'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Around the 1st or
15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy
newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S/R
world and of course... Pirates' Lair.
How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have
these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at email@example.com .. otherwise you'll
get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth
as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my
opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult,
or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they
blatantly deserve it.
The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: February 2006 Issue
|Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the day.....|
|Dutch's words resonate in the air... "He uses the trees." Billy and Ramirez stare up, a wave of fear passing through them.. Dutch turns, moving to where Dillon is guarding Anna, sitting on the ground. Reaching down, Dutch pulls her firmly to her feet, looking at her intensely.|
What did you see? No more games.
rendezvous is ten maybe twelve miles, at most! We're almost home. and
the chopper won't wait.
Dutch .. Arnold Schwarzenegger / Dillon.. Carl Weathers/ Anna... Elpidia Carrillo / Predator / 1987
News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!
www. I-BMW.Com : It's Alive.. It's Alive.. It's Alive!!
Breaking News! Feb 1st / Looks like the death notices of www.I-BMW.com were greatly exaggerated. We just received word from the the Lord Humungus himself.. Vic Salemme..The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Roller that within the next 48 hours, the original K12 chat site will be back up and operating on all 4 cylinders. WooHoo!!
And if that isn't enough to get your panties wet, we hear that the new site will have the support of former administrators & moderators (all fresh out of rehab) who are back onboard to ensure success , patronage, and assimilation. Further, we hear that 6,000 + emails will be routing to former members as of Feb 1 proclaiming the wood-giving news. Looks like it's gonna be a good year for all K12'ers. Stop in and join the party at www.I-BMW.com
Congrats to Vic and the gang and best wishes for a long run. See ya there. I'll be wearing white.
of a Lessor God? So.. You Want to Be a Faster Rider??
If you are regularly getting beat on curvy roads or you just have a small penis and you think more hp is the solution to all your problems, you are sadly misguided and doomed to dwell in the back of the pack looking at somebody elses' tail light and savoring his/her exhaust fumes. Any moron with a fat wallet and a wrist can pull the trigger in a straight line if drag racing affirms your ego, but riding fast in the curves takes actual skill and knowledge which most of us can't completely comprehend on our own no matter how many decades we've been pushing the two-wheeled envelope.
|Up until I started doing track days last year I thought I was a corner-carving god, but I learned quickly after a few days on the track that while I'm a pretty fast rider, I had a LOT to learn even after 35 years of "serious" sport riding. It became instantly clear to me that my limitations on the street (or on a track) was NOT my bike. It was me. Sure.. a heaping engine full of wood giving ponies is fun in the straights and if you live in Florida or Missouri.. that's fine, but if you are like me and live to ride the curves.. HP has very little to do with how fast you go. So where am I going with this?? Glad you asked. Do you want to become a faster, safer rider in just 2 short days? Sure you do, but how??. Well ...after you've read the definitive book on going fast... Keith Code's "A Twist of the Wrist" you can check out the 2006 schedule which just came out for Keith Code's California Superbike School and sign up for some lessons. I've signed up for their 2 day class in June 1st-2nd at the Barber Motorsports Park near Birmingham. The 2-Day Camp runs $2150 and they furnish bikes, food, knowledge, and hopefully scantily clad umbrella girls with firm pouting young breasts. Come out and join me! Remember.. On a curvy road, it's not the size of your engine that matters.... it's the skill of the rider... God given or otherwise.|
Pirates' Lair vs Johnson Nugroho: My Indonesian White Whale
Captain Ahab: " I'll follow him around the Horn, and around the Norway maelstrom, and around perdition's flames before I give him up. "
In the last few weeks I've had a number of foreign customers ask us after checking out our order page why we don't ship to Indonesia but virtually everywhere else on earth.. I don't want to get off an a rant here but here's the tale of woe and an explanation of why we will NEVER ship to Indonesia. About 4 years ago we were approached via email by an Indonesian named Johnson Nugroho who wanted to buy some Garmin GPS units for his electronics store. He admitted up front he wasn't a motorcyclist but told us he didn't have a source for Garmins so we agreed to ship him a few units. His credit card checked out.. he had the 3 digit security code.. all info matched.. our on-line gateway service threw up no red flags so we thought we were safe and secure from fraud.
shipped Mr Nugroho $30,000 worth of equipment over a 3 week period.
At about the same time, we started getting numerous requests for all
kinds of electronic equipment from Indonesians all over Indonesia. Hmmm.
Amber and I started to get paranoid so we made a few calls. Rather than
call our on-line credit card gateway service which had already confirmed
the cards were valid, we called the foreign banks that had actually
issued the cards. Some in France, Germany, and the UK... As it turns
out.. all the credit cards were valid.. and NOT reported stolen.. and
owned by Europeans... NOT Indonesians. The real card owners were unaware
that their numbers had been stolen or being used until their statements
started coming in at the end of the month.. with massive charges from
Pirates' Lair. Bottom line.. we were out a lofty $30K, this thief had
the product, and we had virtually no legal recourse. This happened 2
days before our wedding and planned honeymoon. We had to cancel virtually
all of our honeymoon plans, my daughter had to drop out of college (temporarily),
and Pirates Lair almost went under. Lesson learned. The amazing part
of this story is that Johnson Nugrohu is
still operating his international scam operation using the same e-mail
address. Even after 4 years, I still send him the foulest smelling emails
a "steamed" mind can conjure virtually every week. Occasionally
I still get a response.. Here's one I got last week in response to a
particularly ugly one from me... . "fuck
you Christians...Iraq will kill your country"
Captain Ahab: Blacksmith...er...fellow motorcyclists. I set ye a task. Take these harpoons and lances. Melt them down. Forge me new weapons that will strike deep and hold fast. But do not douse them in water; they must have a proper baptism. What say ye, all ye men? Will you give as much blood as shall be needed to temper the steel?
Product Review: Corbin K1200S Seat and Smuggler.. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Truth
Anyone that knows me will tell you I've never been a fan of Corbin products. I slam them more often than not due to their criminally insane prices and poor fitting products. Actually, like Woody Allen movies or Journey music, it's kind of a love/hate relationship. I admire Corbins quickness of designs and innovation but abhor the poor execution and inattention to detail. A few years ago, my 98 KRS came with a Corbin seat but I immediately sold it due to the weight and poor fit. As a passenger.. Amber hated it.
A couple of months ago I brought home a 2006 K1200S, but only after seeing the Corbin Smuggler mounted on one. It just completed the bike "visually" in my eyes. The Smuggler is just too attractive to pass up plus I needed a backrest for Amber. So after a lot of financial soul searching I sucked it up and paid the lofty $1300+ for the 2 piece K1200S seat, a backrest (with Carbon Fiber backing), and an unpainted Smuggler. I ordered my seat to be 1" lower than the factory seat for comfort and got $100 off for ordering the Smuggler unpainted.
The customer service guy on the phone was very knowledgeable and helpful. He took a full 20 minutes making sure I got exactly what I needed/wanted/desired. He noted every detail.. cover material, height of the seat, cover for the backrest, etc.. Very thorough.
The Good: Upon receipt of the products, the packing was the best I'd seen. The quality of construction of each part is immediately apparent.. Material and workmanship looks first class. Even the soft gray material inside the Smuggler housing is very nice. I read through the install instructions and realized install is much easier than I'd feared.. Only one bracket to install which takes all of 2 minutes. Cool. Once the bracket is in place I installed the seat..
The Bad: First problem was the Carbon Fiber panel on the back of the backrest was scratched. These things happen so I called them and they offered to ship me a replacement at no charge. Cool! Had the replacement in a week. Second problem... the Smuggler section wouldn't lock onto the bike.. I realized after about 10 minutes of trying that the Corbin latch needed a spacer in order for the latch to reach down far enough to lock onto the bike. I had to fashion a spacer out of some handy sheet metal, drill some matching holes in it, and after about an hour it was working properly. A pisser, but I got er done. Third problem: Next I had the same problem with the rear seat section. Doh!?? It simply would NOT latch into place no matter how hard I pushed down on it. I spent a full 2 hours cutting and drilling spacers and never did make the latch long enough to reach to the locking mechanism. I had 1/8" of spacers and that was not enough compounded with the fact that I ran out of screw length.. What the f*@&?.
I called Corbin and told them what was happening and they nonchalantly informed me.. "this happens all the time" and that I should go buy longer screws and keep adding spacers.... I try to keep my cool and just tell the guy that for $1300+ I shouldn't have to do anything but sit my ass on it and ride and that I was shipping it back. I packed it up the same day and 3 day'ed in back to Kaleefornia. Cost $63. It's been 3 weeks now and have yet to see the tweaked part. But that's not the end of this weepy story. A few days after the anger had died down to Defcon 2, I decided to sit on the front seat section to see how it felt.. I immediately realized that it was NOT lowered as ordered. I measured and it was EXACTLY the same height as the stock seat.. 33 3/4" while on the center stand. Doh! After my 3rd call, I got another RA# and shipped the second section back at MY expense.. To make matters worse, they refused to either express ship the returned parts at their cost or refund the return shipping $$ to my card..!! OK.. $1300+ for the complete kit.. Return shipping charges for both pieces...$90+. My anger.. priceless.
The Ugly Truth: My initial impression of Corbin has not changed. I will continue to slam them to anyone that asks and for good reason. The fit to the bike of this godawful expensive product is/was poor and unforgivable. Their pricing is criminal. Have heard similar stories from other K1200S owners so my experience is not just a fluke. While the look of the seat is visually pleasing and it may actually be comfortable if I ever get to use it and the design of the Smuggler is stunning, there should be no issues with fit from a company that has been doing this for years. I am NOT impressed.. In fact.. I'm angry.. Can you tell? Will post a follow up as to how the seat actually performs if I ever get to use it...
2006 BMW MOA International Rally News: Look Out Vermont
It's about time BMW MOA staff chose a rally site worth actually riding to. Many probably remember me ranting about the choice of the last site... Hell..er.. I mean Ohio.. Geezz.. That was like choosing Lake Michigan for a premier surfing event. What were they thinking? Looks like somebody done good as the 2006 rally will be in scenic Vermont. Check out the 2006 Offical Rally Website for info as to lodging, etc or get the inside scoop from our peers as to who's going, what to bring, where to stay at the Official Rally Chat Site/Forum
I'd suggest you register and book a room or campsite for the rally as soon as you can. Pre-registration is from April 1 - June 30, 2006. On-line registration will start on April 1, 2006.
/ $30 U.S Adults and/or $5 U.S Children
Note: There will be NO day passes.
Review: Stebel Magnum Horn Review and Sound Byte
Unlike the RS, my new S has very little room under the plastic for dual Fiamms. We've been selling the hell out of them to S guys but now that I've gotten in there I honestly don't know how these guys are doing it without David Copperfield-like magic. After about 40 minutes of fruitless brainstorming, I gave up trying to figure out where to place TWO horns and instead, bought myself one of the new Stebel Magnum horns. While I bought mine out of Germany the package says it's manufactured in Italy. Whatever.. Unlike the dual tone Fiamms, the Magnum is a single horn with a claimed 136dB that just bolts directly to where the factory horn is located. Easy enough.
First.. the install was relatively easy. Took about an hour. As the plastic is already off my bike for painting, timing was perfect. First I had to unclip the motronic box just opposite the factory horn and move that out of the way. I removed the one bolt that holds the factory horn on then unplugged it. The Magnum bolted back to the same spot using a furnished bracket. I had to drill out the hole just a bit to make it easier to bolt on. One thing I should note. The Magnum is twice the size of the factory horn so you install it from below or above to get it into place. There are only two wires coming off the factory horn which after some splicing connects directly to the Magnum.
Check out my cheesy
video link below for a sound byte. I didn't even try to make this look
professional nor scientific .. just did it to give you an idea of the
difference.. FYI.. I set up the camera exactly 6ft from the horns. Turn
your speakers up a bit and you'll get an idea. and yes.. One of these
links should work...
Personally.. I was hoping for dual Fiamm loudness but it wasn't to be. Yes.. it is louder and deeper than stock horn but I don't think it's 136dB and I wonder if an SUV will discern the difference before taking my lane. Perhaps I was expecting too much. Amber came down into the shop and she thinks the Magnum is substantially louder and as her ears haven't been ruined by years of seriously loud rock music or 20+ years of riding motorcycles without earplugs like mine, her opinion is probably more valid. There are quite a few frequencies that I just don't hear any more. Overall, I'd guess the loudness is about right in between the factory horn and a good pair of Fiamms.. I could be wrong. I'll withhold further comment until I try the horn side-by-side with another S. Do I feel safer? Yes... but just by a little...
What's New In the K1200RS/GT/S/R No-Spin Zone
note that as the RS and GT have been discontinued, I receive less and less
news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers
have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's
going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS
crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with
1. Looking for a cheaper alternative oil filter for your K1200RS or GT? Want to take precious profit money from your local extortionists...er.. dealer? Sure you do...
Fram oil filter # PH6063 will fit every model year K1200RS/GT and LT at less than 1/2 the price as a factory oil filter. Got another motorcycle and need a filter? Check out Frams motorcycle oil filter parts PDF.
got some scratches on your silver K1200S wheels? Some overpaid moron at
the local dealership scratch them while changing a tire. If he hasn't..
he will. Here's where you can buy touch up paint... Click
Here. It's a two part process with a clear coat over the silver base.
3. Worry about your kickstand sinking into hot pavement, dirt, or sand? Don't we all.. This place offers wider feet for your stand... This larger than stock size base Fat Foot increases the size of the side stand footprint. A small amount of cornering clearance is lost.
4. Regarding the all new ZTechnik K1200S and R Exhaust Full Systems...we just had confirmation that the Z4031 full system WILL NOT work with the optional BMW center stand.
5. My 15 minutes declined? Yep... Recently I was approached by a TV show production company that works for Speedvison. They wanted to film a segment about Pirates' Lair. I told them "No. There's enough crap on TV already .. Not interested."
6. Pack Parts of Germany, the apparent carbon fiber kings of the K1200S and K1200R crowd just added an adjustable torque arm (they call it a reaction bar.) The Pack Parts adjustable arm fits both the K1200R and K1200S. In case you're curious, the stock arm has a length of 415mm. The adjustment range of this bar is 405/415/425/435 mm. They suggest it's for track only use! Looks damn nice..!! Price looks to be about 278.288 US + shipping.
7. Own a K1200S or R and tired of being humbled by Lear Jets? or having sand kicked in your face my Lambo's. How about a Turbocharger for your bike?? Can you handle 250hp? Sure you can. I don't speak enough German to discern details but it looks like theres a prototype Turbocharger kit being produced by the German company MAB. Lots of pictures by Clicking Here
8. If the thought of bugs and debris clogging your K1200R oil cooler is giving you the cold sweats or causing impotence.. there may be a solution for you. There's a company called Bug-Guards for Beemers that has an oil cooler guard kit for your bike. The K1200R kit contains a powder coated black, aluminum mesh screen that attaches directly to the oil cooler via Velcro and removes in seconds for cleaning. I received a sample K1200R kit that is now in the field being evaluated.. Quality looks first rate and they claim that air-flow is not affected... Cost for the R kit is $29.95...Looks like a good way to protect your life giving cooling fins..If interested you can contact Gene Sweeney, Jr (the manufacturer) at 410.608.4972 EST or see their ad in BMWON magazine.
9. This just in from good buddy Kevin Demers @ the Gizmo Mill .. makers of the waaay cool Brake LED Kits regarding his newest version for the BMW K1200S/R
long last, we are finally shipping the Brake! LED Taillight kits for the
for your ongoing patience as we battled all the BMW gremlins (and won)."
10. Clear Alternatives will soon release their clear and smoked front blinker lenses for the K1200S to the market. Retail looks to be about $65.US. They are in production.
11. Thinking about installing Clear Lenses on the front of your K1200S? If you do you'll need/want/desire bulbs that also look clear to the outside world. So what do you do? The K1200S uses a 921 wedge-type front bulb.. at least that's what matched up at Pep Boys. Anyway I found Chrome type bulbs here. The company, Autolumination.com also has a new bulb called a "Chrome Dome" that has just the tip in chrome. These new bulbs, according to them are 40% brighter than the all chrome bulb, but looks chrome through the clear lens. The bulbs are also CHEAP $4.00 each. (as seen at www.K-bikes.com)
12. Skidmarx located in the UK has introduced a range of bolt-on accessories for the BMW K1200S. Looks like they have a dark tinted double bubble windshield, a hugger, and a headlight cover. The site is lacking and gives virtually no decent pics or information.
LASER now has a full exhaust system
available for the K1200R/S. They guarantee 8.5 HP more.There are three
14. If anyone is curious... the carbon fiber pattern of ZTechnik's products matches the carbon fiber pattern of Pack Parts. Mix and match to your hearts content. Definitive proof that there is a God.
15. Need protection? While we hate covering up our toy with rubber... it really is a good idea. Looking for a tank protector and/or knee pads for your K1200S? Don't like the look of carbon fiber... Here's an alternative from our good friends at Nippy Normans (located in the UK). The pads are German made with 3M adhesive for secure fitment. The soft rubber tank pads are designed specifically for each model to provide the correct combination of styling and function.
16. Secedem (in France) makes aftermarket windshields for both the K1200R and S, but I had zero luck in contacting them to order or set up an account. I suspect they simply don't like Americans.. who knows. Just heard that a Canadian company is importing them.
17. BMW of Santa Cruz has some very cool looking K1200R gauge visors made of billet aluminum on their website. l that make it easier to see your gauges in daylight. They simply attach to the instrument panel with a bit of commonly available, clear silicone. Cost $140.
18. Have a look at Boxer Design's web site. They've added some new stuff for the K1200R including an oil cooler cover, new belly pan that is center stand compatible, and clutch cover.
19. You K1200R owners thinking about track days should seriously consider frame sliders. Just found out that San Jose BMW now has what they are calling a Frame Protection Package which consists of 5 parts, two for the front forks two for the frame and one for the final drive unit. The price is something like $200.00. Here's a link to a pic of the frame slider kit. These are about the most boring looking sliders I've seen but they look strong and functional. (as seen at www.K-Bikes.com)
What's New at Pirates' Lair?
|1. My first in-house design project for the K1200S/R is complete and in stock. The Pirates' Lair "K1200S Stealth Radar Detector Mount" is even sleeker than the ZTechnik TechMount that we also sell although mine is not adjustable. The all aluminum stealth mount fits the K1200S, K1200R, R1200GS, and R1200ST. My mount slides over and locks down onto the left side clutch reservoir cap via two set screws. Supremely sleek and functional, it looks factory on any bike. The powder coated black mount installs in under 2 minutes offering a perfect, level platform for mounting virtually any radar detector on the market (V1, Passport, or Bel) or makes a very compact place to roll joints. Once installed, your detector will be out of the wind, NOT block any gauges, and will be perfectly visible from the saddle. Have you noticed that your brake reservoir cover is a full 1" higher than the clutch reservoir? Once my mount is in place with a radar detector installed, visually things now balance out the handlebar area...Price is a very wallet friendly $45 delivered.. almost 1/2 what the Z mount costs.. Insert gushing accolades here, please. Web page should be up any day or to order just call Amber at 828.628.7093 EST|
We just received our first shipment of carbon fiber K1200S parts from
Pack Parts of Germany. Quality is simply the best I've seen.. Hence
the lofty prices. Our first shipment included the K1200S Inner Fairing Wings
and the Battery Cover. Web page is up at http://pirateslair.net/PackParts1.htm
and the REALLY good news is.. We have a massive shipment on it's way from
Germany with almost everything Pack Parts carries for the S.. Lower Cowlings,
full CF gas tank covers, huggers, front fenders, clutch covers, O, my!.
Will upgrade to the new web page as soon as the shipment arrives with a
listing for all the items and prices. No pre-orders, please.
3. Hallelujah!! Praise Crom!! We now have the long awaited Brake LED Kits for the K1200S and K1200R In Stock. If you've ever seen the RS version kits you'll probably agree that they are simply the best, brightest, and sleekest way to light up your tail end of any accessory on the market. This little unit goes INSIDE of your factory tail light. Plug-N-Play. Pictures and video to come. If you've already done the install.. please send pics!!
5. A have a few custom K1200S wiring harness' that plug into the battery and then to your factory accessory socket to by-pass the current shutoff feature in stock. Essentially, once installed you'll be able to use your accessory socket as it should be used.. With any aftermarket accessories..Battery Tender, vests, chaps, electric gloves, etc... NOT just BMW brand products. The harness looks factory and is plug-n-play. Here's my install. This will be a "seasonal" offering, me thinks and only a handful are available. Cost is $45 delivered in the US. We sell them for a buddy of ours and do NOT make a penny on them.
6. Just got a K1200RS/GT Cam Kit page up These kits fit both the RS and GT.. all years... Early and late model versions just like a chip. What do you get with one of these kits besides the hardware, a chip, and board... Low-end Torque out the ying-yang. In a word.. impressive. FYI... The kit is designed for bikes with the stock exhaust ONLY. Se comprende?
Alternatives will soon release their front blinker lenses in both
clear and smoked for the K1200S and we'll have them at http://pirateslair.net/ClearlensS.htm
8. We just confirmed that the Sato Rearsets we sell for the MV Agusta F4 also fit every model year Brutale!! All you Brut owners can now go forth unto the world... rejoice and sing.. as the news is good.
9. Lest I forget... We also have a large shipment of Carbon Fiber coming from Ilmberger Carbonparts of Germany including a complete K1200S tail section (that surrounds the tail light) and some lower cowlings that ARE centerstand compatible. Expect those in about 4 weeks.
|10. After looking high and low (but enough about my drug usage) for an alternative for those criminally priced, ugly, sissy, factory K1200S saddlebags I hit the mother lode with RKA Soft Saddlebags from RKA Motorcycle Luggage. Not only do they have 2 versions that look sleek on the K1200S, cost hundreds less, and hold much more, but they come in a variety of colors. If they pass our anal testing we'll probably carry both the 56 liter expandable bag and a smaller 35 liter expandable SuperSport bag. Both sizes of saddlebags use wide hook and loop fasting system for easy on and off. Cam buckles are used front and rear keep the bags stable under heavy acceleration and braking. Comfortable for your passenger and out of the way of high pipes or so they say. Rain covers will be standard. Looks like the price will be $180.US / 35liter & $220.US./ 56liter In the next few weeks, I'll be evaluating/flogging a pair to see if they work as good as they look. Fingers crossed. Stay tuned.|
Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2006
BMW MOA International Rally News: Look Out Vermont (see info
and pic above)
Blue Ridge Parkway Rally (Contributed
by man about town, Tim (CBNFVR) Hudspeth over at www.K-Bikes.com
2006 Hill Country Rally !! !
weather the past four years has been fantastic - clear skies and lots
of sunshine! (Well, maybe just a little rain........and hail in '04 and
the little freezing weather in '03!) Average temperature in Kerrville
at this time of year is 79 degrees for the high and 54 degrees for the
low, but come prepared. April is also the perfect time to view the spectacular
wildflowers in the area."
The 7th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally ...(sponsored by www.I-BMW.com) is already scheduled and will again be held at the Tapoco Lodge at the end of September 2006. ... Sept 28-30th to be precise. This year every room was booked so I suggest you make reservations NOW just to make sure. You can always cancel if you can't make it. Be there!! Simply the best time of year to be in the mountains. Virtually perfect weather the last 5 years.
On A Motorcycle
If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive on your Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.
Thanks to a new contribution from Sir Mitch Courte of Ft. Myers, FL , I have expanded on a link we've had up for a while. If you are planning on installing bar risers on your K1200S or R..check out our How-To page at http://www.pirateslair.net/svriserinstall.htm