Take me home, El Capitan!

"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Each month or so, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy K12 newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT world. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net or call us at 828.628.7093 EST .. otherwise you'll get 90% of it here. Why only 90%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products, etc and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell .. I do NOT have any need to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it.
While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek, amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment.
So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: August 2003 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed K12 Riders......There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man..It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow. between science and superstition. and it lies between the tip of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is a dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call.. the Twilight..er.. Pirate Zone. Guess what?!...It's time for yet another cheesy K12 newsletter to invade your personal space and clutter your in-box, but with the quasi-noble intent of informing you of what's new in the BMW K1200RS/GT community and... at Pirates' Lair.

Rally News/Info: What's Next?

Looks like there's gonna be a party and you're all invited!!!...a Pre-Deals Gap Rally Party!
Mark your calendar everyone for Thursday September 18th Evening/Night. 4PM-??
Amber and I would like to share this invitation to everyone receiving this newsletter.. We will be providing simple foods (burger's, hot dogs, squid, beverages..), good conversation, friendship, and of course a bike wash to all who would like to stop by our house on Thursday around 4pm on their way to the rally. If you can't make the rally but can stop in.. please do. FYI.. we live just 5 minutes off the BRPW on Hwy 74A East.. this is also 5 minutes of I-40
For reasons even a mental defect should be able to discern, we will NOT be providing any alcohol, however...if you must imbibe.. beer is sold within 100ft of our house.... not yards... ft.

As some of you already know we have a very small house and limited guest accommodations, but will gladly provide a list of local hotel/motels if requested. FYI.. there is a Comfort Inn just 7 minutes away..
I am planning to leave for the rally around 10-ish Friday morning after breakfast for the leisurely... er.. spirited, 2.5 hour ride down the Blue Ridge Parkway to the Topoco Lodge.. headquarters of this year's rally. Anyone who wants to join in the ride down is welcome...

We will be updating info as the date approaches with maps to our house, etc... for now if you are interested in coming, please let us know. Address, directions, accommodation suggestions will be provided upon request. Please email the lovely (and semi-nude) Amber @ piratesmate@acelink.net

The 4th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally: You can sign up at David A's official website at http://abrahamson.net/dgr2003/index.htm
The finest K12 Rally of the year, IMHO... will again be held at the very laid back Topoco Lodge. Lodge just minutes from the world famous Tail of the Dragon.. One of the most awesome motorcycle roads on earth. Mark your calender for September 18, 19th, 20th.

Tapoco Lodge Resort
14981 Tapoco Road
Robbinsville, North Carolina 28771
828.498.2435 or 800.822.5083 Tell them you are with the BMW K12 group.

The Microtel in Robbinsville (see blurb below) is an alternate lodging place. Tapoco might have a cabin or dorm room left as of this writing so book now! (FYI... the primary 'meeting' spot is Topoco) if you want to check out the area... Tail of the Dragon is an excellent resource for the area at http://www.tailofthedragon.com/

Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2004 /

Next year's 2004 Hill Country Rally is already in the works for April 8-11, 2004 in Kerrville, Tx. Barry Gibbs, the "seasoned" rally organizer (and chief political adviser to Gary Coleman) speaks... "I have already reserved a block of rooms at Inn of the Hills in Kerrville, TX and made arrangements for the Friday night dinner at the hotel. I will update the Rally website later this summer and start taking reservations in the Fall. So mark those dates on your calendar right now. The Hill Country Rally is one of the best K1200RS rallies to be held anywhere. Great roads, no traffic and Texas hospitality. Go to www.nine-eleven.com/rally and check the photos of the 2003 Rally."

Newsflash: The 2004 Blue Ridge Parkway Rally has been planned for May 6-9, 2004 and will be held at the Inn at Afton in Charlottesville, VA at http://www.theinnatafton.com/index1.html-ssi or (800) 860-8559.) Rally planners have locked in 108 rooms / Rate = $50 a night. Reference "BMW" when calling. You will probably be assigned a room number. King or Double rooms, smoking or non, if guarantee needed after 6 be sure to request. Fri Sat Sun breakfast buffet available. Saturday evening buffet in planning (meal at the Inn means no night driving a.k.a... 2 wheeled deer tag, rain, drinks not a problem, etc. Register at http://abrahamson.net/brpr2004/index.htm I booked my room today.

News from the Front:

The new version of the Best K1200RS/GT Chat Site on Earth .. YES.. www.I-BMW.com is garnering more attendance than the old site. It's a major improvement over the old format, IMHO. Vic Salemme and his "Guild Navigators" deserve some serious kudos for successfully folding space and putting it all together. Take a few minutes and register when you can ... It's simply the best place to go for K12RS/GT related info or discussion.

Under the "This is too f#@*in' cool" category.... Last month I had a blurb in here about the Microtel in Robbinsville... Here's yet another that was sent in... "Approximately two months ago, on my way to Deal's Gap I crashed my 02 K12RS at 70mph. I was merely a couple miles from the dragon when this happened. The K ended up having over $10,000 in damage and both myself and the unridable bike were towed to the Microtel Motel in Robbinsville N.C. The folks at the motel gave me a discounted rate (as they do all bikers) and went way out of their way to help me making personal calls to try to help me get a rental truck to get the shattered K home to Ohio. One of the owner's sons Bill, drove me to a local bike shop and to the neighboring town (30 miles away) to get a U-Haul truck. Bill helped me get my bike loaded and strapped in the truck and they allowed me to keep my stuff in the room well beyond checkout with no charge while all this took place. This is a business very deserving of all bikers support. "
Dan Peyton
Ravenna, Ohio

In a purely humanitarian gesture, I have approached the guys at the German version of http://www.i-bmw.com/... http://www.k1200rs.de/ for a little collaboration with our newsletters. I'm sure they have access to info that we do not.. and vice versa. I regularly visit their site with my trusty on-line translator and they have all the same probs or lack thereof. While they seem waaaay more technically minded than us yanks and less er.. American... they similarly love their bikes. I thought this would be good for everyone involved if we could join hands.. if you will.. Initial impression of my offer was typical German arrogance... They were simply not interested in pooling our resources...or sharing, however, to be fair they asked me to post any time I want..if I could figure out the German site instructions.. Maybe they haven't gotten over that "WWII" thang....

What's new in the K1200RS News...?

1. We've been hearing a lot of weepy stories from people buying HID systems from http://www.hid4less.com/ Two people in the last 2 weeks who never received a product after paying in full and having trouble getting a refund. Just reporting what I was told.

2. Verholen now has a new backrest on the market at http://www.verholen.de/ as per Karen, the US speaking rep.... "This is a three piece design. First we start with a locking rack from BMW. This can be keyed to the bike. From there we attach either BMW's rack -I believe it is used with the soft tail rack - or our luggage rack. If wanted - or rather needed - we then attach the backrest. If the customer already has the parts from BMW,. we can sell the backrest or the luggage rack separately. This fits all three of your favorite bikes - K1200RS, K1200GT and R1150R."

3. Speaking of Verholen.. as of 8/6/03 they have discontinued their Hubcaps for both the 5.0 wheels and the newer wider 5.5 version..Yes.. this is a pisser. FYI.. I sold out instantly today (8/20). I'm keeping a spare just in case. Must take care of #1!

4. In last month's newsletter I questioned the performance claims for the new K1200RS Performance Chip being offered from http://www.omexperformanceusa.com/ . as per their website..."Up to 18 more hp depending on the exhaust used. Any aftermarket exhaust could be used. No Back firing - Better fuel mileage Higher top speed - 9700rpm redline" ... Here is a clarification.. they "claim" to get the 18hp using a combination of their Chip, the Remus exhaust, and some sort of special air funnels. With the stock pipe they are only claiming a modest 4hp increase. This makes more since and I am happy to clarify.

5. RB Racing has updated their website with new Black Hole Exhaust info... a short film.. and a well-made sound clip. http://www.rbracing-rsr.com/blackhole/bmwk1200exhausts.html Hard to tell by computer speakers, however good, but while it sounds pretty good, me thinks it's even louder than the Two Bros.... Opinions?

First impressions:
Looks damn good. I like what I see. Best looking pipe I have seen next to the Staintune.
Little loud for my taste
"Claimed" power stats are impressive.
Warranty issues? You betcha.. out the window.
Price is steep at $1800+ for the whole kit..
I'd like to see some dyno comparisons but when asked.. the blew me off like a Bangkok ho..

Would I buy one? Hmmm.. If I could tone down the sound and still reap the HP benefits.. probably. While I love my Staintune/RW Chip combo, I would love to have dem ponies, but doubt if I could live with the noise. May or may not carry them from our site. Would depend on customer requests, I guess.
Feedback, my brothers and sisters?

6. Did you know that the ZTechnik K1200RS Windshields are interchangeable on the GT's? You do now...

7.. My product discovery of the month... Boms Away at http://www.bikecleaner.com/ which is advertised as...the Ultimate Metal Polish. Bold claim. A few months ago I was raving about a tube product called Autosol which is similar to but better than Semi-Chrome Polish or Wenol.. This Boms Away, IMHO is better than any of these others and it's a liquid... I couldn't belive it when I first tested this on my Staintune this last week, but it requires almost ZERO EFFORT to clean any metal, including my 'tune. It quickly turns your rag black, just like the other mentioned products but actually leaves a thin layer of Carnuba wax on the metal when you are done...For now, it can be purchased from Catey Enterprises at 866-702-4474 or 423-913-0196 for $20 for an 8oz bottle.. Got a 'tune? Try this stuff and you'll put your other cleaners in the back of your tool box... and Pirate spoke unto the masses.. and it was truth.

.What's new at Pirates' Lair?

1. There are some waaay cool SILVER Carbon Fiber Huggers coming out of Germany from http://www.madmix.de/ and we have them in stock. This is simply some beautiful stuff. You can gaze upon this exclusive Silver Carbon at http://piratesk12site.net/Hugger1.htm

2. We are proud to say that we will soon be the only vendor on earth to sell literally ALL the exhaust options for the K1200RS/GT line..Yes, Banachek.. starting in September, we will carry the Staintune Exhaust Systems of Australia. It's been a long time coming, my friends. They have carved a superior reputation since 1980 as the premier manufacturer of exquisite hand crafted stainless steel exhaust systems. I can say this for a fact.. they may not deliver the same HP figures as the others but it makes up for it in other areas.. It’s smaller, sleeker, quieter, has a removable baffle, does not need to be re-packed, has firm pouting young breasts..er... where was I?.. O, yea...and in my opinion, it’s the best sounding K12 exhaust out there. Nuff said.... Page is up at http://piratesk12site.net/Staintune.htm with a sound clip. and just because I care... we will also carry a cleaner to keep your pipe looking as sexy as Monica Bellucci in a see-through teddy.

3. Next up... Pirates' Lair K1200RS Tees at http://www.piratesk12site.net/Tee.htm The first printing is in stock and we love them!!... Only difference in this image and what is on the shirt...the skull and lower text banner will be a weathered tan-ish color like old paper...Front will have a small skull and crossbones in similar colors with the Pirates' Lair banner across the bottom.. and yes.. we will be able to drop in different color bikes on future orders.. First printing is of the most beautiful K1200RS ever produced, IMHO... the Classic 98 Dakar Yellow. The first run will become a collectors item (they'll never fall for this ploy!!) so get them while you can. Opinion on the tee? and remember ...you'll really hurt my feelings if you say ANYTHING negative... ;-) Approved by Mr. Blackwell.

4. GT Owners: Barbacks Update: Good news.. !! We should have some in stock within the next 10 days. Two companies are approaching the problem in similar ways. American Machine will have theirs on the market within the next 2 weeks. Cost will be $140. They will simply bolt on with no mods necessary. Only variable will be that you may or may not have to run your (2) throttle cables over the triple clamp. They are claifying this issue this week on their test bike.
Suburban Machine is approaching the barback concept with an all out assault on the problem. Not only will they offer 40mm barbacks (at $130), but as an option they will offer a kit with (2) custom made, longer throttle cables so the customer can run the lines under the triple clamp for a cleaner look. Est. cost of the Suburban Kit is $200. Like the American Machine version, they also change the grip angle by 10 degrees. No changes to brake hose or clutch hose will be necessary on either brand 'backs.
As per the prophesy, we will offer both offerings .. web pages in the works..

5. It's been about a month now that we've been selling the Avant Guard Radar Mount at http://piratesk12site.net/Avant.htm Would like some feedback if you've recently bought and used one. As it's a new product, the designer wants to know if everyone is happy or if not... what improvements can he make to make them better.. if any. Just e-mail me at pirate@acelink.net and I'll forward your opinion to the very thoughtful designer... I did just receive and e-mail from him and was informed that on ALL future kits a bottle of fingernail polish will be included. Apparently a few customers mentioned a screw or two loosening up and since Loctite does not work on plastic screws... fingernail polish does. Just a drop will do the trick. FYI..

6. We may soon be selling an absolutely beautiful Aluminum Rear Luggage Rack. Currently in talks with designer. Easy 5 minute install. Allows for use of optional BMW top case... involves zero mods to your bike or factory rack... and is covered with a protective ABS overlay top reserve the finish. Holes are machined as to make bungee's easily usable. The rear large holes even do double duty as cup holders!! An impressive piece even by my anal standards and easily the best looking rear rack I have ever seen. E-mail me and I'll send you a few pics... Trust me.. it's impressive. I'm 80% sure this is not compatible with our backrests.

7. Our K1200RS/GT Custom Footpeg Kits project is complete. I just OK'd the final prototype kit so production is imminent. I hope to have them in about 3 weeks. They weigh ½ as much as the stock pegs and offer a little more ground clearance while keeping the pegs at exactly the same height. The kits will come with matching front and rear pegs and will be offered in a variety of colors... Silver, Blue, Red, Black, Gold....and Purple for the very disturbed.. not that there's anything wrong with that. http://piratesk12site.net/TopGear.htm Amber and I both prefer these to the factory pegs...

8. We are also working on an all new design of Pirates' Lair K1200RS/GT Hats....Artwork is almost complete.. Unlike before.. we will only offer our hats in the always stylish and popular, head slimming BLACK.

9. Cruise Controls!!..The MotorCycle Cruise Controls are back on the market and as promised, we have them in stock for the 98-01 K1200RS (manufactured by the Australian Guymer brothers) Like crack, sex, or Mountain Dew... once you've tried it.. you'll never be able to do without.. http://piratesk12site.net/Cruise.htm

10. The good news is.. the first LSL Superbike Handlebar Kits arrived a few days ago!!! The bad news is we are already sold out, but more are in transit. We'll have both a standard kit and a kit for heated grips. These German made mounts look very cool... much better than I would have thought. I was expecting something geeky looking, but was pleasantly surprised. No idea how far back and up they bring you... looks like no more than 30mm and an angle change, but with the mounts you can change to any handlebar you want. Only your cables will limit you. Check them out at http://piratesk12site.net/Handlebar.htm

New How-To Links at http://piratesk12site.net/Howto.htm

We have one new offering this month
1."How-To Install Staintune Exhaust on BMW K1200RS" contributed by Bill Wright...check it out at http://www.ibmwr.org/ktech/k12rs-staintune-install.shtml

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To.. we'd be more than happy to link you up to our site. Might be your only chance to be respected and admired by your peers. Just send us the URL or if you are HTML ignorant.. maybe we could work it up for you if you furnish it on floppy disk or CD.

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues