"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Each month or so,
when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy K12 newsletter to inform
the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT world and of
course... Pirates' Lair. How else are
you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via
e-mail to your home or office just let us know at email@example.com .. otherwise
you'll get 90% of it here. Why only 90%? Because I tend to tell the brutal
truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing
"my opinion" into your home, office or cell .. I have no desire to slam,
insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless
they blatantly deserve it.
The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: Sept 2004 Issue
|Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed K12 Riders.... ..A famous (and slightly edited) movie moment to start the day......|
Suddenly, The sound of a man clearing his throat. Everyone turns to the door behind them. Mr. Kobayashi a tall, slim, well groomed man stands in the hall. He has a briefcase in his hand. He smiles politely.
Keaton / Gabriel Byrnel Kobayashi / Pete Postlethwaite The Usual Suspects / 1995
|Yes, it's time again you, the huddled masses.. Time to invade your personal space and clutter your in-box, but with the quasi-noble intent of informing you of what's new in the BMW K1200RS/GT community and... at Pirates' Lair.|
News From The Front... Deals
Gap Rally 2004!!
If you are coming from up north via the Blue Ridge Pky, be forewarned... Due to Hurricane Francis parts of the parkway are closed so minor detours will be in your future... Road closures are as follows: Milepost 317 near Linville Falls to mile 325, from Milepost 344 at NC 80 near Marion to Milepost 355 at Mt. Mitchell State Park, and from Milepost 412 at US 276 south of Mt. Pisgah to Milepost 443 at US 23/74 near Waynesville
This will be the last K12 Rally of the year and probably the biggest... be there!! Amber and I will. Also...Not that it will matter to anyone, but we are told that a few K12'ers (including myself) will be bringing their "other" bike as well. We have heard that one Duc, one or two Aprilia's, and possibly 4 MV Agusta F4's will be in attendance.
BTW.. As we did at the last Texas Hill Country Rally... Pirates Lair will bestow a FREE Pirates' Lair Hat to anyone who receives a speeding ticket while attending the rally or on the way to the rally....Why? Because we're Pirates!...and in our world.. some bad behavior is rewarded.. Arrrrrrgg
Tail of the Dragon Warriors, Lend Me Your Gears
I'm working on a new page for my website called How To Survive the Tail of the Dragon .
As I'm lucky enough to live in the Deals Gap area and now consider myself a veteran of the Dragon, I thought I'd share some of my own tips to the newbies/pros/motards amongst us (and rally attendees) who may be facing it for the first time.. or the hundredth time. I'd like to ask for other tips/contributions/epiphanies from any other "Tail of the Dragon" veterans... Just look over my tips and if you have something worth contributing or some gratuitous nude photo's, e-mail it directly to me and I'll add it with full credit going to you.
Latest on the K1200S
Good: It's fast,
it feels MUCH lighter than the RS, the electronic suspension works as
promised. Pricing will start at $15K in the US and a non-ABS version will
be optional.. Yeeessss!!
For what''s it's
worth.. Like Michael, I do NOT understand why BMW would put the bike in
the hands of testers and journalists with these glaring problems. I know
the Japanese wouldn't.. Perhaps they will "tweak" the bike before it hits
showroom floors.. One can only hope. I have heard from a few sources that
a memo from BMW has been circulating to US dealers stating that production
of the K12S has been delayed to early 2005, and they likely won't see any
customer bikes until Spring. Seems the commonly reported problems have put
the kabosh on their production schedule. Sounds to me like the
"uber-brains" in the motherland may have wised up and are listening to the
less-than-positive test reports that are showing up in US and Brit
What's new in the K1200RS/GT News...aka.. the No Wheel-Spin Zone
While the mirrors on
most K bikes are much better than those on most sport bikes .. better
mirrors are always preferable.. There's a new product in town....MultiVex
Mirrors Their print ad sounds impressive. Used standard on
many Indy-type race cars including the Penski
Cars which won Indy in 1st and Second place..! These are said to
eliminate the blind spot... and they do! I just evaluated a pair on my
Verholen aftermarket, fairing mounted mirrors and surprisingly... I'm
impressed. They offer a pair at $60 for the 5" x 3.1" shape mirrors that
come on some R1100S and K1200RS/GT's (which is also the same size as the
Verholen fairing mounted mirrors) I don't see one for the Mickey-mouse
round shape that some of you are burdened with. I posted a Full
Review HERE. Will we carry these from our website? No...While
they do work as advertised with MY mirrors, I have heard from a friend
with a K12RS with standard mirrors and his didn't fit at all. Also... I do
NOT like the quasi-funhouse visual effect..(unless it's due to some very
tasty 'urb) and expect a few people may not like it either even if they do
fit.. However.. I am keeping my pair for further
2. There's a NEW #1 Radar Detector on the market according to http://www.radartest.com/ Once there, click on Shootout! BEL v Escort v Valentine.. and it's not who you think it is... Can't wait to see what other publications say...
3. Recently I was raving .. actually drooling about a new helmet about to appear on the market.. the Reevu with the rear view mirror designed right into the helmet with in-visor display... well.. here's the update on that... I spoke with 3 people that actually tested them in Europe and all 3 said that they'd pass on them..While they did say they were quiet and comfy, they also said the mirror viewing area was tiny.. about 1" across and said that your head had to be in the EXACT position to actually view what's behind you... (which was my main concern). Pass..
I also had a run-in with the manufacturer.. We had words.. long story. First they said we'd be on a short list to import them.. then they said they couldn't even send us samples (at full retail) and then they got pissed that one of their Swiss distributors said they WOULD send us samples... Geezz. I told them to come back when they got their s$@* together... As far as I know.. they are NOT in Euro stores yet...or could just start arriving.
While I think that
it's a GREAT idea and could revolutionize the entire industry.. this first version obviously needs to be
5. We recently heard from ONE fellow K12'er that the BB Chip coming out of Germany works very well with the Staintune Exhaust.. You can check out the BB Chip at http://www.bbpower.de/ So far he's the only person we have spoken to that has tried this combination. If anyone else has tried this combo.. would love to hear opinions.
6. Verholen of Germany has a new windshield air deflector available on their website. It's adjustable to 115MM in height.. Looks like it attaches to the end of almost ANY windshield and slides up or down.... Doesn't look as "bodacious" as you might think... Once you get to their site.. click on the British flag, them click on K1200RS.. it's one of the first items on the page... If anyone actually orders one of these.. Would love to hear comments/opinions..
7. The Legal Speeding Sport Bike Radar Detector Mount is an excellent radar mount option for these bikes. Should be perfect for cordless detectors.. IMHO. It secures the radar detector to the underside of the windshield, where it is out of the way of the rider, tank bag, and handlebars, but it is in a location that is very easy for the rider to see even when he is tucked down. The anodized aluminum bracket has a Velcro strap and buckle, so it will fit detectors of any size. The only downside... Drilling is involved...
8. A good friend of mine, David Ashi has just launched a site, http://www.ant-racing.com/ as a distributor of clothing and accessories. This site actually will help support his primary product, a rear view camera system for motorcycles that can also be found through the same url, or directly at http://www.ant-systems.net/ It looks to be the best rear view camera system on the market... Check it out...
9. Attention storage hungry GT owners.. A fellow inventor has developed some lockable fairing storage compartments for the GT. Cost is about $150-180 a pair. I have not seen them up close but will e-mail pics if anyone is interested or you can see them for yourself by going to www.eBay.com and type in item # 2489257990. He has asked if we'd be interested in selling these... I'll wait for feedback first.... Opinions?
new at Pirates' Lair?
1. Remember those Short Shift Kits and Ohlin Steering Damper Kits I was planning on offering???.. BOTH items are off the menu.. I decided to NOT carry them when the guy we were dealing with disrespected my wife and self imploded on the phone.... Rather than deal with them, we have canceled all orders with them, refunded all pre-paid orders, removed them from our Christmas list, and will be removing the "I love Short Shifts" tattoos Amber and I recently had put on our butts.. You have to draw the line somewhere, pilgrims.. no matter how much $$ is involved.
2. The Carbon Fiber Front Fenders have just started to trickle in. We're only getting a handful at a time for whatever reason. The Austrian import has a perfect pattern match for the Pyramid Huggers we import from the UK which is cool, although the quality is not quite as good as the British huggers. As this is the only game in town... it should do for most. Even me with my anal standards. Weighing in at just a few ounces, these are as light as mountain air and a perfect fit for every model year K1200RS, the K1200GT, and the R1150R. We think these are being shipped via the Jamaican rowing team..
3. Our new Pirates' Lair K12RS/GT Headlight Protector Kits are now available. Have you ever priced a K12 headlight? Be afraid. Unlike the other kits on the market that are hard plastic attached via Velcro, our kit is an adhesive backed vinyl with a laminated acrylic coating. We are assured that it will withstand a pellet rifle shot from 20 feet with absolutely no damage to the lens! However, I will NOT be testing this advertised claim unless I can stretch one across Chris Heilman's face.... Our kit is optically clear, treated not to yellow, and pre-cut to fit your K12RS or GT. Spray positioning liquid is included. Absolutely invisible when on the bike.. Claude Rains would approve.. So far.. these are selling faster than pin-joints at the last Phish concert..
4. Our latest offering...the Marc Parnes K12RS/GT Wheel Balance Kit Some of us choose to mount and balance our own tires.. Why? Because we hate to pay the local extortionist.. er.. dealer $60a tire to mount, scratch, and balance our tires when we can mount, scratch, and balance our own tires. Of all the balance kits on the market, this is the one I own and use. Become one with your bike.. Ahhhummmmmm..
5. If you've ever wanted to shoot video's and/or still pics from your K12 but couldn't figure out how to mount the camera..... we've got you covered.. We just made a deal with http://www.sportbikecam.com/ to sell their waay cool camera/video mounts for the KRS & GT and/or the MV F4. Looks very simple.. Light, convenient and easy to use...reasonably priced..The Sportbikecam camera mounting system appears to be perfect for professional quality action footage or home video garage porn.
6. The new Pirates' Lair Hats are In Stock!... Wearing one of the new hats will guarantee that you will have longer, spine tingling sex, and.. increase size by at least 2 inches (this applies to men only.. Doh!) or your money back...Note: Guarantee does not apply to married men.
7. While a shift lever lowering block is included with every peg lowering kit we sell, now and then we get requests for them from people with canoes for feet. For years we simply referred people to Bob's BMW, but in yet another purely capitalistic effort to pad our coiffures even further...we have decided to carry these as well.. it's a simple bolt on item that lowers the shift lever pedal exactly 1" http://pirateslair.net/Peg.htm See.. we're looking out for your needs...
Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2005 /
The 2005 Hill Country Rally has already been scheduled for the following dates... April 7-10 No other information is available at this time, but I would surmise that it will be in the aging...er.. skillful hands of our friend and former fashion consultant to Bjork.. Barry Gibbs. Stay tuned..
How-To Section at http://pirateslair.net/Howto.htm
How To Survive on a Motorcycle at http://pirateslair.net/SAFETY~1.htm
If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and I'll add it on.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.
Guess that smells like the end... Take care.. ride safe...best wishes for a cool summer...see you in my mirrors..