Cost: 1 instructional group with 10 people. Cost is $250.00 per day. $500 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED! 1 non-instructional with 20 people. Cost is $150.00 per day. $300 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED!

Woohoo! Are you ready for the second annual www.I-BMW.com track day weekend? Of course you are. The weekend is confirmed and reserved. If you are a member of I-BMW.com or just a mere mortal and are interested in attending this event you should visit the site for full details..

If the event is anything like last year, about 50% of the attendees will be on BMW's.. the other 50% on other brand bikes.. Ducati, MV Agusta, YamaHonSuzuSaki, etc. All religions are welcome.

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2009 Summer Solstice K12 Rally: June 19-21, 2009

Where: Sun & Ski Inn and Suites in Stowe, Vermont
When: June 19th thru 21st, 2009 (Fri – Sun)

The 2009 Summer Solstice Rally will again be in Stowe, VT on the weekend of June 19, 20 and 21. It will be at the Sun & Ski Inn on the Mountain Road. Just up from previous years location.

The rates based on Dbl occ
Standard $105
Superior $110

Rates incl breakfast, exclude rooms and meals tax of 10% and a 7 % service fee. Cancellation period is 15 days. They do ask for a one night deposit to hold the reservation. Participants should call in for direct reservations and refer to the BMW gathering for the correct rates.

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2009 Sierra Gold Rush K12 Rally: Sept 13-16, 2009

Where: Sonora Days Inn, Sonora, California
When: Sept 12th thru 16th, 2009 (Sun – Weds)

A pre-rally is planned in Downieville, CA at the Riverside Inn: Rooms are reserved for Sept. 9th through 11th. September 12th will be a travel day to Sonora, an easy and beautiful day's ride south of Downieville.Lodging here is very limited... there are only a handful of rooms available, so if you plan to attend the pre-rally you should make your reservations immediately. Tell them that you are with the I-BMW group!! If they are booked up when you call, there is other lodging available in Downieville, and everything is within walking distance:

For booking at the actual Sierra Gold Rush Rally call the Sonora Days Inn at 209-532-2400. Tell them that you are with the I-BMW group. If you talk to someone who is clueless about our group, ask to speak to Tracy. We have rooms reserved here for Sept. 12th through 15th, with the 16th optional. This rally will be even better than the last, and we are expecting a much larger turnout in 2009, so make your reservations now! If all the planets align.. I'll see you there. . I've already made my reservations.

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*NEW* The 10th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally: Sept 24-27th, 2009 ( New Location! )

Where: Ridge Top Motel and Campground, Bryson City, North Carolina
390 Arlington Ave, Bryson City, NC 28713
When: Sept 24th thru 27th, 2009
Reservations: (828) 488-6363 Toll Free (866) 415-9692

Be sure to mention i-bmw group

Rates $45 per night plus tax / MC, Visa , Amex , Disc
Office closes at 11:00 pm (late arrivals be sure to call ahead)
24 hour cancellation notice / Click for Google Map

Recently we were shocked to learn of the closing of the Topoco Lodge (near Robbinsville.) For the last nine straight years our Deals Gap K12 Rally has been held there. So what to do? Well thanks to the quick action of our bud, Tim (aka..Cbnfvr over at www.I-BMW.com) an alternative site has been booked. The 2009 Deals Gap K12 rally will be held in Bryson City, NC at the Ridge Top Motel and Campground. This'll be the 10th anniversary of the most sacred K12 gathering. This motel won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!! This'll be the last K12 Rally of 2009, my friends.

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How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

We have (2) new contributions this month ..Woohoo!! Check out #140, contributed by Sir Richard Johnson of Portland Oregon
and #141 contributed by Bob Hamlin of Rockville, MD

Could these tips save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

Pirates Lair Sacred Archives

We get a lot of requests for specific articles and/or reviews I've written in the past. Rather than fry my aging brain trying to remember where they are on our multi-thousand page website.. I have decided to list the "worthy" ones here. Most of the links are to past newsletters.. Some are to full web articles. Remember, I'm no expert on anything except perhaps cunnilingus so the opinions within the archives are only my own. Saavy?

BMW How-To Section

Our last offering was from Sir David W. Pancerz ...
Check out his How To Install R & G Frame Sliders On A 2008 BMW K1200GT. It's the first listing on the page. . Thx David. Well done.

Picture at right Courtesy of Sports Illustrated photographer Walter Iooss, Jr. / Model: Ms Melissa Haro

Click For Larger Image.. If You Want a Chub..

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Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues