"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around the 1st or 15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S/R world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it. Also..Something to keep in mind... My language in the email subscription version may offend the meek. Subscribe at your own risk. The on-line version is a bit more... PC..

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment. So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: February 2008 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the holidays.....

Tonight Only: Dr. F. Fronkensteen  in "THE GREATEST DISCOVERY SINCE FIRE" Presented in Cooperation With T N S (Transylvanian Neurological Society) A "SOLD OUT" Performance. Inside the audience is filled with elderly scientists, their wives, and the curious from the upper crust of society. A spotlight hits the stage as Dr Freddy Fronkonsteen dressed in tails addresses the eager crowd. Inga, his assistant in a formal, and Igor -- in "something" -- wait excitedly behind the curtain.

Freddy: And now, my fellow scientists and neurosurgeons...I must ask you to...suspend belief. For up until now, you have seen the Creature perform the simple mechanics of motor activity.  That this Creature was an inanimate blob, which I endowed with the secret of life -- yes!...in all honesty -- that showed some measure of skill on my part. But for what you are about to see next...we must enter -- quietly --into the realm of genius.  I say this modestly, only because I am, myself, as in awe of the gifts I possess as if I were observing them in some other person.  I think of them, only, as a loan.  Grateful, of course...that my credit is good. Thus, with the accumulated knowledge of Chemistry, Electricity, Neuro-surgery, the Cheesy Pirates Lair Newsletter...I now present what was once an inarticulate mass of lifeless tissues. Ladies and gentlemen... Mesdames et Messieurs...Damen und Herren...The Creature!

A spotlight hits the darkness next to him. And there --In top hat and tails-- stands the Monster. He is heavily made up.

Freddy:   (singing..) ..If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you...
The Monster accompanies the music with short, simple "Soft Shoe" steps.
Freddy: (singing..) ...go where fashion sits.........................
The Monster: "Poo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!"

Freddy / Gene Wilder.. The Monster / Peter Boyle... / Young Frankenstien...1974

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

Picture Of The Month! Kaleefornia Shoreline! (Click image for a larger view)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our February POTM was sent in by an unknown contributor. Looks like Kaleefornia to me..Hwy 1. I can almost feel the ocean breeze!

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT and B. In focus.

Hi-Rez is fine just not "stupid-large." If you don't know how to reduce a photo from a gargantuan size.. buy a freakin' book or program and learn. Geezz. Along with the photo, provide your full name and a paragraph or two explaining when and where the shot was taken.. some minor details...whatever you want to add.. temp, camera, state of mind, etc, .. I'll evaluate all the photos I accumulate at the end of the month and pick one. No promises! If you beg me to post yours.. that will guarantee you that I won't. Savvy?

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2008 I-BMW Sierra Goldrush K12 Rally: It's Gonna Happen!! (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com )

The very first west coast K12 rally is in the works, my friends and I am excited. Details haven't been finalized as of yet but it is gonna happen in mid-late Sept and if the planets align.. I'll be there. Here's the latest from the organizer..Sir Charlie Wickliffe.. aka Kneedragger over at www.I-BMW.com

"While there are still many details to finalize, plans for the 2008 Sierra Gold Rush Rally continue to progress. Lodging information will be forthcoming in the months ahead. The exact base camp location is being researched, but it will definitely be in the area around Angels Camp and Sonora. Anyone who has ridden this area and the spectacular, nearby Sierra passes knows that it is truly motorcycle heaven. Within a short ride of base camp are Yosemite National Park, and four incredible Sierra passes… Hwy 120, Tioga Pass; Hwy 108, Sonora Pass; Hwy 4, Ebbitts Pass, and Hwy 88, Carson Pass. In addition, Lake Tahoe is within easy riding distance for those interested in the night life and gambling.

The dates are still planned as September 14th through 18th, so mark your calendars for a fantastic California adventure. I am open to suggestions, but the location and dates are pretty much set in stone at this point. More details will be provided as rally plans progress. Happy trails…"

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Assimilated... Resistance Was Futile: New Air-Box/Software Install on 2006 My K1200S

After an agonizing 6 month wait which encompassed the entire riding season, my new air box finally came in on Jan12th. FYI.. I was one of the collective hive that had the first generation air-box go bad. As I understand it.. they were made of a too-thin plastic that warped with heat over time allowing air to leak in with the result being poor running and a lot of pissed off owners.. I immediately had my dealer (Touring Sport BMW in Greenville, SC) install the new air box and load the latest greatest Borg software (at no charge.) Thought I'd report in with the results. In a word... the difference is night and day.

Hunting idle on start-up / Cured
Stumbling at low RPM while accelerating through the gears / Cured
Engine almost dying when pulling to a stop after high speeds / Cured
Backfiring on deceleration / Cured.
Desire to pistol whip Germans / Cured

Not only are the previous problems cured but the power-band seems more linear, the bike seems smoother over-all, and my erectile disfuction seems to be a thing of the past. Mongo happy! For the first time since I bought it .. it's running near perfect. Not sure if I should be patting the Germans on the back for finally getting it right or chastising them for selling me the bike BEFORE it was perfect. I do know that the bike is finally worthy of the blue and white BMW badge.

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BMW Announces World Superbike Entry for 2009

BMW has announced it will be participating in the 2009 World Superbike Championship. The new team will be formed during the 2008 season under the direction of BMW's head of motorsports Berti Hauser. BMW's brand new 1000cc inline four cylinder engine will be tested under racing conditions and further developed and improved based on the data gained in these tests. Partner in this project is the company alpha Technik GmbH in Stephanskirchen near Rosenheim/Germany. (Spy shot of test bike at right.)

Peter Müller, BMW's head of motorcycle development, says that the company is well aware that they are engaging in competition with manufacturers that have a considerable advantage on BMW because of their long experience in this sport. Although he does not expect BMW's new Superbike project to be a walk in the park he is confident that in cooperation with alpha Technik, and utilizing their decade-long experience in Superbike racing, BMW will be able to compete successfully with the strong international teams of other brands.

Of course, my fellow road pirates.. you know what all this means, doncha? Yep.. Trickle down technology and a new BMW sportbike. We'll be offered some form of this bike in late 08 or early 2009.. This is a good thing no matter how you look at it, bucko and I got a serious chub just thinking about it.

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New Product: Sargent K1200GT World Sport Seat!

Sargent Seats has just started taking orders for their 2006+ BMW K1200GT World Sport Seat. We've already heard good word on this seat from a few lucky testers. It comes in 2 pieces and they offer an optional backrest and a heating option for those with cold buns.The heat does require that you put new electrical connectors on the bike. This takes less than 10 minutes and everything is provided. .And yes, the front seat is adjustable low and high, just like the original.

This World Sport Performance Seats has the following features:
*CarbonFX vinyl seating inserts with a choice of black or metallic silver welt.
*Two Front Seat height options - Regular, which is comparable to the stock seat, and Low.
*Optional Integrated Heat which is designed to work with the on-board OEM Heat Controller.
*Handy, under-the-seat storage area.
*Matching Rear Seat with storage box.
*Optional Passenger Backrest.

What's New In the K1200S / K1200GT / K1200R / K1200RS No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and first generation GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. This looks interesting..the new TPX Radar Detector from Adaptiv Technologies . Designed specifically for motorcycles, the all-weather-proof TPX offers both a wireless visual alert or a wireless helmet speaker. .. and if you want.. you can use BOTH wireless warning devices simultaneously. Just think of the possibilities. As per their website.. "The Visual Alert can be mounted just about anywhere on your bike so as to be within your peripheral vision. Its bright LED lights flash when radar and laser signals are detected so you don't have to take your eyes off the road. With adjustable brightness settings, you’ll be able to see it even in direct sunlight without being blinded at night. The Wireless Headset and the Visual Alert can also be used at the same time. " If anyone finds comparison tests of this detector vs a V1 or Passport 9500.. Please let me know.. If the detector is as good as these others it would be a revolutionary product.. but that is a big IF. I'll be evaluating a unit as soon as the weather turns. Will keep you posted.

Click Here For Larger View.. If You Dare!

2. Speaking of Adaptiv Tecnologies... Here's some further news from the company that took my breath away...They also said the following..."We are currently in the R&D phase of making a wireless transmitter for other radar detectors that will work with our Wireless Headset." IMHO.. this is a product that will take the motorcycle industry by storm. Just think about it.. a wireless radar detector audio warning inside your hemet. I've been waiting for this product for years!!

3. Pirelli (my favorite motorcycle tire manufacturer) is adding a new version street tire to their venerable Diablo series line... You can read one of the first reviews of the Pirelli Diablo Rosso Here... For further details visit Pirelli's web site.

4. Spiegler USA (maker of many BMW steel braided brake line kits) just informed us that they have 3 new brake line color options with variations.. White, Green, and Orange.

5. Rukka, best known for their rain suits and/or synthetic riding gear, is launching its first leather touring suit. The leather is lined and laminated with gore-tex and is treated with the TFCool reflection system that keeps the temperature inside the leather a lot cooler by reflecting sunlight. The website indicates they go up to a Euro size 64. Price for jacket and pants... € 2,100. That translates out to a heart stopping $3070.US!

6. Two Brothers Racing just discontinued their venerable C-4 Round Canisters for the BMW K1200RS and or early GT's. They say lack of interest is the reason. Guess I'm getting old as I thought that was the best looking version they offered.. O, well. What the flock do I know?

7. Woohoo! The first ever BMW K12 track day weekend has been arranged by a member of www.I-BMW.com . The event is almost booked so act now or forever hold your piece... The weekend is confirmed and reserved. If you are a member of I-BMW.com or just a mere mortal and are interested in attending this event you should visit the site for full details.. Here's some basic info...
When: August 16 & 17, 2008 (Saturday & Sunday)
Where: Roebling Road Race Track (Savannah, GA area)
Cost: 1 instructional group with 10 people. Cost is $250.00 per day. $500 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED! 1 non-instructional with 20 people. Cost is $150.00 per day. $300 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED!

8. Aussie News Flash: We just got some surprising good news from down under.. My good buddy, Tony Guymer at MotorCycleCruise.. He says.. "We have a K1200S back in the factory and hope to have a cruise control kit by end of Feb."

9. Well it looks like another BMW dealer has gone the way of the Coelacanth...Mid-America Powersports in Wichita Kansas has just dropped BMW's from their vast product line, or vice versa. This is a HUGE dealership. Just a few days ago their website listed BMW, now it doesn't. That's two BMW dealers gone in the Midwest in the last year, Atlas Cycles in Tulsa was the other. What's up wit dis?

What's New at Pirates' Lair?

1. A couple of years ago we carried the then new Kisan TailBlazer for the K1200S and new version K1200GT, but alas..there were CanBus issues. We pulled them from our product line and moved on. Well.. Kisan refused to be beaten by the overly complex German machines, went back to the drawing board then came up with an all new version that for the most part is plug-n-play, trouble free, and CanBus compatible.

The Tailblazer is essentially a pair of plug-n-play replacement bulbs (for the GT) that are both brighter (by about 30-40%) than stock and FLASH when you brake. The TailBlazer uses a flash pattern, which decays exponentially. The attention to the initial flashing now changes to a clear recognition that you're beginning to slow down! Simply flashing brake lights or flashing them on & off will get the attention of drivers behind you, but it doesn't invoke anything else. For now we are going to carry the 2 bulb 2006 & Up K1200GT kit.

Show Me More, Captain!
So...Are the Kisan TailBlazers really problem free and CanBus compatible? Well for the most part..Yes. The Only thing that COULD possibly happen (or so Kisan tells us) is that on a very small percentage of bikes.. perhaps 2-5%...the bulb out lamp MAY pulse with the stop mode. Once it has stopped pulsing, the warning stops. Is there any way to tell which bikes will have the flashing bulb out light? No.. Does Kisan have any idea why only a few bikes have the problem?.. No.. Will Kisan or Pirates Lair refund your $$ if you are one of the lucky few to see the issue? No.. In our opinion.. it's something that's easy to live with considering your bike will be 100% safer.

2. Our Yamaha FJ1300 Stealth Backrest project is moving along faster than I had expected. We received our first prototype a few weeks ago and amazingly.. it was near perfect. After fitting it to an 06 FJ13 and then discussing it with the voices in my head, I sent it back to the machinists asking for a few minor changes. To make the good news even tastier.. Sargent Seats has found us some material that is a dead-on match for the factory seat. If all goes well, I should have the revised prototype any day now. I'm still cautiously optimistic that we will have production pieces on the market by summer.

3. We're still debating whether we want to carry "the ZTechnik Pod" in our product line. Yes it's very sleek and cool but.. it doesn't just strap on to some bikes like advertised. On the BMW K1200S for instance, you'd actually have to modify the underside of the seat with a Dremel to be able to use the Pod. While most customers wouldn't have any problem making minor mods to a seat pan ... some people are clueless as to working with power tools and you know who'd they'd blame should they screw up something?? Yep...Pirates Lair. Opinions are welcome!

4. We have the new Evoluzione Race Air Filter Kits In Stock for the 2007-08 BMW K1200R. The kits are slightly different than the 2006 K1200R kits..

5. As per the blurb above.. Looks like we may have a cruise control for the BMW K1200S on our menu sometime in 2008. The Aussies are working on a kit.

6. We now have brake pedal enlarger kits for the K1200S, K1200R, R Sport, and 2006 & Up K1200GT in stock. This German made enlarger simply slips on and is held in place with two furnished set-screws. . You can find them in our K1200S Product Section, our K1200GT Product Section, K1200R Product Section. For a Factory Brake Lever vs Hornig Brake Lever Extender Comparison.. Click Here..

7. Rare Sale Notice: We rarely mention sales in our on-line newsletter.. Those are usually exclusively included in the subscriber version of our cheesy newsletter. Well...heres an exception. We just got a large shipment of 30mm Verholen K1200RS Bar Risers from Germany by mistake.. MY mistake.. and we're gonna mark them down to help get rid of them rather than return them. Retail is usually $140 delivered.. While our surplus lasts we're discounting them by $40 a pair to an unprecedented $100 delivered...You won't find a pair of RS risers anywhere for that price. While they last! These will fit ANY model year BMW K1200RS.

8. I just added a Evoluzione Race Airflow Kit for the 2006-2007 K1200GT to our product line..This kit is cheaper than the K1200S or R kits because it has only 1 filter where the other kits have 2...I think the tech guys told me the GT kit has only one filter because of lack of room under her panties...er. plastic. The GT performance kit adds a few more ponies and allows the motor to "breathe" easier. The easily installed kit incorporates the aforementioned single high performance air filter that is mounted with a billet 6061-t6 bracket. This kit typically shows an additional 3-4 rear wheel hp along with providing crisper throttle response. Also important... the filters utilize a cotton gauze material that can be cleaned & reused. Fits the 2006-2007 BMW K1200GT. We're waiting for word from Ken at Evoluzione as to if the kit will fit the 2008 models. Retail is $170.US to your door/cave/cell. Our first shipment should be in within a week..

Click Here For Larger View.. If You Dare!

K12 Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2008

Texas Hill Country K12 Roundup : April 21-24 , 2008 (Contributed by our good buddy, Sir Tim Hudspeth aka CBNFVR over at www.I-BMW.com )

The River Inn Resort in Hunt, Texas is on the banks of the Guadalupe river. Lodging is limited, so book early to guarantee a room. You can secure your reservation with AMEX, MasterCard or Visa....7 day cancellation policy..

What: THCR. A gathering of K12's (and lessor bikes) in the Hill Country west of San Antonio, Texas
Dates: Monday thru Thursday, April 21-24, 2008 (arrive Monday - leave Friday)
Location: Hwy 39 near Hunt - 22 miles from Hwy 83
Lodging: River Inn Resort in Hunt, Texas
Please call 1-800-841-0501 and talk with Cindy, Michelle, or Brenda and tell them you are with the BMW motorcycle group. (No on-line reservations available) Call Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm cst. Sat. and Sun. 9am to 4pm cst., only. A one bedroom is $55.00 plus tax, some do have sofa sleepers. They all have a refrigerator and microwave.
Agenda: Meet. Ride. Talk, Eat. Ride. Talk.

REGISTRATION INFO & WAIVER (Downloadable at www.I-BMW.com)
Complete both forms and return to:
James Myrick
5825 Meandering Road
River Oaks, Texas 76114-2812

Checks should be made payable to ........ James Myrick
This years registration (includes 3 meals) is $50.00 per person.

Deadline for liability wavier and registration will be on April 4th. There will be no late registration or paying for dinners at the Roundup.

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Blue Ridge Parkway K12 Rally: May 15th - 18th, 2008 (Contributed by our good buddy, Sir Tim Hudspeth aka CBNFVR over at www.I-BMW.com )

Looks like the Snowshoe people have decided to let our bunch of miscreants inhabit the Inn at Snowshoe for BRPR 2008 (BRPW = Blue Ridge Parkway Rally). This is a confirmed event. I'm already booked.

Location: Inn at Snowshoe , Snowshoe, West Virginia
Reservations: 1 877 441-4386 , Mention "BMW Motorcycle Group - 5071OE" 40 rooms are held for us until 4-11-2008. After that any remaining rooms are available to the general public. The rate is 79 per night (plus taxes).
Amenities: Bar, jacuzzi, walk to beverage store, walk to gas or groceries, restaurant on site, pool. Each room has a TV and phone. Some have a fridge.
Sat Lunch: River Place, downtown Marlinton
Fri-Sat evening meals At the Inn or walk to the Deli a few hundred feet away! No riding required. (Note: There is no organized meal. (i.e. Pay as you go. Go when you wish.)
Links: http://www.pocahontas.org/

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2008 I-BMW Sierra Goldrush K12 Rally (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com )

Westward ho!!Looks like the very first west coast I-BMW.com K12 rally is in the works and it's about freakin' time! (see blurb above for the latest details! )

Dates: September 14th through 18th, 2008
Location: Angels Camp/Sonora area... to be determined.

This area is the gateway to Yosemite and many spectacular Sierra passes. There are many details to work out, and more information will be forthcoming in the months ahead. Mark your calendars! Details to follow!

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Deals Gap K12 Rally: Sept 25-28th 2008 (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com )

Well.. the last K12 rally of the year will again be at the Tapoco Lodge at Deal's Gap. Dates are set for Thursday Sept 25th - Sunday 28th. It won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!! This'll be the last K12 Rally of 2008, my friends. Be there or forever regret it like the time you blew that chance with those twins because you misread the subtle signals they were giving you..

Call NOW to reserve a room...!

Friday noon meal (12-1:00pm) will be at the Troll Restaurant in Helen, Ga (under the bridge)
Saturday noon meal (12-1:00 pm) will be at the Bistro, Telico Plains, Tennessee (western end of the Cherohala)

As usual, Fri and Sat evening will consist of tall tales, videos worthy of "Americas Most Wanted", and food in the Lodge. No set times.

Alternate Lodging in Robbinsville, NC. Microtel Motel.
Closest dealer (err, one in Knoxville yet?) Touring Sport BMW Greenville, SC

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How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

Our last contribution?? Check out # 132 contributed by contributed by
Gil Davis, Buena Park, CA .!!! Thx dude!!

Could this tip save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive on your Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

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BMW How-To Section

We have a new one this month...contributed by Sir Rich Edwards.. He documented his '07 K1200GT Oil Change in pictures. It's the first listing on the page. Thx, Rich.

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues