"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around the 1st or 15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S/R world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it. Also... something to keep in mind... My language in the email subscription version may offend the meek. Subscribe at your own risk. The on-line version is a bit more... PC..

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment. So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: August 2008 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the month.....

As McClane and his charge (Matt Farrell one of the top hackers in the US) make it to Washington, D.C .. the East coast is in total chaos. telecommunications signals.. rail transport .. air traffic control. All down. After arriving at the temporary FBI office, Matt recognizes what is happening after seeing pictures of fellow hackers.. all killed within the last 24 hours.. posted on the office wall. On the monitors a pirated signal broadcasts a message threatening the nation, using spliced video clips of the last twelve presidents...Matt is in disbelief..

Matt: Jesus Christ. It's a fire sale.
McClane: What?
Matt: It's a fire sale.
FBI Director Miguel Bowman: Hey! We don't know that yet.
FBI Agent: ...and it's a myth anyway. It can't be done.
Matt : Oh, it's a myth? Really? Please tell me she's only here for show and she's actually not in charge of anything.
McClane: What's a fire sale?
Matt: It's .. it's a four-step systematic attack on the entire national infrastructure. Okay, step one: take out all the transportation. Step two: the financial base and telecoms. Step three: You get rid of all the utilities. Gas, water, electric, nuclear. Step four... and the most insidious.. terminate all access to the Pirates' Lair Cheesy Newsletter! Pretty much anything that's run by computers which... which today is almost everything. So that's why they call it a fire sale, because everything must go.
McClane: Those cheese stealing bastards!

Matt Farrell /  Justin Long    John McClane / Bruce Willis...   Live Free or Die Hard.. (2007)

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

Picture Of The Month! A Jersey View That Doesn't Suck! (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our Aug POTM was contributed by Bill Gawarkiewicz.. aka BillG, (one of the usual suspects over at www.I-BMW.com) The shot was taken about 8 AM on Sussex County NJ RT 649. It's in the north west corner of NJ. RT 649 is less then 2 miles long and starts in Beemerville NJ. I don't think the farm is in Beemerville but it's just outside of it.

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT and B. In focus.

Click For Larger Image If You Dare..
Click Image for a Larger View
Hi-Rez is fine just not "stupid-large." If you don't know how to reduce a photo from a gargantuan size.. buy a freakin' book or program and learn. Geezz. Along with the photo, provide your full name and a paragraph or two explaining when and where the shot was taken.. some minor details...whatever you want to add.. temp, camera, state of mind, etc, .. I'll evaluate all the photos I accumulate at the end of the month and pick one. No promises! If you beg me to post yours.. that will guarantee you that I won't. Savvy?

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ESA Rebuild by Works Performance: "Gentlemen, We Can Rebuild Them. We have the Technology"

Forget that your local extornioniest...er.. dealer has been telling you that you can not rebuild the foofoo fancy ESA shocks on your K1200S or K1200GT. As usual.. he is wrong. The good news is.. we just heard from our quasi-esteemed correspondent Hector (aka HDF.. moderator over at www.I-BMW.com) who was in Garmish, Germany for the BMW Biker meet and after a long discussion with the boys from WP Performance Shocks ( builders of the ESA shocks for the K series bikes), he got the following dope... .

WP can rebuild the ESA shocks on the K series bikes. They cannot on the R series. They said that the internet rumor that this was not possible is false. Price would be about 200-250 euros for the rebuild - change seals, oil, gas. If you want new, stiffer springs, that would be about 105 euros for each. That's 200-250 for rebuild of both, plus 105 for each new spring so its more like 450 euros. . Turnaround is about 10 days if you send them via post. That is great news.

One last bit of interesting stuff. They said that they had created an original set up for the suspension that was really great and that all of the BMW bike testers loved ("no BMW bike has ever handled like this before" was the quote they said). Problem is the marketing department at BMW nixxed that set up as too stiff and not very BMW, so they softened it up a bit. Good thing is that they still have the set up parameters at WP and if you ask them to put this in (I assume it implies putting in the new, stiffer springs) they will gladly do so.

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Product Review: Quat-D Slip-On's for Ducati 1098 / The Hills Are Alive With the Sound Of Music

Raise yours hands if you like the sound of Ducatis? I'd imagine that about 98% of the motorcycling populace love the unique exhaust note of the Italian twins and if you're like me, few things honk BoBo's nose like a great sounding motorcycle. It's in our genetic makeup.

When I bought my 1098 a month ago I knew I would add some slip-ons and virtually everyone advised me to buy Termis..Most of my Duc owning homies have Termis and they do sound damn good, but like my sexual needs.... I like things a little different..Almost went with the Akro's which are visually stunning, but my inner demons forced me to take a chance with the Italian made Quat-D's from Motowheels. It was the best decision I've made since buying the bike. After my first ride with them installed, I have to say.. it's now one of the best sounding motorcycles I've ever heard.. period..

When I first started it up I thought it might just be a little too loud as I ordered mine without the silencers... but once on the road... these things make music that would make Julie Andrews wet ... The sound is absolutely intoxicating. Deep and throaty.. Hard to describe.. The ONLY comparison that comes to mind is Steve McQueens 427 Mustang in "Bullet" except about 2 octaves lower..

As for quality..While I was told they are made with high-end materials (including magnesium) and they look very "clean " .. they don't seem any better made than anything else I'd looked at including Termis or Akros.. Install was easy enough although mine, once installed, aren't 100% symmetrical in the rear.. the right one is I'd guess 1-2 degrees off which is virtually unnoticeable unless you are looking for it, but I admit.. I'm on the far side of anal. I spoke with another guy that has these and his are the same way. Carbon Fiber quality is about average or slightly above.. Comparable with the Termis.. maybe slightly less shiny than the Akros.. The length is perfect. The cheesy stickers are removable. Price (I just heard) was about to go up to around $1500.US

....but the sound..aaah.. Music to my ears... .Thx to the guys at Motowheels for the great service and useful advice..

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German Bike Rental Company From Hell: AllRound Moto

I got the following humorous review from my buddy Rich who works for Dragonfly Interactive, LLC. He just returned from Germany and wanted to share his painful experience with the bike rental company from hell...He says.. " if your looking for a company NOT to rent a bike in Munich, AllRound Moto are the guys. Poorly set up bike (to the point of being dangerous), used gear that has never been washed and stored in a basement, plus a GPS that wouldn't accept the street name of the rental location, and they charged us for 8 hours that we didn't use!! And to top it all off: all for over $360 a day!"

The place in Munich is called AllRound Moto and is located on Boschetsriederst 12 in Munch. If you go to their Website, you’d think they’re a big player with tons of bikes, cars, etc. Turns out it’s just two people working out of their house/garage and it’s an old run down house at best. Also keep in mind that Ad-Moto (another big Website in Europe) sub contracts rentals to them as well.

We get there and no one is there despite office hours till 6pm. Guy arrives at 4pm rushes EVERYTHING! At one point I had to tell him “listen, slow down, I need to know what I’m signing here”, but he was obviously in a huge hurry to be somewhere else.

AllRound Rocks!

Once the paperwork is signed we proceed to the basement which was an old, smelly dungeon of a room with literally just a small desk lamp for the entire room. Imagine trying to try on gear and helmets with no light? My wife, who’s very sensitive to neck pains, had trouble getting a helmet that fit, and having him rush us wasn’t any help. She ended up settling for this crappy, scratched up helmet that ended up falling down on her face. Not exactly the safest thing in the world. On top of that, everything smelled like BO, nothing was washed.

We proceed out to the bike, which ended up to be a late model R1200ST in good cosmetic shape. A few quick instructions about oil and that’s about it. Then he throws on this old aftermarket GPS and basically said “I don’t really know how it works, here’s a manual”. The unit ended up being just a basic triangle and rough lines for roads. I’d say about 3 years behind the curve. Plus, it was HUGE, blocked half the gauges. We were also promised some good route sheets in the Alps. Ended up getting a sheet a paper with a Xeroxed map to Fussen and back. Wipdie f%@*in doo!

So we take off, and the first thing I notice is that this thing is as smooth as a bucket of rusty nails. It just bucked really bad after every shift, just couldn’t not ease it into gear! The thing just wanted to die under 3000. Our lovely $20 Euro a day GPS was nice enough to miss our exit to the A95, which put us right in the middle of rush hour Munich traffic. Two hours of bucking and crappy shifting (plus the 90 degree heat and no ventilation on our jackets) resulted in the bike overheating. We had to pull over for an hour to cool it down.

Ended up getting to Fussen, but man, anytime we had to slow down in a village, the bucking was unbearable. Plus, the front end had absolutely zero feel to it. When we did hit some high speed curves, I had to get off the seat and through all of my weight on the clip ons, it was the only way to get it to steer! When we finally arrive I found that the pre load was turned ALL THE WAY OUT!!!!! There was absolutely zero pre load on the rear shock! How F’n dangerous is that!? Ended up cranking it some 20 turns to get it close to being right.

As bad the bike/rental thing was, the roads and scenery were amazing. Roads are absolutely perfect in condition, there is just no such thing as a pot hole in Germany. It’s clearly the best way to travel in this area, cause you really need a panoramic view to appreciate it. As for AllRound Moto.. avoid them at all costs.

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Yamaha FJR1300 Stealth Backrest : In Stock!

Our Yamaha FJR13 Stealth Backrest, the last backrest I'll ever design, is now on the menu. As per the holy prophesies, it has turned out, if I say so myself, to be a thing of beauty, simplicity, and comfort. Sales are brisk which puts wood in my pants and a smile on my face... but then again.. where else would a smile be?

The all stainless steel stealth bracket bolts directly to the rear 2006-08 factory rack via 3 furnished bolts and blends perfectly with the lines of the bike. Production versions are covered with rich Corinthian leath...er.. I mean a black Rhino coating (the same rubberized spray material seen in pick-up truck beds) that is both visually unobtrusive and also serves to protect the finish of the 2006-2008 factory FJR rack.

The backrest slides on and off the bike in under 10 seconds and without tools. Install of the FJR13 stealth rack takes a luded' out chimp all of 5 minutes. Tamper-proof mounting screws are included to deter walk-by thieving bastages. Our cover material matches the black FJR factory seat perfectly and if you have an aftermarket leather seat, we have a material to match that as well. Soft T-Bag luggage is also available for this and all our other backrests.The FJ13 Stealth backrest will fit the 2006-2008 FJ1300 Only.

Show me more, Captain!

What's New In the K1200S / K1200GT / K1200R / K1200RS No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and first generation GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. Garmin just released it's 2009 map update. Log in to their site, go to the Garmin Services page, select "my Maps" then to "map Downloads".. or check for the latest downloads for your specific GPS.. Some people will get the upgrade for free.. other lucky bastages (like myself) have to pay. It is a 2gb download so it is quite substantial in size but the server is pretty quick.

2. BMW, in a rare selfless gesture, is offering active or recently discharged members of the US Armed Forces discounts on any new motorcycle purchased from now until December 31st, 2008. The following discounts apply.. $500 off K-series, $400 off R-series, and $250 off of the G &/or F series.. For details on eligibility contact any dealer or go to www.BMWmotorcycles.com

3. They (and you know who they are) just announced the 2009 BMWMOA Intl Rally will be held in Johnson City, TN next July (Actually in Gray, TN at the Appalachian Fairgrounds off I-26) Been there. Not far from Pirates Lair..

4. In my article "BMW Quick Disconnects Warning: Be Afraid!" in our May 2008 Cheesy Newsletter I suggested that K1200RS and GT owners should check and possibly replace their factory fuel couplers as I've been getting reports from all over of them breaking, leaking, etc. I even had a few reports of fires!! Well.. I got this email a few days ago and thought I'd share.. " read your newsletter concerning the fuel couplers on the KRS's and got to thinking about my KRS. Knowing that I had not replaced those after 20k mi. with numerous 120mph+ runs in Mexico I thought to myself this might be worth looking into. Since it was time to drag it out from its winter hibernation anyway I ordered the couplers and on one sunny Saturday took my scooter apart. Well, all I can say is that I am your indentured servant for life. I barely touched one of them and it fell apart!!! Thinking about all the times I had rode her hard and put her away wet (the bike that is:), their was a moment of silence not to have been seen in a long time. So all you mates out there that have not done this PLEASE DO! And Captain Finley if you are on the West Coast and need your bike washed or a sitter for your lady (well maybe not the sitter part) please feel free to contact me. ..S. Higgins

5. New BMW 675 triple to complement the S1000? Rumor? Your guess is as good as mine. I've heard that BMW will probably introduce a 675cc, three-cylinder sportbike to complement the 1000cc four-cylinder S1000 superbike it announced a few weeks ago. Rumors are rife that some US bike dealers have also started taking bookings for the bike on their websites. We cannot confirm the web location though. The Triumph Daytona is the other 675 triple available in the market apart from the crop of Japanese 600s. The rumored BMW 675, if it becomes a reality will see production in the next two years.

6. For those of you K1200S and K1200R owners who bought one of Gizmo Mills Brake LED Kits and ended up with LAMPR failure problems.. here's a fix contributed by my good buddy, Sir Bill BathThe Problem: My Brake LED Taillight unit I bought for my K1200R went nuts today at the dealership after a fuel sending unit replacement forced calibration on "new" chassis computer software they just had to install. It continuously flashes the LAMPR fail indicator and the brake light itself flashes like an emergency flasher for about 15 sec. It then goes into a tail-light only mode and will not illuminate brake lights. Dealer resorted to reinstalling a standard taillight bulb to verify the bike itself is not at fault. My question is if you or any customers have experienced this and if so, is there a fix? Perhaps all that is needed is a resistor change (from the 75 ohms one) that is on the outside of the unit? If so, what value should I try? Or is this some deeper problem with the CAN bus no longer able to accommodate the BRAKE LED unit resistances after "upgrades".... Any help would be appreciated as I love (ed) the BRAKE LED taillight and hate the bulb....

The Fix : Just so you know in case anybody else with a K1200R or S experiences this, I spent some hours this weekend working the problem with my BRAKE ! Led assembly. What I found was that there was no fault in the BRAKE ! unit. It worked perfectly when tested off the bike. I tried unsuccessfully to substitute other "bypass" resistors for the 75 ohm one that was already installed outside the case on this unit. I tried a 50 ohm, 100 ohm and 10 ohm 10 watt ceramic wirewound resistors. 50 and 10 ohm worked for a short time (5 or 6 brake applications) before growing very hot and then triggering the LAMPR fail indication. 100ohm did not work at all to clear the problem. Taking out this external resistor that appears to me to jumper the tail-light power supply terminal to the brake-light power supply terminal did not help either. I then got frustrated with these resistance games and did what my mechanic suggested in the first place...just wire in parallel the original bulb and socket so you can swap out on the road in the event of failure. Voila, Eureka, and such...This works. The BRAKE ! unit functions perfectly and the original bulb provides the proper loads for the chassis computer software load. So now I just carefully tucked the "hot-spare" connector and bulb under the rear seat, being careful to keep it off any plastic and wiring there since the bulb gets hot. Thinking about why this works and the original crossover resistor no longer does, leads me to believe this "new" chassis computer software is looking for independent "loads" of the tail-light and brake-light circuits. If it sees one circuit feeding voltage to the other (as would be the case if a bulb filament failed and touched the other filament) it indicates a fault and reverts to just a tail-light. I suppose I could fiddle around and find two ideal resistors that would provide the proper loads for each light circuit when terminated to the ground, but this spare bulb using the original connector approach is easy, foolproof, and gives me a redundancy in case the BRAKE ! unit really does fail someday. If my ballast "bulb" fails, I will get a LAMPR and thus know to check and replace the bulb. Anyway, thanks for all you do to advance this "hobby" of ours... Bill Bath

7. If you own a second generation K1200GT and absolutely positively must have a larger platform for your Yeti-like feet.. Check out the Ilium Floorboards from Ilium Works. The driver floorboards locate your feet 1 3/4" lower than stock. The actual floorboards measure 9"x 4" and according to the Ilium website.. offer a variety of positions... Price is $425. FYI.. while I have NOT seen these up close and personal. I have seen other floorboards they make and they were top quality.

8. Yet another BMW dealer bites the big one. Touch Of Class Motorcycles in Phillipsburg, NJ just dropped BMW and is now just a Suzuki dealer. Aint dat a pisser.

9. Twisted Throttle (importer of the waaay cool GSG-Moto Framesliders) just raised the price of the K1200S version from $295 to a sphincter puckering $404.99. Damn!

What's New at Pirates' Lair?

1. We've been selling the Tech-Spec Gripster Kits to the K1200S, K1200R, and 05-08 K1200GT's for over a year now...Great product.. I have kits on all 3 of my bikes and honestly.. couldn't live without it. Well I got to thinking.. why don't I offer these to our 97-2004 K1200RS and 2003-05 K1200GT customers? Good question if I say so myself! Thanks!.. You're welcome! er.. Anyway.. I checked with Tech-Spec and they were already producing a kit for the RS, but only in a material called High-Fusion which I don't like..It kinda looks like a rubber sand paper. Fine for a Jap bike but not classy enough for a Beemer. I asked them to produce some kits for the K1200RS in the Snake-Skin material (which is what we have all our other kits produced in) and he agreed. Cool!

as for the benefits of the Tech-Spec Gripster Kits.. besides the obvious paint protection.. by gripping the tank with your legs, a rider can improve the overall control of a motorcycle, control of their body weight, and obtain a more positive seat position. Improved control of the riders body weight will help improve overall handling. Increased control equals a smoother, less fatigued, and more enjoyable ride with an added benefit of stronger, longer lasting erections. We have these In Stock!

Show me more, Captain!

2. After freakin' months of waiting, we just got a long overdue shipment of 5-piece Carbon Fiber Trim Kits for the BMW K1200R which includes the gauge panels and triple clamp inserts. This kit fits the "R" bike only. Price is a reasonable $80 delivered..

3. Don't shoot the messenger.. FYI we just had to raise the price of the K1200S GSG-Moto Framesliders from $295 to a lofty $405. Sorry mates.. I guess you could blame George Bush.

4. Last month I reported that both..ZTechnik and Two Brothers Racing had dropped their Full K1200RS Exhaust systems from their product line.. Well.. Now Remus just raised their prices on their K1200RS/GT full systems.. In case you didn't realize the implications.. Now there are only 2 options available for the venerable K1200RS.. The Remus and the painfully expensive Staintune.

5. We've just got our first shipment of RSC Linear Hyperpro Steering Dampers for the K1200RS, 03-05GT, and LT and kits for the Ducati 1098....We have the ever popular black version as well as Gunmetal and a wood inspiring Silver.. If you're thinking about buying a damper and you're not sure which to choose.. Just ask and I can probably clue you in..

6. We now have Clear REAR Blinker Lenses from Clear Alternatives for the K1200S, K1200R, BMW R1200R, R1200GS, 2005 K1200RS/GT, 04-05 R1150R. and yes.. of course we will now offer a package deal on a front and rear kit...

7.Yamaha FJR1300 Stealth Backrest Update: Drum Roll Please!! These are now in stock. WooHoo! (see blurb in top section)

8. We just got our first shipment of Ducati 1098 Front and Rear Wheel Nut Socket Wrench Tools from Oberon in the UK. This one socket tool can handle removal of both the small front and large rear wheel nuts ...

K12 Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2008

*I-BMW.com Track Day Weekend! Aug 16th-17th, 2008 (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com )

Woohoo! The first ever BMW K12 track day weekend has been arranged by a member of www.I-BMW.com . The event is almost booked so act now or forever hold your piece... The weekend is confirmed and reserved. If you are a member of I-BMW.com or just a mere mortal and are interested in attending this event you should visit the site for full details.. Here's some basic info...

When: August 16 & 17, 2008 (Saturday & Sunday)
Where: Roebling Road Race Track (Savannah, GA area)
Cost: 1 instructional group with 10 people. Cost is $250.00 per day. $500 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED! 1 non-instructional with 20 people. Cost is $150.00 per day. $300 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED!

I'll be attending with at least 2 bikes. I think about 50% of the attendees will be on BMW's.. the other 50% on other brand bikes.. Ducati, MV Agusta, Yamahonkawzuki, etc. Hope to see you there.. in my mirrors.

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Sierra Goldrush K12 Rally: Sept 14th-18th, 2008 (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com )

Westward ho!! Looks like the very first west coast I-BMW.com K12 rally is booked and taking reservations...and it's about freakin' time! FYI... I will attend this one in all my aging glory. How could I miss it??

Dates: September 14th through 18th, 2008
Location: The Sonora Days Inn, Sonora, California
Reservations: 866-732-4010 or Email: info@sonoradaysinn.com

Here's the latest info from Charlie .. aka.. Kneedragger over at www.I-BMW.com: "OK I-BMW friends, it is finally time for you to confirm your plans to attend the first I-BMW rally in the western USA, the Sierra Gold Rush Rally!! I have reserved 30 rooms for us at the Sonora Days Inn in Sonora, California: The rally dates are September 14th through 18th. The Sonora Days Inn has agreed to hold 30 rooms until 30 days prior to the rally. They have two facilities that are adjacent to each other: there is the historic hotel, which is a very old hotel with rooms completely renovated. Behind the historic hotel is what they call the Annex, which is more conventional motel style. We have 15 rooms in each facility, with an even mix of king rooms and double queen rooms. The Days Inn has given us a substantial discount on the rooms. The critical component when you call for a reservation is to inform them that you are with the I-BMW group in order to receive our discount. Sonora is a very old, historic town from the gold rush era of California, and the town looks much the same today as it did 150 years ago. The hotel is right on Washington Street, the main street in town, and there are a variety of restaurants and saloons in close walking distance, several in the same block. Sonora is in a beautiful area of the Western Sierra foothills, and the gateway to Yosemite National Park and many spectacular Sierra passes. The riding and scenery are spectacular... don't miss it!!

This area is the gateway to Yosemite and many spectacular Sierra passes. More information will be forthcoming next month. Mark your calendars! "

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Deals Gap K12 Rally: Sept 25-28th, 2008 (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com )

Well.. the last K12 rally of the year will again be at the Tapoco Lodge at Deal's Gap. Dates are set for Thursday Sept 25th - Sunday 28th. It won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!! This'll be the last K12 Rally of 2008, my friends. Be there or forever regret it like the time you blew that chance with those twins because you misread the subtle signals they were giving you..

Call NOW to reserve a room...!

Friday noon meal (12-1:00pm) will be at the Troll Restaurant in Helen, Ga (under the bridge)
Saturday noon meal (12-1:00 pm) will be at the Bistro, Telico Plains, Tennessee (western end of the Cherohala)

As usual, Fri and Sat evening will consist of tall tales, videos worthy of "Americas Most Wanted", and food in the Lodge. No set times.

Alternate Lodging in Robbinsville, NC. Microtel Motel.
Closest dealer (err, one in Knoxville yet?) Touring Sport BMW Greenville, SC

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How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

Our last 3 contributions were from
Peter Warren of Orange County, CA .!!! Thx mate!!

Could these tips save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive on your Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

Pirates Lair Sacred Archives

We get a lot of requests for specific articles and/or reviews I've written in the past. Rather than fry my aging brain trying to remember where they are on our multi-thousand page website.. I have decided to list the "worthy" ones here. Most of the links are to past newsletters.. Some are to full web articles. Remember, I'm no expert on anything except perhaps cunnilingus so the opinions within the archives are only my own. Saavy?

BMW How-To Section

Our last contribution??
...contributed by Sir Rich Edwards.. He documented his '07 K1200GT Oil Change in pictures. It's the first listing on the page. Thx, Rich.

Picture at right Courtesy of Sports Illustrated photographer Walter Iooss, Jr. / Model: Ms Melissa Haro

Click For Larger Image.. If You Want a Chub..

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues