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"Gather
'round, lads.... gather 'round"... Around the 1st or
15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy
newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW
world and of course... Pirates' Lair.
How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have
these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll
get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth
as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my
opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult,
or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they
blatantly deserve it. Also... something to keep in mind... My language in the email subscription version may offend the meek. Subscribe at your own risk. The on-line version is a bit more... PC.. Lastly, our e-subscriber newsletter also has all our specials listed.. sales, blems, close-outs, scratch & dent items, etc. or if you'd like to see our current specials without subscribing, just Click Here. |
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The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter:
October 2009 |
| Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the month..... |
| Sitting by the campfire, smokin a dube....the three travelers delve into the true meaning of things... It would be the last conversation George ever has.... |
George Hanson: You know, this used to be a helluva good country. I can't understand what's gone wrong with it. |
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News
From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!! |
Picture Of The Month! Colorado National Monument! (Click Image for a Larger View) Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot.. If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT and B. In focus. |
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2009 I-BMW.com Sierra Goldrush K12 / K13 Rally: The Sequel! (Sponsored by www.I-BMW.com ) The second annual west coast K12 rally ..aka. the 2009 I-BMW Sierra Goldrush K12 / K13 Rally was another roaring success although there were a few crashes and quite a few velocity awards received. Way to go guys!! If you missed it you should be kicking yourself in the cajones (not an easy thing to do) as I hear it was most excellent.. Having attended last years rally, I can wholeheartedly say that California roads do not disappoint..Kaleefornia has some of the best roads in the country. Scenic vistas, mountain lakes, gigantic trees, hobbits, wizards, and the wonderful smells of riding at high altitude.. Amazing. Thx to the effervescent Charlie W.. aka Kneedragger (over at I-BMW.com) for stepping up to the plate yet again and making the event a continued success. Congrats on the 100mph Award, Charlie! You done us proud! I've posted rally pics in the Pirates Lair Photo Gallery. Look for the album cleverly titled.. the Sierra Gold Rush Rally 2009 Enjoy. |
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Product Review: Mothers California Gold Clay Bar Paint Saving System When it comes to waxes.. I'm as jaded as they come. As an ex professional motorcycle detailer and world renowned poster boy for the anal, not much impresses me these days. There are lots of good waxes on the market. Ask 10 people what's the best wax and you'll get 10 opinions. My personal favorite and the best I've seen has been Crystal Glo .. a Canadian product but.... I'm not brand loyal.. A while back I had my Ducati 1098 painted all black. There's a local paint shop a few miles from here that specializes in motorcycles and the guy is good.. Very good. Before I turned him loose on my bike, he showed me half a dozen bike magazines that featured his work on the cover. Motorcyclist, Cycle World, etc.. Good enough credentials for me. My paint job turned out pretty damn good for the $1200 I paid.. Not world class good, but good enough for most mere mortals. While my new paint looks deep and shiny to the naked eye, there are downsides to aftermarket paint jobs and black paint in particular. Few rival the quality of a good factory paint job. Surface smoothness, durability, ability to repel stains, uniformity.. It rarely compares to factory paint so the choice of paint care products becomes even more important.. Even though my new paint looks as smooth as Megan Fox's firm buttock after a hot steamy shower, if I run a microfiber cloth across it.. my paint.. not her ass, I can actually feel the cloth snag and drag across the surface like a hand across a 5 o'clock beard. I can't feel this drag with a tee but microfiber is different. I figured I'd just have to live with the paint imperfections until I saw an advertisement for Mothers California Gold Clay Bar Paint Saving System. With high hopes, I ordered some on ebay ($21 to my door.) |
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The spiel on their advertising says..."To determine if you need a clay bar, first, rub your hand along the freshly washed painted surface of your car. Feel any gritty residue? If the surface is not perfectly smooth.. you need Mothers Clay Bar. Remember, no matter how often you wash your car; the paint is only as clean as the soap is powerful. And no soap alone can do what Mothers Clay Bar Paint Saving System does. The cleaner the painted surface, the more effective your waxing efforts will be. Mothers Clay Bar System will remove embedded grains of metal, tree sap, airborne environmental deposits and paint overspray. Better yet, our clay bar isn’t hazardous to your paint — it’s just firm enough to pick up the bad stuff, without being too aggressive. Minute particles and dirt fragments will obscure even the most expertly applied wax. " The furnished instructions are chimp easy. Basically.. you wet down the painted surface with the furnished Mothers Spray Detailer (large bottle in pic) then rub the clay bar in a back and forth motion to remove the paint contaminates. The clay absorbs the spray as you rub so you have to keep spraying to keep things from going dry. Like sex.. it's no fun without the lubrication. If you do NOT have enough lubrication.. the clay will leave streaks and even mar the paint or clear coat.. In the instructions they say you can hear the contaminants being removed, but I couldn't. Not sure if that's because I'm hard of hearing or if they exaggerated.. no matter. |
As I inferred early on... I'm a skeptic, but I have an open mind. My first attempt with the Mother Clay Bar System was a learning experience and NOT a pleasant one. Even though I followed the chimp-like instructions to the letter and used what I thought was the right amount of spray and the right amount of pressure with the clay, when I wiped the paint clean of the spray residue I was shocked to see that I had actually damaged the very top layer of my clear coat. What the f@%*! It looked like I had taken a very mild abrasive or even steel wool and rubbed it over the surface. I had virtually no shine left. Thank Allah.. peace be upon him.. that I had my Griot's Garage 3" Random Orbital Polisher handy or I would have been crying like a little girl right there in the shop. It took me almost 45 minutes to repair the damage done by the Mothers Clay Bar kit with my professional polish kit. So my friends.the verdict is...While the product does remove excess grit and particles in the paint and does prep a surface for a better wax job just as the advertising spiel claims, unless you have a full arsenal of back-up paint care products (i.e an orbital polisher with various grades of polish) at your beck and call (like I did...). one could easily do more damage than good. Could the problem I experienced be attributed to my own self inflicted ineptitude? It wouldn't be the first time, but as I am an ex-professional detailer with knowledge of paint, waxes, and abrasives ...probably not. I shutter to think what kinda damage Richard Thorndyke could do to his paint with lessor experience. |
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| Personally.. I'm glad I have the kit as I have seen times when the product was needed, but my god.. they should put warnings on this stuff.. My paint surface after the entire ordeal did actually have just about the best shine I had seen since getting the bike painted but at a high cost of time and unexpected anxiety. My opinion..stay away from Mothers California Gold Clay Bar Paint Saving System unless you are A. a pro or B. a masochist. |
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BMW S1000RR Teams Taste Victory at Barcelona!! Interestingly, the S1000RR used in this race had already completed 25,000 kilometers of hard use by Gerhard's team of riders, who are tasked with finding a machine's limits in a variety of riding conditions out on the road, including autobahns, in the city and on poorly maintained roads. Their job is to find - in a very short time - any weaknesses and stresses there might be to the engine and chassis, and factor these into a new model's ongoing development. As you can imagine, 25,000 kilometers by the test team equates to around 80,000 kilometers under 'normal' usage by a customer - and then they decided to take the same bike racing! This bodes well for the people who have deposits on these bikes. For the full story.. Click Here. |
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Product Review: AMS Comfort-Max Gel Pad / Fun For The Unpretentious Ass I get a lot of calls from sick demented people who want sheepskin seat covers or beads for their seats. Geezz.. I generally tell them as politely as I can (and it ain't easy).. that my powers can only be used for good and to check at the nearest Honda shop, sheep ranch, or New Orleans gutter. I flat out admit that I've always looked down on sheepskin covers or the beads and the people who buy them. I think most of us equate those things with old codgers who no longer care about being cool...the appearance of their bikes... or self dignity. Kinda like wearing sandals out in public with white socks. It may "feel" comfortable, but my god! You may as well be wearing a tee that proudly proclaims... "I Wear Depends and I'm Proud Of It." You just want to slap them...Well.. I do. Raise your hand if you'd like to slap them too..I thought so. In one way I feel sorry for these individuals.. In another way.. I envy them for their lack of pretentiousness. |
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AMS Comfort-Max Gel Pads come in a few different sizes but I ordered the Medium 12 x 12 size (pic lower right.. click for larger image) and I guessed correctly as any bigger would have ben hanging all over the seat. All sizes come with a grippy rubberized bottom to keep them from sliding around on the seat, but they are actually attached to your seat via an adjustable nylon strap that velcros to the bottom of the pad and has flat angle hooks that may or may not conveniently attach to your bike or seat. Mine attached very easily and for the entire test session the Gel pad never moved. |
| I did a 200 mile test on the pad that would have ordinarily had me in "badonkadonk" hell, but after about 100 miles it's virtues become as clear as an azure sky in deepest summer. The pad, as advertised, distributes your weight evenly and eliminates all the pressure points that generally cause butt pain. I was impressed. The AMS Comfort-Max Gel Pad actually feels great!! Not just good.. but great!! After my 200 mile test ride my "bum" felt just peachy. No pain. However.. not all is wine and roses. While the pad is absolutely luxurious in the straights or for sedate, civilized riding.. it is not conducive to sport bike riding.. i.e... hanging off or moving around, but only a moron wouldn't assume that anyway. I doubt if you'll ever see one of these on a Gixxer, Ducati, or MV Agusta. Using the AMS Comfort-Max Gel Pad is kinda like having sex with an ugly girl. It feels great .. even wonderful when you're on top but once you get off you pray your friends aren't around to see you with her. It takes years to build up a facade of "cool"... only seconds to tear it down. Every time I stopped I'd remove it from the bike and toss it in my back back before anyone could get a gander at it. Yes.. my vanity runs deep, but there's nothing I can do about that short of long term therapy. My opinion.... if you can put your vanity aside this is one product that your backside will thank you for.. I can honestly say.. if I were planning a trip of multiple hundred mile days.. the AMS Comfort-Max Gel Pad would be as important an accessory to have with me as my helmet, boots, and gloves. I'm not kidding. |
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| Lastly...for the sick and demented. I guess I should mention that American Motorcycle Specialties also carries the Comfort Max Gel Pad with an optional Plush Australian Sheepskin Cover. I think this is what Johnny Depp and Jesse James use on their bikes. Not. Sandals and white sox also optional. |
What's
New In the K12 / K13 No-Spin Zone |
| I should note that as the RS and first generation GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites.. |
1. Verholen K1300S Risers Update: FYI.. I spoke in depth with the Germans recently... I finally got the dope on what's going on with the Verholen K1300S Riser Kits. As you may recall if you've been following this saga in past newsletters..At first.. Verholen was selling their K1200S riser kits to the K1300S guys and all was well with the world. Then on some (not all) late K1300Ss, BMW started changing switch housings. These new switch housings had different mounting points which meant they wouldn't mount to the Verholen risers. The risers needed holes to accommodate. Some customers were drilling and tapping their own holes. Others were just returning the kits saying. "Not gonna attempt that."The good news is.. Verholen is now drilling holes in ALL the new kits as to accommodate both the K1200S and K1300S. The K1300S kit includes BOTH a longer clutch extension and brake line hence the higher price.. a sphincter busting $555US. Don't shoot the messenger... Just trying to enlighten the masses... |
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2. In our July Cheesy Newsletter, I described the life altering procedure for replacing that abomination of a tail light that comes on the K1200S with the beautiful K1300S LED Tail light. In the article I mentioned that we used a 20 Ohm 5 watt resister on my bike. Since then we have tried a few different types and decided that a 50 Ohm resistor gives the best visual effect. IMHO.. when using the 20ohm transistor (which does work just fine) the tail light isn't quite bright enough in bright day light. With the 50ohm resistor installed, the tail light is brighter and easier to see yet still has plenty of contrast when the brake light is applied. The resistor will cost you a whopping $10. 3. If you'd like to see all the new bikes and accessories for 2010.. the schedule for Cycle Worlds International Motorcycle Shows just went up. Somebody pick me up a Sham-Wow, would ya? 4. OK.. You've saved your pennies and finally purchased your new, shiny, hi-tech "woopdeedoodad" and you need to wire it into your bikes system. You usually have 2 choices..A. direct to battery (which already has 300 other things plugged into it or B. Seek out a switched or un-switched wire. If your bike has CanBus that complicates things even further.. So what's a hearty determined soul to do? Road Rocketeer's upcoming SMARTBUS makes it easy to add electrical accessories to your bike. SMARTBUS connects directly to your bike's battery and distributes power to accessories through multiple outputs, all protected by self-resetting fuses. On some models, outputs can be controlled remotely by an existing handlebar control, or with our add-on control switch. Is this cool or what? The SMARTBUS is NOT available yet but I will report back when I get word from Roadrocketeer on price and availability. Pirates Lair will carry them when available. 5. Here's some interesting air filter news ..I found this over at www.I-BMW.com Did you know that the factory K1300S air filter is a copy of a K1200S K&N aftermarket filter? If you want better performance out of your K1200S and don't like after market filters... your in luck! Just order some K1300S filter for your K1200S next time you need them. That would be p/n 13717713428 (X 2) for those that are interested. Click Here for a Comparison Pic. The K&N filter is on the left and the new K1300S filter is on the right. Cool, huh? Wonder how the prices compare? Of course you do... Here's the breakdown. K1200S Factory Filter- 13717703583; $30.02 list / K1300S Factory Filter- 13717713428; $52.25 list / K&N K1200S / K1300S - BM-1205; $71.81 list 6. For a very nicely done Full HD Video of the Orange BMW K1300S Click the link. It was furnished by Shiva over at BMWSuperBikes.com 7. and here's some rare positive press on the 2009 K1300R. Check out this review as seen at www.MotorcycleDaily.com called 2009 BMW K1300R: MD First Ride |
| 8. Like a government health care plan, old man winter is bearing down on us and there's not much we can do about it except to brace ourselves for the worst and hope we don't get sick. If you're like me you'll be soon using your electric vest and /or a battery charger. And of course the Germans in trying to show us how technologically advanced they are, infested our bikes with the overly complicated foofoo CANbus system which causes both battery charger and electric accessory problems.
Danke schon, Ehrenmänner. FYI.. The factory outlets powered by the CANbus system turn on and off with the motorcycle ignition which does not allow the use of a standard battery charger. To make things worse ..CANbus driven outlets automatically shut off when the current exceeds 5 amps; prohibiting the use of most heated clothing, which can draw up to 15 amps. So you may be asking.."what the f@#* can we do, Mr Wizard?" I'm glad you asked.
Powerlet sells a heavy duty replacement wiring harness will allow you to use of a standard battery charger and heated clothing. The replacement harness will not affect or damage the CANbus system. On vehicles built BEFORE 08/2006, the harness will plug directly into the stock socket. These early metal (silver) sockets can be identified by opening the lid. These metal sockets are capable of 15 amps so they do not need to be replaced. For later models both the wiring harness and socket are replaced since the newer plastic socket has light-weight 5 amp terminals.. Cost is under $40. |
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What's
New at Pirates' Lair? |
1. MotorCycle Cruise Control for BMW K1200S: Now Available!! Yes, my friends.. an electronic cruise control for your K1200S is now available and we have them. The kit will fit the 2005-2008 BMW K1200S. Tired of aching wrists and numb hands? Here's one solution that will rock your world. Delivery time from Australia is generally a week-10 days. Installation of the Motorcycle Cruise is best left to a professional mechanic. Install time varies from 3-5 hours for a "skilled" BMW mechanic. Click Here for a How-To Install PDF. Cost to your door is $850. and in case you are wondering... A BMW K1300S version kit is Coming Soon!... Stay tuned! |
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2. 2009 K1300GT Owners: We do not have word whether the Evoluzione K1200GT race air filter will work on the K1300GT or not. If you would like to try one on your K1300GT we will pay for the return shipping if it does not fit. Let us know at pirate@acelink.net or call Amber at 828-628-7093 EST 3. As per the blurb in the previous section, we have finally figured out what's going on with the Verholen K1300S Risers Kits. This should be good news for all the K1300S owners looking for higher bars. Bottom line.. The new K1300S kits are in stock!!.The new bars have pre-drilled holes for the K1300S guys with new switch housings. The K1300S kit includes BOTH a longer clutch and brake line extension hence the higher price.. a lofty $555US. 4. The long awaited second coming of the Laser Stealth HotCam 2 is still imminent.or so they continue to tell us.. over and over.. and over. We've been waiting for about 10 months now. .IMHO.. it's. the best sounding, best looking slip-on exhaust on the market for the BMW K1200S.They tell us the latest delivery date is around Sept 12th which was last week!! Oh well. I'll start taking orders again as soon as they have cleared customs and are available. .. and not before. and dat's the fact, Jack. 5. K1300S Owners: Peg Lowering Kit News! Need a little extra leg room? We hear it all the time. The good news is..We now have the Evoluzione Peg Relocator kit for the BMW K1300S with or without the optional factory quick shift feature. The Peg relocator kit for the K1300S with the quick shift option comes with an additional shift lever linkage extension hence the slightly higher price.. Thx, Ken for all you do. 6. We get more requests for Carbon Fiber Huggers for the K1200S and K1200GT than any other single product. The problem has been supply (or lack thereof) and demand. They stay on perpetual back-order from Ilmberger of Germany. We probably get 2 shipments a year. Well my friends.. we just got a handful and the price has actually gone down a bit. Woohoo! Top quality even by my anal standards. In case you are curious, the Carbon Fiber pattern of Ilmberger products is an exact match for the patterns of both ZTechnik and Pack Parts Carbon Fiber products so there is no issue with mixing and matching. These will fit the BMW K1200S, K1200R, K1200R Sport, and 06 & up K1200GT. They will NOT fit the new K13s. Get them while they last. 7. By the time this newsletter goes live.. I will have R & G Racing Slider Kits for the K1300S in stock. Unlike the round K1200S version frame sliders.. the K1300S kit features Aero shaped sliders. We have sliders for the frame, shaft, forks, and engine case. Well worth the money for some peace of mind should you go down. Trust me. 8. I'm always telling my wife that a lot of you K1300S guys aren't very bright... Of course I'm talking about your motorcycle lighting.. Bwah.. The good news is we just learned that our K1200S Lite Buddy Kits are compatible with the K1300S. The US-made Lite Buddy's are super bright LED's that go inside your factory rear turn signal housings. You get 24 LEDs per side! This REAR kit burns a bright RED at all times and 16 of the LED's burn amber when the turn signals are used. Very unobtrusive. Easy install even for the most intellectually challenged. No mods or drilling. Increase your rear visibility by 200% and hedge your bets against being a rear ended by some cell phone wielding soccer mom... or not. |
9. 2009 BMW K1300S V.A.L.E.™ M-5 Slip-On Exhaust System: Now Available!! The all new Two Brothers Racing slip-on system for the K1300S is now available. Woohoo!! unsurpassed craftsmanship and improved performance. These are just a few of the benefits that you gain by adding one of the all new M-Series slip-on exhaust systems to your bike. By reducing the weight improving the horsepower and torque, their new slip-on for the K1300S is exactly what you need to turn that sissy stock bike into a benevolent force of nature. Pirates' Lair includes the TBR P1 PowerTip sound suppressor in our pricing (usually a $30 option) with all TwoBros exhaust systems with M5 outlets. Use it.. or not! |
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K12 / K13 Rally / Event
News : Down The Road: 2009 |
The 10th Annual Deals Gap K12 / K13 Rally: Sept 24-27th, 2009 ( New Location! ) Where: Ridge Top Motel and Campground,
Bryson City, North Carolina Be sure to mention i-bmw group |
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| Recently we were shocked to learn of the closing of the Topoco Lodge (near Robbinsville.) For the last nine straight years our Deals Gap K12 Rally has been held there. So what to do? Well thanks to the quick action of our bud, Tim (aka..Cbnfvr over at www.I-BMW.com) an alternative site has been booked. The 2009 Deals Gap K12 rally will be held in Bryson City, NC at the Ridge Top Motel and Campground. This'll be the 10th anniversary of the most sacred K12 gathering. This motel won't hold us all, so make plans now! This'll be the last K12 / K13 Rally of 2009, my friends. |
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How-To-Survive
On A Motorcycle If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant. We get a lot of requests for specific articles and/or reviews I've written in the past. Rather than fry my aging brain trying to remember where they are on our multi-thousand page website.. I have decided to list the "worthy" ones here. Most of the links are to past newsletters.. Some are to full web articles. Remember, I'm no expert on anything except perhaps cunnilingus so the opinions within the archives are only my own. Saavy? BMW
How-To Section |
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