Take me home, El Capitan!

"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Each month or so, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy K12 newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net or call us at 828.628.7093 EST .. otherwise you'll get 90% of it here. Why only 90%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products, etc and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell .. I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it.

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek, amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment.
So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: January 2004 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed K12 Riders.... ..A famous (and slightly edited) movie quote...

Sam: "By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. Itís like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, itís only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come...and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. They meant something, even if you were too small to understand. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam: Thereís some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And itís worth fighting for.. like the latest issue of the Pirates' Lair Cheesy Newsletter."

Samwise Gamgee / Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Yes, even without Saruman's all seeing eye, you know that it's time again. Time to invade your personal space and clutter your in-box, but with the quasi-noble intent of informing you of what's new in the BMW K1200RS/GT community and... at Pirates' Lair.

News of the Weird.... Kids Don't Try This at Home
Plane Lands Safely Following Terror Scare / 4:30 p.m. EST January 6, 2004
Woman's Jacket Sparked Suspicion

CINCINNATI -- Fighter jets escorted a flight from France part of the way into the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky Airport Tuesday afternoon. The two F-16 fighter jets were called off before Delta flight 043 landed. It left Paris at 11:20 a.m. and landed just before 4 p.m., Cincinnati television station WLWT reported.
According to reports, a woman was removed from the flight before it took off from Paris Charles de Gaulle International Airport because she had a coat with wires protruding from it. The coat turned out to be a Gerbing motorcycle vest that works like an electric blanket, and the woman was booked onto a later flight, WLWT reported.

What's New in the News...?

1. Cascade BMW of Kirkland, WA one of the largest internet accessory vendors of K12 products has been bought out or sold.. No idea how this will effect their on-line biz... another one bites the dust..Our diabolical plot to rule the accessory world seems to be working...Ya ah-ahhhh..

2. Verholen has decided to stop offering rebates on returned shifter cores from customers who buy their Short Shifter Kits...or have they? They told me it was just too much of a hassle and easier for them to buy new cores from BMW and then modify. Then they seemed to reverse this stance... Hmmm. Coincidentally...This came about immediately after Stefan Verholen quit the company.. Let me reiterate....Hmmm.. and to make things horribly worse... in the last 3 weeks, their price has almost doubled on these things to $300!! Of course.. the Euro is kicking the US dollar's ass, but give me a break....

3. Interested in front Clear Lenses for your 97-2001 K1200RS? Sure you are. Up until now.. nobody has made them. Even we bailed on the project 2 years ago in spite of numerous request due to price considerations. However...a couple of weeks ago I received a pair for evaluation..In a word.. they look factory. No word yet on pricing or availability, but it looks like it IS gonna happen. Have a few pics up at http://pirateslair.smugmug.com/ It's the album called Clear Lenses for Early K12.. Duh. A few pair are being road tested as we speak. If they don't yellow, crack, or become flatulent... they'll go straight into production.

4. We have received confirmation from the UK that the 2005 RS/GT replacement bike will be bumped up from 1200 to 1300cc's. No word yet on a new designation.

5. Suburban Machinery is about to release a Type 2 GT Barback to the market. I don't have specific details as to how much further back they come than their Type 1 that we have been selling, but it looks substantial. The Type 2 Kit will include the 'backs, longer throttle cables and a longer Spiegler brake line. Posted cost is $325.00 They have them listed as available this month.

6. One thing I've noticed in the last few years is that their are more and more women riders on the roads.. and I like it!! Nothing looks better on a motorcycle than a woman in leather..except for maybe a woman not in leather.. *wink.. wink.. nudge.. nudge*.. However... there doesn't seem to be many places specializing in womens gear... One of our more prominent lady K12 riders just turned us on to She Rides Active Wear at Apparently it's run by women.. for women..and prices are competitive.

7. If you're planning on storing your bike for the winter... Take care of that expensive battery or be prepared to buy a new one on the first warm riding day of spring.. and it'll be a Sunday... and all the dealers will be closed... and all your friends have been invited to ride over to Jay Leno's to hang out in his shop..and test ride the Jet bike...Geeezz. Just got word that Arizona Motorsports has a killer sale going on... the Battery Tender Jr. for only $19.95! Best price I've ever seen... You are welcome.


The Brad's Daughter Christmas Fund: Final Chapter

As most of you know by now, just before the holidays, we (meaning Amber and I and the folks at www.i-bmw.com) were collecting for a Christmas Fund for Brad Reetz's daughter. FYI.. we lost Brad about a year ago when some lowlife rear-ended him on an east coast interstate. Brad was raising a 10 year old daughter... Anna. While she is living in a good home and is not wanting for anything (we are told), we wanted to give her something in remembrance of her father.. a friend and fellow K12'er. To show her she is not alone in missing his company.
Final tally? Thanks to the generosity of over 125 people, we collected in the neighborhood of $2800 for her. You should all be proud. Our final Contributors List Page is still up. What did we do with the money??

For the last few years, Brad had paid to send Anna to a youth camp. Apparently.. Anna LOVES the camp and the people and looks forward to it every year, but due to his death, they could not afford to send her this year. With that said.. We spoke with Anna's mother, Carol (who OKíd it) and decided to put our group ďgiftĒ toward the camp. This is what Anna wants more than anything and what WE think Brad would have wanted.

On Dec 29th , Amber and I made out a check for $2671.93 from ALL of us and inclosed it in our group package to Anna. Amber and I thought it would be best for Anna to receive it AFTER Christmas for obvious reasons and surprisingly.. Carol agreed. Everything should be this easy. Incidentally, we deducted $145 from the total to cover the cost of a professionally framed picture of Brad (that VicS took the time to get done.. thanks, big fella!) that was presented to Anna along with our monetary gift, a list of all the contributors, and a heartfelt letter that former dinosaur trainer, Tim Shook penned.

On New Years Eve our package was received. Carol told us she sat down with Anna and opened the gift from us together... she explained the significance of all of us giving in Bradís memory... apparently... it went over big as Anna was thrilled and already has the picture of Brad on the wall. Just a few days ago on Jan 11th, we received a thank you letter from Carol..You can read it by clicking HERE Get a hanky handy.

Again.. thanks everyone for making this happen in such a big way..

What's new at Pirates' Lair?

We have a new payment feature on our website thanks to Paypal. It is now setup where you do NOT have to be a Paypal member to use their service. It's all magic to me so I'm not sure how it works, but they tell me it's even easier than it was before... Now any non-member can pay with the on-site Paypal buttons using ANY of your credit cards. Ahhh. progress...

2. Due to the previously mentioned criminally insane price increase from Germany.. fueled by a strong Euro, I am reluctantly pulling the Verholen Quick Shift Kit off our menu. While I think it's a great product and works flawlessly... IMHO... the price they are asking is not reasonable. While I love making a buck as much as the next guy, this is just blatant price gouging to the consumer and I won't be a part of it.

3. Like losing your hair or bad acting from Jan Michael Vincent... some things are inevitable...As of this week we are now offering Kendon Trailers Yea.. yea.. some of you "manly" men would NEVER tow... but some do. Have heard nothing but good from people who own them. One of the http://www.i-bmw.com/ regulars brought one of these fold up/fold down trailers to the last Deals Gap Rally and I was impressed...
We also are wanting to add at least one covered/inclosed trailer to our product line and are seeking advice from those lucky enough to have one. If anyone has opinions as to a specific brand.. we would appreciate any advice or feedback or suggestions.

4. We now have the new Hyper-Lite 3-Way Kits in stock This BMW designated kit consists of 2 modules with 16 Light Emitting Diodes (LED) in each module. Each module is wired independently for Brake Lights, Running Lights, and Turn Signals. The brake lights and running lights are contained in one half of the module, and are RED when engaged. The turn signals are in the second half of the module, and are AMBER when turned on. To make you even more visible to the SUV bearing down on you, your brake lights will flash for a few seconds and then go solid if you choose by clipping just one wire. and Yes.. they are EVO compatible. I have one of these kits on my MV and it rocks!

5. As we are now authorized to carry the entire Wunderlich line of products....Looks like the first thing on the menu will be the Passenger Footrest Lowering Kit . Waiting for the first shipment to arrive. Web page to follow..

6. Just heard from Reevu. Testing is almost complete and all looks good. As mentioned in the last newsletter, the Reevu MSX-1 Helmet has a series of non-breakable mirrors made somehow into the rear that projects a rear view image across the top front of your visor allowing the rider a full view of what's behind them... We have filled out all the paperwork,.... just waiting for approval. Is it comfortable? is it quiet? is it attractive? How much will it cost? Ginger or MaryAnn? All unknown at this time and believe me.. if it's a piece o' crap we'll bail on the offer, but if it's a top quality lid and it actually works.. it will be invaluable to many .. especially those of us with hard core sport bikes where the only thing we see in our mirrors is our elbows or occasionally flashing blue lights... .

7. Amber will be a representative for Pirates' Lair at the Honda Hoot being held in Knoxville, Tn. June 22nd-26th. She'll be hawking our new ST1300 Stealth Backrests which is the world's ONLY backrest that fits this bike as well as whatever she feels like carrying down..Have not secured a booth yet.. may be inside.. may be out... Y'all come by and see her.

8. Our MV Agusta section is officially on-line. This may not interest most BMW people but it gives me wood. and we all know.. "wood is good." Will probably not make a freakin' penny on this project.. but I'm giving it my best shot. Already have some exclusive products that should rock any F4 or Brutale owner's world including the worlds' first MV Throttlemeister developed just for us and sold exclusively by us. It's good to be the king.. Being urged by the microscopic MV community to organize an MV F4 Blue Ridge Rally... that would be interesting..


Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2004 /

Word from a few different sources including Rider Magazine and Motorrad say there's gonna be a big BMW Rally at the Biltmore Estate here in Asheville, NC at http://www.biltmore.com/ supposedly in May or June 2004. The Biltmore has graciously agreed to open up a large area of their estate for campers. In case you are unfamiliar with this place.. it's the bomb.. think Hearst Castle luxurious. Very scenic.. a huge tourist attraction here on the east coast.. IMHO.. it should be an excellent place for a rally with mountain roads within 10 minutes... will probably have some sort of gathering here at the 'Lair... Details to come...

The 2004 K12 Hill Country Rally will be held on April 8-11, 2004 in Kerrville, Tx. Barry Gibbs, the "seasoned" rally organizer (and former PR advisor for Michael Jackson) is now taking reservations for the rally to be held at Inn of the Hills in Kerrville. Amber and I are gonna try to make it this year. Mark those dates on your calendar right now. The Hill Country Rally is one of the best K1200RS rallies to be held anywhere. Great roads, no traffic, Texas hospitality, and the largest roadkill you'll ever see.. Check it out at http://www.tbmwsr.com/

The 2004 K12 Blue Ridge Parkway Rally has been planned for May 6-9, 2004 and will be held at the Inn at Afton in Charlottesville, VA at http://www.theinnatafton.com/index1.html-ssi or (800) 860-8559.) Rally planners have locked in 108 rooms / Rate = $50 a night. Reference "BMW" when calling. Register at www.abrahamson.net/brpr2004/index.htm I'll be there

The 5th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally is already scheduled!! Tapoco Lodge is reserved for Sep 30th - Oct 3rd, 2004. As we did in 2003, Fontana Village and the Microtel Inn will be able to handle overflow. When contacting Tapoco about lodging mention K12RS BMW, or they may say they are full when actually it's reserved for "us". 828.498.2435 or 800.822.5083

New How-To Tips ...
Just added a new How to Survive On Your Motorcycle tip (#60) sent in by the quasi-esteemed Kevin Harvey from Idaho. Will it save your life.. read it and see..

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and I'll add it on.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

Guess that kinda wraps this one up. In case you haven't noticed the banner on our website, Pirates' Lair will be closed for one week from Jan 27th to Feb 2nd for a long overdue vacation. Take care.. ride safe...stay warm...see you in my mirrors..

PS.. Before we sail off into the sunset. If anyone out there has sold their K12RS/GT or just wants their hallowed name OFF my VERY private and 100% confidential e-mail notification list.... just let me know by simply writing the words "REMOVE MY FREAKIN' NAME" in your reply and your name will disappear faster than a Starship in the Mutari Nebula.

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues