'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Around the 15th of
each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy K12 newsletter
to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S world
and of course... Pirates' Lair. How
else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these
sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at email@example.com .. otherwise you'll
get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth
as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my
opinion" into your home, office or cell .. I have no desire to slam, insult,
or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they
blatantly deserve it.
The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: May 2005 Issue
|Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed K12 Riders.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the day.....|
police interrogation room is large, fluorescent-lighted, antiseptic. She
walks in with Nick and Gus. In the room are prosecutor John Corrigan, Lt.
Walker, Captain Talcott, Harrigan, and Andrews. There is a police stenographer:
a plain young woman in her 20's. As soon as she comes in --
Corrigan: I'm John Corrigan. I'm an assistant district attorney, Ms. Tramell. Can we get you anything? Would you like some coffee?
Catherine: No thank you.
Talcott: Are your attorneys --
Nick: (hiding a smile) Ms. Tramell waived her right to an attorney. Corrigan and Talcott glance at Nick. She sees the look.
Catherine: (smiles) Did I miss something?
Nick: I told them you wouldn't want an attorney present.
LT. Walker: Why have you waived your right to an attorney, Ms. Tramell?
Catherine: (to Nick) Why did you think I wouldn't want one?
Nick: I told them you wouldn't want to hide.
Catherine: I have nothing to hide. The two of them keep their eyes on each other. She sits down. They sit around her. Nick sits directly across from her. She lights up a cigarette. They watch her. She is poised, cool, in complete command of herself.
Corrigan: There is no smoking in this building, Ms. Tramell.
Catherine: What are you going to do? Take my Pirates' Lair Cheesy Newsletter? Ever so casually, she blows her smoke across at Nick.
Corrigan: Would you tell us the nature of your relationship with Mr. Boz?
Catherine: I had sex with him for about a year and a half. I liked having sex with him.
She has control of the room: she looks from one man to the other as she speaks.
Catherine: (continuing) He wasn't afraid of experimenting. I like men like that. I like men who give me pleasure. He gave me a lot of pleasure.
Catherine Tramell / Sharon Stone/ Nick / Michael Douglas.. Basic Instinct (1992)
News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!
2005 Blue Ridge Parkway BMW Rally is Upon You !!!! (organized
by the good guyz at www.I-BMW.com)
Where: Peaks of Otter 1-800-542-5927 Blue Ridge Parkway, mile post 86
When: This freakin' weekend!! May 12-15 (Thur-Sun)
No idea if there are any rooms left but any and all info should/can be found at http://abrahamson.net/brpr2005/index.html Watch your speeding, my brethren.. Radar detectors are joojoo in Virginia.. Carry a cheapie spare in your jacket in case the blue meanies pull you over .. Just hand them the cheapie and throw your gloves over your V1 or Passport.
Texas Hill Country Rally a Success : Organizers Worthy of Praise and/or
It was 1300 miles of godawful boring superslab to get there, but.. surprisingly.. it was worth it... Had a great time!! The best Texas Hill Country Rally yet as far as I am concerned. Puuuuurfect weather.. good company... good food.. loose agenda...nekid women.. ..who could ask for more?
Lots of new people... lots of regulars.. I think virtually everyone had a good time in spite of officer Sanchez, who I suspect is the anti-Christ who handed out a few velocity awards to members of our group.
A public thanks to the aging Barry Gibbs and the lovely model he hires to play his wife, Joan. Helluva job, guyz. Thanks for everything... I'm sure next year's new organizer, James (Pooh-Bah) Myrick of Texas will carry the torch with honor... Was a pleasure!!!!
I have a few pictures (some of my own... some I pilfered from www.i-bmw.com ) by Clicking HERE and BTW.. at the time of this posting.. our photo gallery was experiencing problems.. It may be up or down when you try the link..
Cam Kit On the Market from Rhinewest Performance, Inc
I was told that BMW tweaked the factory 05LT software to the max. The Cam Kits come with both new cam sprockets which are a little larger than a silver dollar and software/chip. Cost is around $559. If you already have a chip, they will work with you for a lower price of $359 or so. I guess they'll swap you a new chip for the one you have. This issue is unclear at this time. Install time is about 1.5 hours and they tell me if you have it done at the time of your valve check.. your extortionist.. er.. dealer will probably charge you less for the procedure.
What will you gain? Besides a few velocity awards, about the same HP as the $400 chip but with much more low-end torque. MUCH more!. As a matter of fact.. I rode their test bike and it blew me away. Funny bastages that they are, they never told me that the kit was installed and during the ride I was thinking.. "Geeezz".. my bike must be horribly out of tune as mine NEVER felt like this... and I DO have a chip installed." On the test bike I was effortlessly spinning the tire out of turns.. At the first stop, Hank (the RW dyno man extrordinaire and apparently part-time comedian) leaned over with a cheshire grin and says.. "Notice anything different?? I knew then that the bike was tweaked.. Bottom line.. it delivers serious grunt down low...noticeably more than a standard "chipped" bike. You feel it below 5K where most of us mere mortals live and ride. The kits should be available at the time this goes to press...er.. cyberspace but.. there is one kicker..and you may want to sit down if you are already slobbering with anticipation... The KRS/GT/LT Cam Kit can ONLY be used with the stock exhaust. No aftermarket pipes.
Shoot-Out: How Important is Your Spine? or What would Christopher Reeve
K1200GT?? The Fat Lady Is Singing...
While a designated 2005 Silver K1200GT is arriving in Canada, Australia, and all over Europe.. our sources say virtually none will make it into the US until the 2004 stock is sold... According to BMWON magazine and the UK's Motor Cycle News Magazine, BMW is trying to deplete it's stock of 2004 GT's..hence the killer deals being offered to get ready for the new bike's arrival. What next you are asking?? Spy shots are coming out of Spain of a suspected all new K1200GT based on the new engine.. While the designation should remain the same.. the bike will be virtually all new. Both magazines predict the all new GT version will arrive on US soil as a 2006 model at just under $20,000.US
Blue Ridge Campground Reopened!! http://www.blueridgemotorcyclecamp.com/
We just heard they're back in biz after the mother of all floods last year. They rebuilt their bridge and are booking cabins for 2005. While I'm not a camper..and never will be, I visited their facility and it's a little piece of heaven in Cruso, NC. As per their website.. "Camp along the cool, clear Pigeon River, watch the sun set behind Cold Mountain and enjoy our evening camp fire. Get to know some of the best people you will ever find...your fellow motorcyclists."
N 35o 24.235 W 82o 48.682
59 Motorcycle Drive
US 276 Cruso, NC
What's New In the K1200RS/GT/S/R World
Thinking about changing
the oil in your K1200RS or GT? I just heard something interesting... There
is a filter on the market that will "fit" our bikes... the FRAM
TG3614. However.. we've been told by our connection at Starfleet
Command that the SURE GRIP coating will melt right off the filter and contaminate
the oil!!!!!! Doh! Steer clear, mates..
2. Many of our customers have purchased the CyclePump by www.BestRestProducts.com I keep one with me at all times... Air when you need it. However..I didn't know until this week that they offer an accessory EZAir Tire Gauge for $25. that connects directly to the pump for air pressure monitoring... Very cool little item. The air hose is 12" long, the 1-1/2" dial is rubber armored, it comes with a protective vinyl storage pouch, and it weighs only 8 ounces. It's a compact package that fits nicely in the palm of your hand. You can even use it as a stand-alone gauge... and BTW... We're told that the new "S" bike does NOT have the correct amperage to power one..
the K1200S Remus Titanium Slip-On
by clicking HERE
5. Ever pulled up to an intersection and the freakin' light will not change for you?... and the aholes behind you start blowing their horns?..and swearing at you? and the line behind you is getting longer and longer? and you are so frustrated that you get off your bike, walk back and pummel the old codger in the Buick behind you and get his blood all over your new Alpinestar gloves and boots? I hate it when that happens!.. FYI.. If you ever get pulled over for running one of these non-changing lights, cite to the officer Vehicle Code 21800 section "D" which says.." The driver of any vehicle approaching an intersection which has official traffic control signals that are inoperative or not functioning shall stop at the intersection, and may proceed with caution when it is safe to do so. " We checked and this applies to most states.. probably not yours..., but it couldn't hurt to get a copy and keep it with you. My policy is.. I'll wait for THREE light changes before I run it.. FYI.. and BTW.. I've tried those cheesy magnets you glue underneath and they proved virtually as useless as Randy Savage at a Mensa meeting.
6. Last month I reported on a few cruise related probs caused by using the Brake LED Kit (by Gizmo Mills) or the Clear Tail LED Kit (from Clear Alternatives) Out of hundreds of these kits sold .. perhaps a dozen late K12 bike owners had the EXACT same problem... non-working cruise. At this time, the problem has been solved by BOTH companies and we just resumed shipping kits after pulling both from the market for about 2 weeks. For the early bikes .. 1997-2001.. ... no probs have been reported. Plug-n-play. If you purchased one of their kits and experienced cruise problems, contact them (or whoever you bought from) and you'll get a freebie fix kit and install instructions which, they tell us will make things right as rain.
7. Suburban Machinery (makers of the Type 1 and Type 2 GT Barbacks) is NO longer offering longer throttle cables due to a redesign by BMW. He had been purchasing LT cables and shortening them for the GT/RS riders with longer barbacks, but again.. BMW can't leave well enough alone..He is working on a solution.
is now offering a new rear rack system for the K1200S..the Ventura
Pack Rack. and I swear to Allah it's the ugliest thing I have
ever laid eyes on.
What's New at Pirates' Lair?
We now have the "S"
Throttlemeister's for the K1200S.
In Stock!. Yes. and exclusive as
per mandate of the new Pope... a fellow K1200S owner. If I owned an "S"
bike.. this would be the FIRST accessory I'd buy. Throttlemeister makes
TWO versions for the "S" bike. We will carry only the standard
version. They also make a heavier and slightly longer model, but I chose
NOT to carry it as I personally think the shorter version, which works EXACTLY
the same, looks better on the "S" bike. My will, be done.
2. We just
got our first shipment of the new Staintune
own Liquid Mirror
Polish. The stuff is worthy of the name..
3. Some wood-giving news here.. A handful of our "worthy" customers purchased some of those waaay cool Custom Torque Arms over the past year. .. the one with the Pirates' lair logo engraved on the side. The guy that makes them is as dependable as a Moscow train with only a handful arriving about every 4-9 months. The good news is, a fellow K12'er (and apparent machinist) recently sent me a prototype of a new arm and it's every bit as beautiful as the Pirates' Lair arm and he says he can furnish all we need/want/desire. What could I say to this offer?.. You guessed it.. First order just arrived and we have them IN STOCK at http://pirateslair.net/TorquePL.htm FYI.. these will fit every model K1200RS and GT and keeps the same geometry. 100% bling.
4. We have Verholen "S" BarRisers IN STOCK for the new K1200S!! With these sleek risers, the bars are brought nearer by a full 80 mm. Almost hard to believe. The operating mechanism allows adjustment in a circular arc, allowing the bars to be brought further forward or rearward. Verholen says no longer cables are necessary.. Hoping to post info as to install as soon as I get feedback. Wish I had designed these, dammit.
5. Speaking of the "S" bike.. We have TWO K1200S Tee's on the menu and IN STOCK.. One feature's the Yellow/Black/Silver bike . the other the Blue/White You can see them BOTH by Clicking HERE Be the envy of your work place or prison yard..Guaranteed to get you non-married people laid more often.
6. I had mentioned last month that our next backrest project would be the 2005 R1200RT., but due to parts availability issues, we think we are gonna squeeze in a backrest for the 1000cc and 650cc Suzuki V-Stroms. http://pirateslair.net/SuzukiV.htm Why the Suzuki? We get a lot of requests for them...
7. We will soon have CD Rom shop manuals for the new K1200S and R1200GS. Become one with your bike.. learn how it works and do your own repairs.. Unless you prefer paying for your dealers wife's implants and/or trips to Bora Bora.
8. As per the prophesy.. our R1200GS Stealth Backrest hit the market last week!..We have plenty IN STOCK. I'm proud of the way it turned out. . Comments? Opinions? Jesus juice?
9. We just received our first shipment of MV Agusta Clear Blinker Lenses . Waaay cool.
10. The long awaited MV F4 1000 Exhaust Manifold's are IN STOCK! We are the ONLY US importer.
11. We finally have our MV Agusta Reservoir Covers In STOCK! We offer these in 5 anodized colors.. Red, Black, Blue, Silver, Gold. Leave it to the British to produce something this sweet. Euro craftsmanship. Install is easy as it gets. Fits every model year MV Agusta F4, Brutale, and the new 1000cc F4
12. Artwork for the new Pirates' Lair Hats is almost done... As with the tee's, they will be available in limited numbers.
Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2005
Italy, May 2005 The German K12 Chat site at http://www.k1200rs.de/events/meeting-11/index.htm is having a K12 Rally in Northern Italy next year, May 26-29 2005, in San Damiano near Piacenza and just south of Milan.
Ride to Read Rally (from fellow K12'er Jerome Eberharter / Founder, CEO White Cloud Coffee
& self proclaimed Coffee Adventurer)
Solstice Rally, Northeast (from the quasi-esteemed Mike Cousino
6th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally ...will
again be held at the Tapoco Lodge
in 2005, Sept 29th-Oct 1st to be precise. It won't hold us all, so make
plans now! No sign-up sheet yet. Just reserve a room and be there! Most
of us from this year already have a room, so it's not too soon to plan.
2006 Hill Country Rally
is already in the works!! ! Here's a note from our good pardner James
Myrick,... next year's organizer.....
On A Motorcycle
If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive on your Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and I'll add it on.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so shave your legs.
No contributions this month..