Take me home, El Capitan!

"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Each month or so, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy K12 newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net or call us at 828.628.7093 EST .. otherwise you'll get 90% of it here. Why only 90%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell .. I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it.
While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek, amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment.
So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: February 2004 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed K12 Riders.... ..A famous (and slightly edited) movie quote...

Roy: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.
[Bird flies off...]
Deckard : I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life, anybody's life, my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? When is the next Pirates' Lair Cheesy Newsletter coming out... All I could do was sit there and watch him die.
Rutger Hauer & Harrison Ford / Blade Runner / 1982

Yes, it's time again. My own personal "no-spin" zone with the quasi-noble intent of informing you of what's new in the BMW K1200RS/GT community and... at Pirates' Lair.

News From The Front
Remember the fund drive we had for Brad Reetz's daughter, Anna just before Christmas? To refresh your feeble memories.. over 120 people contributed over $2800 and sent the $$ along with a picture of Brad to her.... Well this note from Anna arrived 1/25/04... It is intended for all of us... (pasted in it's entirety)

To All My Dads BMW Buddies,

THANK YOU so much, everyone, for the money that you sent!! It was such a nice surprise. Every year, my camp (Alford Lake in Maine) invites some older campers to go on special trips. Last year I spent 5 weeks at a camp in Mexico, and for this summer I was invited to spend 7 weeks traveling in the British Isles, with 9 other girls and 2 leaders. I am REALLY excited about going. But, as you can imagine, the trip is very expensive so your contributions are really going to help! (My father always paid for me to go to camp but this year my mom was going to have to pay for all of it.)

My father would have been very proud to know that he had such good friends in so many places.

~ Anna Reetz ~
(Age 14)

News that Pisses Me Off.. and It Should Piss You Off, Too

Five months after running a South Dakota stop sign at high speed and colliding with motorcyclist Randy Scott and killing him, former South Dakota Governor and U.S. Congressman, now convicted felon, William Janklow was sentenced to a paltry 100 days in jail. Geezus.. A disgrace to our judicial system.
The statute under which 64-year-old Janklow, who has numerous speeding violations under his belt, was convicted for second-degree manslaughter sets no minimum sentence. The range of possible sentences that Judge Rodney Steele could have imposed on Janklow ranged from nothing to 11 years behind bars and/or a an $11,400 fine. Options included probation, loss of driving privileges, restitution and community service. The average sentence for this offense is around seven years.
Motorcyclist magazine is suggesting that all who feel that the sentence was excessively lenient may attempt to boycott South Dakota's largest tourist event, the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. I second that. What makes this so distastful is that he has shown no remorse whatsoever...BTW.. Do you hear something? Me neither.. just the deafening silence from the AMA...

What's new in the K1200RS/GT News

1. "Shaka.. When the walls fell..." Looks like there is a recall on all 2001-2004 K12's and 2000-2004 R bikes.. potentially 39,000.. Many dealers don't even know yet so don't be surprised if you call them to schedule the check/fix and they act clueless..or a little more clueless than usual. The recall involves the fuel system, hoses, lines, piping, and fittings. Apparently there's the potential for a gas tank barbecue with YOU being the entree. Not good. For info Click HERE. or go directly to the NHTSA site and search for NHTSA CAMPAIGN ID Number #04V028000 Recall Date : JAN 15, 2004

2. I have a few pics of the K12 replacement bike in our photo gallery They are in the album called 2005 K12 Replacement Bike: First Shots BMW Corporate is still pulling a "Harpo" on the bike offering few details and stupid looks. Our source in Germany (who is also licensed to kill.....) furnished us with these juicy quasi-rumors about the new bike.
A. new K will be presented at the INTERMOT 2004 fair Munich/Germany in mid September 2004.
B. new K will have 170 bhp and weight less than 240 kg. (you do the math)
C. Production of "Old" K will be continued.
D. BMW is test-driving three new K on an island located in Spain.

3. For those of you with CLEAR LENSES on your rear blinkers, Run-N-Lites is now producing a new version of their Lite Buddy Kits with WHITE resin plastic instead of the current red. What this means is, you will not be able to see the units behind the clear lenses unless the lights are on. Gives them a sleeker look.

4. Remus has decided to discontinue production of their K12 Viper Exhausts. Not sure why..There are a handful left in the states as I write this.

5. and speaking of K12 exhaust systems,.. due mostly to the Herculean strength of the Euro, Staintune has just raised their retail price on the K1200RS/GT system to... (are you sitting?.. Astroglide warm?....).. a lofty $1619 !!! This makes it the most expensive exhaust system in the US as far as I know. Ouch!

6. If you are thinking about buying one the Martin Machine Radar/GPS mounts and you own a late 2003/2004 KRS or GT you may be out of luck. It has been brought to our attention that in another bonehead move, BMW has changed to smaller diameter fork caps (by 1 mm) on some of the latest K12's coming off the assembly line. The Martin cores/caps will NOT fit on these new bikes. How do you tell the difference? Easy.. if the top of your (2) caps is slightly concave, you're fine. If the top is FLAT, then their kits will NOT fit your bike. Why on earth would BMW change something like this in the last year of production? My theory is... since the GT and RS has been supposedly discontinued, they are simply using everything they have on the shelves trying to reduce inventory rather than manufacturing new parts for a "lame duck" bike...

7. Suburban Machinery is about to release a Type 2 GT Barback to the market. I don't have specific details as to how much further back they come than their Type 1 that we have been selling, but it looks substantial. The Type 2 Kit will include the 'backs, longer throttle cables and a longer Spiegler brake line. Posted cost is $325.00 They have them listed as available this month. May already be on the market.

8. There's a good How-To on Sticker Removal at Motorcyclist On-Line. I get the question more often than you'd believe...

9. Thinking about buying a radar detector? Well.. you should. It's common knowledge that there are 3 on the market worth having.. the V1, the Passport 8500, and the Bel 980.. the others are just lost, lazy stepchildren. V1 and Passport owners have more rivalry between them than the Israelis and the Palestinians (only without the suicide bombers.. so far...) and much of this is due to the bad blood and verbal fencing between Mike Valentine and Craig Peterson over at http://www.radartest.com/ For the latest on their never ending war of words.. Click Here .

What's new at Pirates' Lair?

Those front Clear Lenses for your 97-2001 K1200RS are in production! I have a few pics up in our Photo Gallery It's the album called Clear Lenses for Early K12.. Duh. We will offer them with or without Sylvania SilverStar version 1156A ST bulbs. The SilverStar have a silver/clear/bluish appearance when off and an amber color when illuminated. They look great behind the clear lenses and only appear amber/orange when used.

2. For those of you with the Silver/Blue K1200RS's...that have been on our backs about producing a tee with you're bike on it..it's done and we now have them in stock. Click HERE for a first look. Keep in mind, like the other tees we produce.. these are all limited production. When they are gone.. will probably not produce more. and No.. this is not a sales gimmick... not that I'm above that. So it is written.. so let it be done...

3. Like losing your hair or bad acting from Jan Michael Vincent.. some things are inevitable...We are now offering Kendon Trailers Yea.. yea.. some of you "manly" men would NEVER tow... but some of us with soft compound tires do. One of the http://www.i-bmw.com/ regulars brought one of these fold up/fold down trailers to the last Deals Gap Rally and I was impressed...
We also are wanting to add at least one covered/inclosed trailer to our product line and are seeking advice from those lucky enough to have one. If anyone has opinions as to a specific brand.. we would appreciate any advice, feedback, suggestions, or naked pictures..

4. We are currently SOLD OUT of our Solo Seat Cowlings and there will be no more produced. Due to the expense of having them hand-made in fiberglass, we had decided to commission a company to produce them in thermo-plastic so we could cut the price. The new manufacturer produced a few molds and prototypes but they were not up to my standards and corrections would have been too costly. Bottom line...I got it done.. had them on the market over a year... and you f#@*ed around and didn't get one .. Sa la vie...

5. Thinking about buying a Two Brother's Exhaust for thy trusty steed? 130 stock ponies simply yawn inspiring? Ditto that, good buddy.. While it's common knowledge that their systems are the most powerful on the market, their company logo is a bit..er... cheesy looking. Many prefer their canister's without the yellow logo riveted on and unlike most dealers, due to the volumes we sell, Two Bros gives us the option of ordering with or without. In the past, they were charging us only $10 each extra for these...(I'll assume to discourage us and everyone else from doing it) and we ate the difference.. then they upped it to $15 extra... and we ate the difference... now they have upped the ante to $25 extra and we're not hungry any more so we're gonna have to ask our customers to eat it.. FYI... as we sell these WITHOUT the logo by 10-1.. the systems we keep in stock are usually without.

6. Just heard from Reevu. As mentioned in the last newsletter, the Reevu MSX-1 Helmet has a series of non-breakable mirrors made somehow into the rear that projects a rear view image across the top front of your visor allowing the rider a full view of what's behind them...Here's a first look at This word from the manufacturer (pasted)

Dear Sir / Madam
The production shall be at the beginning of 2004. We launched the Helmet at Milan in Sep to ascertain the reaction from distributors that represent the motorsports market. The technology and the helmets astounded everyone as well as the motorsports enthusiasts as you can imagine. The helmet will be available with all of the relevant standards in sizes range from XS to XXL. It is manufactured to the best available technology with anti scratch anti bacteria and real ventilation system made in Italy. 10 years of research and development have gone into this product to give the consumer the best available product at this time. The helmet will be available in Black and Black Matt And Silver and Silver Matt. The price will be circa 350 to 400 Euro depending on Local taxes. And transport. That is approx £258. In dollars we hope it will be no more than 400 but will not know this retail price until they land in the Country. Keep checking our web site for updates of distribution after Jan 2004. Hopefully the product Images will be available in the next couple of Months to be viewed on the web.

Amber and I are hoping to be one of only a handful of US importer/distributors. Waiting for confirmation and a couple of demo helmets. Fingers crossed.

7. We now have the Wunderlich Passenger Peg Lowering Kits in stock. This kit will lower the rear pegs by a full 60mm down increasing the knee and hip angle of your beloved or quasi-beloved passenger. After all.. your pegs are adjustable (either up or down) so now the passenger can enjoy the same choice. Seems only fair. Web page is in the works.

8. As previously mentioned, our MV Agusta section is officially on-line. This may not interest most BMW people but it gives me wood. and we all know.. "wood is good." Will probably not make a freakin' penny on this project.. but I'm giving it my best shot. Already have some exclusive products that should rock any F4 or Brutale owner's world including the worlds' first MV Throttlemeister developed just for us and sold exclusively by us. It's good to be the king.. Being urged by the microscopic MV community to organize an MV F4 Blue Ridge Rally... that would be interesting..

9. You may have recently heard Bill O'Reilly talking about us becoming Staintune peddlers. Yep... Guilty as charged.. A major feather in our Pirate's bandana. As of this week, not only are we hawking the K1200RS/GT 'tune, but we are now carrying the entire Staintune line....Aprilia, Ducati, Kawasaki, Moto Guzzi, Suzuki, Triumph, and Yamaha . Check out our All Bike Staintune Price chart by Clicking HERE

10. Amber will be a representative for Pirates' Lair at the Honda Hoot being held in Knoxville, Tn. in late June. She'll be hawking our new ST1300 Stealth Backrests which is the world's ONLY backrest that fits this bike as well as whatever else she feels like carrying down..Have not secured a booth yet.. may be inside.. may be out... Y'all come by and see her.

11. As mentioned in a "lessor" section, Remus has decided to discontinue production of their K12 Viper Exhausts. My distributor has the last handful produced...
Let me know....

12. I mentioned last month that due to the strong Euro (and IMHO) , I was pulling the Verholen K12 Quick Shift Kits out of our product line. Hated to do that as it's a great accessory. Well.. Zeus must be smiling as we were just contacted by a Canadian company that wants to produce them at a cheaper price and... give us full distribution rights. Will keep you informed...

13. Our newest product to both our K12 and MV customers is the Baxley Sport Chock Simple, lightweight and will securely hold your K12/GT or sport bike upright by simply riding or pushing the bike into the chock... and if you want.. it has a small lock to keep the bike from rolling back out. As us K12'ers have a centerstand, this goodie would best be utilized in a trailer or pick-up when hauling. I'm having mine installed this next week. I put it on the menu mostly for either trailer use or for the sport bike people without the luxury of a centerstand. For racers, this is the perfect stand to leave in the pits so you can ride in and get off your race bike.. when you get ready, it rolls right back out.. It's designed for any bike with 120 x 17" front tires, which is just about every sport bike on the market including the KRS and GT. .Another great benefit of using the LA Chock is that no front tie downs are necessary if trailoring. Just secure the rear of the motorcycle with straps and the chock does the rest. Never bottom out your forks again. Web page in the works.


Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2004 /

Word from a few different sources including Rider Magazine and Motorrad say there's gonna be a big BMW Rally at the Biltmore Estate here in Asheville, NC supposedly in May or June 2004. The Biltmore has graciously agreed to open up a large area of their estate for campers. In case you are unfamiliar with this place.. it's the bomb.. think Hearst Castle luxurious. Very scenic.. a huge tourist attraction here on the east coast.. IMHO.. it should be an excellent place for a rally with mountain roads within 10 minutes... will probably have some sort of gathering here at the 'Lair... Details to come...

The 2004 K12 Hill Country Rally will be held on April 8-11, 2004 in Kerrville, Tx. Barry Gibbs, the "seasoned" rally organizer (and former costume designer for Janet Jackson) is now taking reservations for the rally to be held at Inn of the Hills in Kerrville. Amber and I are gonna try to make it this year. Mark those dates on your calendar right now. The Hill Country Rally is one of the best K1200RS rallies to be held anywhere. Great roads, no traffic, Texas hospitality, and the largest roadkill you'll ever see.. Check it out at http://www.tbmwsr.com/

The 2004 K12 Blue Ridge Parkway Rally has been planned for May 6-9, 2004 and will be held at the Inn at Afton in Charlottesville, VA or (800) 860-8559.) Rally planners have locked in 108 rooms / Rate = $50 a night. Reference "BMW" when calling. Register at www.abrahamson.net/brpr2004/index.htm

The 5th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally is already scheduled!! Tapoco Lodge is reserved for Sep 30th - Oct 3rd, 2004. As we did in 2003, Fontana Village and the Microtel Inn will be able to handle overflow. When contacting Tapoco about lodging mention K12RS BMW, or they may say they are full when actually it's reserved for "us". 828.498.2435 or 800.822.5083

New How-To Tips ...
Just added (4) new How to Survive On Your Motorcycle tips....(#61 sent in by the quasi-esteemed Ken Bowen / Dallas Texas, #62 by Tosh Konya / Troy OH, #63 by Wade Davis / Ocala,Fl., and #64 by John Ahearne / San Francisco, CA
Thanks guys... Will it save your life.. read them and see..

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and I'll add it on.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

Guess that smells like the end... Take care.. ride safe...stay warm...see you in my mirrors..

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues