"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around the 1st or 15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S/R world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it.

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek, amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment. So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: October/November 2006 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the day.....

The leather clad, dark haired stranger slowly swings open the bar room door.. stands for a second surveying the place.. then walks in. It's a hell hole. The place is run down, dirty, and full of the meanest looking thugs in Mexico.. All look like killers and are. All eyes turn to the stranger carrying nothing but a guitar case...Coincidentally, a few hours before they had heard a story about a traveling musician .. a musician carrying a guitar case full of weapons..
Bartender: What do you want?
El Mariachi: I'm just looking for work.
Bartender: There's no work here.
El Mariachi: I see. Is there something to drink?
Bartender: Is there something in the case?
El Mariachi: Yeah.
Bartender: What?
El Mariachi: A copy of the latest Cheesy Pirates Lair Newsletter... and a guitar. Sure you don't want to hear me play before you say there's no work?
Bartender: We just want to see what's in the case. If it's like you say... ...drink all you want.
El Mariachi:... but I told you already. I'm a musician. This is my guitar.
Bartender: Don't touch it! Get him away! Hurry.
Mexican thugs brandishing guns swarm El Mariachi. One snatches his guitar case, lays it on the floor,.... slowly opens it..
Bartender: What's in it?
Mexican Thug: A guitar.. and some cheesy looking papers written in English.
Bartender: We heard stories about a case full of guns. I know. Just had to make sure.
El Mariachi:
I understand.
The bar thugs, relieved that this isn't the feared traveling killer turn and start to go back to their nefarious business.. The bartender relaxes . The thug , still kneeling by the guitar, turns back and speechlessly watches the fake facing on the guitar slowly open on its own to reveal ... guns.. lots of guns...!
Mexican Thug: (Yelling.). It's him! .. All eyes turn back to the stranger...
El Mariachi: Well, yes. It's me. I'm not against you, so keep it down. Keep it down. I'm just looking for a man who calls--.
Bartender: Watch him!
El Mariachi: I'm looking for a man who calls himself " Bucho." That's all. I don't want to kill you. ..but you had to do it the hard way.

El Mariachi / Antonio Banderas .. Bartender / Cheech Marin ... Desperado 1995

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

The 7th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally A Success!!

The lucky seventh Deals Gap K12 Rally was again the place to be last month. For the seventh straight year..except for some travel-to rain on Thursday....perfect weather, perfect temps, and bare breasted, sexually promiscuous women cavorting around.. at least in my room. Among our group.. the usual suspects showed in all their aging glory along with some new faces.. many female. I counted over 70 bikes and at least 10 couples. Many legends (in their own minds) of the K12 community showed..but just as many were mysteriously absent. I won't name names for fear of blowing their cover in their respective witness protection programs.

Surprisingly, unlike this years Texas Hill Country K12 Rally where only 2-4 K1200S bikes showed.. I believe the ratio of K1200S to K1200RS/GT at DGR7 was almost 50/50... Could be wrong.. and ZERO K1200Rs which leads me to believe there is a God!!

Also.. unlike past years, we experienced much cooler temps... high 60's-low 70s in the day and low 40's at night.. Perfect leather and/or electric vest weather. For pics of the rally check out the Pirates Lair Photo Gallery . Look for the album cleverly titled.. Deals Gap 7 K12 Rally 9/29/06

If you missed it you should be kicking yourself in the cajones (not an easy thing to do) as it was most excellent. A personal thanks to Tim and Susan and of course the guys at www.I-BMW.com for handling the arrangements for yet another kick-ass year.

Lastly.. The Tapoco Lodge is already taking reservations for 2007's rally. (See rally news below) I strongly suggest you call and book NOW or be stuck out in Robbinsville with a 15 mile ride to the rally site like many attendees this year. Amber and I are already booked!!If you can't make it.. There will be a waiting list so it'll not cost you anything.

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Ducati ST3 vs BMW K1200RS vs BMW K1200S: Lets Get Reeeeady to Rrrrrumble..

With the recent demise of my dream to purchase an old Honda CBX (read the full CBX story here or in the current issue of Backroads Magazine) I decided to go in a completely different (and sane) direction... Bought myself my first Ducati. This article is in response to a few requests to post a comparison between the new Ducati 2006 ST3 and the venerable BMW K1200RS, which I owned until about 6 months ago when I sold it to buy a new 2006 K1200S. A peripheral comparison to the K1200S is included.

As technically they are all 3 sport touring bikes, .. why not?? While this will be like comparing apples to oranges to nuclear weapons... I've given it my best shot. I've listed all the categories that I think are worth mentioning with a brief overview explaining my rationale.. then listed my own quasi-Godlike opinion as to the winner in a 1st, 2nd, 3rd place format. So.. without further adieu.. Lets get reeeeady to rrrrrumble.. For the full article.. Click Here...If You Dare..

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Stop The Presses!! New K12 Bike Unveiled at Intermot! The K1200R Sport!

Whats this?? What's this? BMW must has been keeping this info in Al Gore's lock box as nobody saw this coming. The new K1200R Sport was unveiled at the recent INTERMOT 2006 Show and unlike the standard K1200R.. I LIKE the new sport. The following info was pilfered from www.rubbermag.com/

As the sister model of the K1200R, the new K1200R Sport features the same drivetrain/suspension as well as a maximum output of 163 hp and a curb weight of just 531 lb.

Unlike the standard R, the new Sport has a Semi-fairing with integrated headlight mounted firmly on the frame. Developed in the wind tunnel, the front fairing made of plastic elements is perfectly matched to the motorcycle, combining good looks with equally good protection from wind and weather. Defined air guidance around the side spoilers guides the wind smoothly around the rider, reducing wind pressure on his head and upper body.

Despite its compact and slender dimensions, the fairing on the K1200R Sport offers significant safety and protection even at high speeds enhanced greatly over the standard. And apart from extra comfort, the engineers at BMW Motorrad have also succeeded in enhancing the motorcycle's dynamic potential, with the rider benefiting from excellent wind protection above all at high speeds.

The strikingly designed headlight in clear glass look and with freeform technology integrated in the fairing is the same as on the sporting R1200S, the asymmetric design of the headlight alone showing clearly that this is a genuine BMW. The reflectors are tailored geometrically to the rider's illumination requirements, interacting together with the H7 bulbs arranged next to one another to provide excellent light intensity and illumination on the road ahead.

Technical Highlights of the new K1200R Sport:
· Semi-fairing mounted firmly on the frame and a new headlight
· High-performance four-cylinder inline 4 , maximum output (163 hp), maximum torque 127 Nm (94 lb-ft).
· Aluminum suspension with Duolever front and EVO-Paralever at the rear.
· 531 lb in road trim, perfect balance ensured by a low center of gravity, supreme handling qualities.
· Relaxed seating position for an active riding experience.
· Onboard network with CAN-bus technology.
· Electronically adjustable ESA suspension available as an option.
· Latest-generation Integral ABS (semi-integral version) available as an option.
· Tire pressure control (TPC) as an option.
· Wide range of optional extras and sports accessories.
· New: BMW Motorrad High Performance Parts for sporting customization.

What's New In the K1200RS/GT/S/R No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and 02-05 GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.K-Bikes.com , www.I-BMW.com, and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. WooHoo!! Although the bike is out of production here's some news that should make every K1200RS owner rejoice and praise the death of a few trees... Clymer finally has their 640 page Shop Manual on the market for the 1998-2005 BMW K1200RS, GT & LT ..Yes, my fellow pirates... it covers EVERY model year K1200RS, first generation GT, and the K1200LT .. all in the same freakin book!! All for about 1/2 the cost of what your local extortionist...er..dealer wants for the German version. Unlike the factory manual.. the Clymer version has detailed wiring info.. You can get yours from Clymer's website or from those guys at Pirates Lair. This is the best money you can spend if you own a K12..

2. My favorite company..(I'm kidding... boy am I kidding...) Corbin at www.Corbin.com has just started on an all new seat for the 2006+ K1200GT... and you just know it'll fit the bike like a glove and be reasonably priced.. I hear that along with colored rib striping, a backrest, and lowering preference, a bottle of AstoGlide will be an option. I just hope it's the kind that warms on contact.

3. For those of you who are interested in how a MAB Turbo is installed on the K1200S .. check this out.. This K1200S install was done at Mab Power Workshop..250 HP's 'Damage'= 7980,- € Thx, Locus of Borg.

4. I've become a HUGE fan of Powerlet Products. Super customer service and a product line of electronic goodies to die for. If you are wanting to wire a GPS or radar detector to your bike and can't find the necessary hardware to do it like a pro.. They've probably got what you need. I just received a waterproof cigarette socket with in-line fuse) from them for a custom GPS install I'm doing on my new Ducati and it's absolutely first class.

5. Looking for frame sliders for your K1200S? Me, too.. Here's some from Wild Hair Accessories that LOOK wonderful.. No drilling involved. Looks like they are sold in pairs in either black or white..I have ordered a pair for evaluation.

6. K1200S, K1200R, K1200GT owners... a heads up: The final drive is no longer maintenance free for 2007+ models It appears that BMW has added a drain plug and are requiring a fluid flush of the rear drive unit at the 600 mile service only. Quote from BMW in Germany:
"Ongoing monitoring and long-term tests have confirmed that wearin the final drive can be further minimized over the service life of the motorcycle if the oil is changed once during the 600 mile service. Consequently, this oil change has been incorporated into the maintenance schedule as of model year 2007. "

As there must be some reasoning for the Germans to now decide that a flush is required at the 600 mile mark on the 07's.. I wonder why they aren't urging us 2005-06 owners to change ours?? Hmmm...That's not very comforting.

7. We just learned that the SportBikeCam Mount will NOT fit the second generation 2006+ BMW K1200GT. Apparently the dash is too tall for the tank mounted camera to see over it. Bummer. The BMW version does fit every model year BMW K1200RS/GT & K1100 and K1200S/K1200R.. They are testing a mount with a higher extention lift as we speak.

8. I just heard from a credible source in the motherland that the K1200R Crash bars offered by SW-Motech not only will protect your bike if it goes down but might actually CAUSE your bike to go down. Apparently once installed, your ground clearance in certain situations can be so compromised that the crash bar can actually touch down before your pegs and in at least one confirmed incident.. caused a rider to go down.... We also hear that SW-Motech now puts a warning on them... Be forewarned..

What's New at Pirates' Lair?

1. Track day junkie? Deals Gap warrior? Alcoholic? Want to protect your K1200S or K1200R when/if it goes down?? Sure you do.. We just got our first shipment of K1200S/R Sliders from R & G Racing of the UK and they look killer! I already have them mounted on my S. We have Front Fork Sliders, Upper Frame Sliders, and Drive Shaft Protectors. Not only are they functional, but they look trick as hell. Very sleek. Install takes all of 2 minutes on the fork and shaft protectors. Better safe than sorry...

2.. Looking for frame sliders for your K1200S that do NOT require drilling in your upper faring ? Me, too.. As per the blurb above, we've contacted the US importer of GSG Moto Frame Sliders and they're sending us a pair for evaluation. No drilling or mods involved. FYI.. they are sold in pairs in either black or white..and did I mention they actually look great on the bike??

3. In last months most holy newsletter I reported that the ZTechnik TechMount that we've been selling for the K1200S, and R also fit the new GT. .. WRONG. The geniuses at ZTechnik were wrong. Doh!! However... we now have a GT specific version.

4. The new K1200GT Two Bros Exhaust Slip On page is up. It's a damn fine looking pipe!! More power, Scotty!

5. As of 10/12/06 we dropped both the 3-Way Hyper-Lite Kit and the Screamer Radar Detector Warning Device from our product line. Why? Slow sales and making room for new products. Had nothing to do with quality. If you are interested in still buying either product, let me know and I'll forward a link to the manufacturer.

6. Clymer finally has their 640 page Shop Manual on the market for the 1998-2005 BMW K1200RS, GT & LT ..Yes, my fellow pirates... it covers EVERY model year K1200RS, first generation GT, and the K1200LT .. all in the same freakin book!! All for about 1/2 the cost of the factory version. Unlike the factory manual.. the Clymer version has wiring info.. This is the best money you can spend if you own one of these bikes. We have them in stock!

7. I have posted the first pictures of our upcoming R1200RT Stealth Backrest in the Pirates Lair Photo Gallery . So far I have only 3 shots uploaded....These should be on the market around Christmas.. Look for the photo album cleverly titled.. BMW R1200RT Stealth Backrest: First Look

8. As of January 1st, 2007 all prices on all our Stealth Backrests will be rise a little due to material cost increases on the manufacturing end. FYI.. the cost of stainless steel has gone through the roof these last few months... The increase should be about $15ea or less depending on which version.

Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2007

Hillbilly K12 Roundup... Jasper, Arkansas (Contributed by James (Plumb Loco) Myrick aka James of Texas over at www.I-BMW.com )

FYI.. there will be no 2007 Texas Hill Country Rally due to the fact that the resort where we've had it for the last few years simply booked up for the time it's usually held so as an alternative.. it'll be in Jasper, Ark. The following info was provided by our good buddy, J Myrick.
I am happy to let everybody know.......We will be staying at the Gordon Motel in Beautiful downtown Jasper. We have All 18 rooms there but you have to call and give them a Mastercard or Visa and phone number. The number is 1-800-477-8509 and tell them you are with the BMW Motorcycle group ...October 18 ( Wed.) to 22 ( Sun.). We have a Wonderful rate of $ 40 + tax for a room with 2 beds ( 12 rooms ) and $ 45 + tax for a room with 3 beds ( 6 rooms ) for a total of 18.
So do not wait to long or you will be SOL . They have a 7 day cancellation policy as well. I have my room so now there is 1 less = 17 left

Lets enjoy another roundup ...Hillbilly style. Welcome back to the Fifties Motel way of life. www.gordonmotel.com The cabins are a few miles down the road and are NOT part of this and they do not handle reservations by website...Much Obliged ...Hope to see Y'all.

The 2007 Deals Gap K12 Rally Sept 27-29 (Contributed by our good buddy, Sir Tim Hudspeth aka CBNFVR over at www.I-BMW.com )

Tapoco Lodge at Deal's Gap again for 2007, Sept 27th - 29th. It won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!!
No sign-up sheet . Just reserve a room and be there! If you were there this year and didn't sign up for 2007, call Tapoco NOW before someone else gets your room. Most of us from this year already have a room reserved, so it's not too soon to plan.

Friday noon meal (at 1:00pm) will be at the Troll Restaurant in Helen, Ga (under the bridge)
Saturday noon meal (at 1;00 pm) will be at the Bistro, Telico Plains, Tennessee (western end of the Cherohala)

As usual, Fri and Sat evening will consist of tall tales, video worthy of Americas Most Wan.. er Funniest, and food in the Lodge. No set times.

Alternate Lodging in Robbinsville, NC. Microtel Motel.
Closest dealer (err, one in Knoxville yet?) Touring Sport BMW Greenville, SC

How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

No contributions this month.. .but it wouldn't hurt to re-read the ones we have!!! Could these tips save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive on your Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

BMW How-To Section

Nothing new this month..

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues