"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around the 1st or 15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S/R world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it. Also... something to keep in mind... My language in the email subscription version may offend the meek. Subscribe at your own risk. The on-line version is a bit more... PC..

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment. So it is written.. so let it be done....

Lastly, our subscriber newsletter also has all our specials listed.. sales, blems, close-outs, scratch & dent items, etc. If you'd like a list of our current specials, just email me and I'll make it happen.

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: March 2009

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the month.....

Toadie: Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Roller!

Humungus: I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war. Look at what remains of your gallant scouts. Why? Because you're selfish! You hoard your gasoline.
Don't listen to him! (Toadie runs over and punches the prisoner in the gut temporarily shutting him up.)
Now, my prisoners say you plan to take your gasoline out of the Wasteland. You sent them out this morning to find a vehicle. A rig big enough to haul that fat tank of gas. What a puny plan! Look around you. This is the Valley of Death.
Prisoner: Give them nothing! Blow it up!
Wez runs over and head butts one of the prisoners, silencing him. Out of nowhere a feral child pops out of a hole and throws a razor sharp boomerang at Wez missing him and killing his boy toy partner. Wez in disbelief holds his dying partner in his hands... then goes crazy with rage..
Wez:  We go in! We kill! We'll kill them! He has to be restrained by the Humungus
Humungus: Be still my dog of war! l understand your pain. We've all lost someone we love. But we do it my way! Fear is our ally... the gasoline will be ours. Then, you shall have your revenge. He motions for some underlings ...Take him away!
Humungus: We're here for a purpose. We come with an offer. No! No more talk!
Humungus: There has been too much violence, too much pain. None here are without sin. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me the pump , the oil , the gasoline, the March issue of the Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletter, and the whole compound and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the Wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.

Just walk away!
Toadie / Max Phipps ... Humungus / Kjell Nilsson ... Wez / Vernon Wells ...  The Road Warrior  1981

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

Picture Of The Month! Dolomites Majesty (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our March POTM was contributed by our German buddy, ManfredH.. This spectacular shot was taken at the top of Pso Gardena in Italy (Dolomites.) Damn!

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT and B. In focus.

Click For Larger Image If You Dare..
Click Image for a Larger View

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USAA Insurance Will No Longer Insure New Motorcycles: Another Nail In Our Coffin: Part Two

As you may recall in last months cheesy newsletter, I was spewing vehement chunks of verbiage concerning my indisputable views that the demise of motorcyclist's rights are imminent. You may still have spital on your shoes from my raving diatribe. Sorry about that. Hope they weren't suede. Well.. after that report I received the following info from a good friend of mine ..Robert Rehkopf. Thought I'd share with his permission..

I just bought a 2004 R1100S and as I have done for the past 34 years I called USAA to add the new motorcycle to my coverage... WRONG!! An unpublished policy adapted in December indicates that USAA has quit insuring any new motorcycles. You can keep the one's you have, but USAA will not insure any additional motorcycles. USAA is sending every new motorcycle request to Progressive. I got the same story from two representatives and one supervisory representative, and my initial appeal to cover my new bike was denied by an underwriter. And yes, I have a outstanding driving record.

I just want insurance!!

It is time to call anyone you know at USAA that has any influence with the MG Joe Robles CEO of USAA and protest this new unpublished policy. I have contacted Ray Zimmerman BMW MOA Executive Director whose going to contact USAA and I have contacted Benny Suggs head of HOG. If you can help to reverse this no new motorcycle policy please let me know off line at CaptRehkopf@comcast.net . Also, let me know if this has happened to you?

Since posting the above thread I have found that USAA representatives have lied to their members: I was personally told by Ms. Holland, a supervisor with USAA, that the policy went into effect DEC 08, and I have since found several individuals who were denied coverage long before DEC 08. I have also been told by a I-BMW board member that he can still get USAA coverage in CA. I am also suspicious of the policy because it has not been published or at the very least sent to the USAA motorcycle owner members to inform them of no new motorcycle coverage. USAA prides itself on not being owned by stockholders but 'members'. To me it seems they have lost their commitment to the founding principles of service, loyalty, honesty and integrity. Please write MG Joe Robles, CEO of USAA and let him know your feelings. It appears that USAA is using the divide and conquer approach and picking us motorcyclist off one at a time.
You can send your thoughts/complaints/soiled underwear to: USAA, Attn: MG Joe Robles, 9800 Fredericksburg Road, San Antonio, TX 78288

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BMW S1000RR: Latest Chub Inspiring News

Here's the latest on the 2009 BMW S1000RR, the road-going version of BMW's new World Superbike contender. Details are still coming in on the street version, but we've gathered these juicy facts.. It weighs 183kg or 403 lbs (dry), has a 999cc inline four and will cost €15,150 ($19,438 US) when it goes on sale in Germany early this summer. Also present are ABS brakes and traction control, both tuned to be performance, as well as safety enhancing.

In comparison, the Ducati 1198S, which is roughly equivalent on price, also uses traction control and will compete in SBK alongside the BMW S1000RR, weighs just 169kg (dry) and uses a 170bhp 1198cc v-twin. The ABS uses four switchable modes, presumable allowing riders to adapt the system to their needs by altering its level of sensitivity. No word on whether or not it can be switched completely off.

As for color options.. Thundergrey metallic, Acidgreen metallic, Mineral silver metallic, Alpinweiß/Lupinblau/Magmarot. What.. no black??

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A Revelation! BMW "Outsourced" K13 Engine!! (as seen at I-BMW.com)

From everything that's been said about the new K1300R, K1300GT, and the K1300S... it seems the engine comes in for the biggest share of comments and so far.. all good. The reason for that might well be the decision by BMW to think "outside-the-box" and use an independent tuner to improve the performance of the K13 engine. Take a look at this comment from an MCN review of the K1300R (which, BTW will NOT be imported into the USA.)

"The motor is the biggest single area of improvement over the previous model. Engineering development was handed over to the spanner magicians at Ricardo – the same firm that designed the gearbox for the 1000bhp Bugatti Veyron hypercar. This is the first time BMW has worked with Ricardo on one of its bikes. The result is a claimed 173bhp from an increased 1293cc four-cylinder motor that is much smoother with bundles of power and torque. It’s one of the best big-capacity motors on the road today combining lovely refinement with a racing engine snarl when pushed. And yes, it’s very, very, very fast."

Click For Larger Image!

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Transformation of a Menu: A Scary Task ... K1200S to K1300S

I'd imagine that Larry Talbot would agree that transformation can be a painful, scary thing. Now that the K1300S is showing up in dealer showrooms around the world and subsequently garages all over the US, I'm already getting lots of questions about which K1200S products on our menu will crossover and fit the K1300S. As you can imagine... it's a frightening task figuring this out. Have spent multiple hours over the last few weeks tweaking dozens and dozens of pages to now reflect our K1300S offerings and surprisingly that's coming along nicely. Just be patient for a few weeks before you start whacking me with your silver handled cane.. I'll get it done.

Fortunately, about 90% of the K12S accessories we've been selling will fit the new 2009 K1300S. As the 2009 K1300GT is already hitting the streets I'm also working on that product line as well. And...as I obviously have loads of time on my hands, I'm also working on the K1300R section even though that bike will not be imported into the US. First things first. As this goes to press about 90% of our K1200S / K1300S Product Line is on-line and ready for business. Just to wet your appetite, the following parts are just a few examples of what we already have for the 2009 K1300S. Stay tuned as we have more to come..

* Verholen Bar Risers * ZTechnik Carbon Fiber Tank Protector * Pirates' Lair Custom Torque Arm
* Verholen Hubcaps * Ilmberger Carbon Fiber Solo Seat Cowling * Pit-Bull Motorcycle Stands
* TechSpec Gripster Tank Grips * Pirates' Lair Stealth Radar Detector Mount * Engage Quick-Lock Tankbag
* R & G Racing Fork Sliders * Stebel Nautilus Compact Air Horn * Easy Helmet Locks
* R & G Racing Shaft Protector * Clear Alternatives Clear Blinker Lens Kits * Throttlemeister
* R & G Racing Case Protectors * Oberon Billet Aluminum Gas Cap * ZTechnik Radar Detector Tech Mount
* Brake / Shift Lever Extensions * MRA Windshields / (4) Versions * Cee Bailey Headlight Covers
* SportBikeCam Mount * Hornig Polished Instrument Rings * Marc Parnes Wheel Balance Kit

"Even a man who of pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a K1300S owner when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.".. Maleva.. the old gypsy woman.
Do I Make You Horny?

What's New In the K12 No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and first generation GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. Ahhh.. scenic, mosquito infested Florida. The duly elected geniuses in power have determined that you can ride without a helmet (should you be a moron) and that's OK... but if you have your license plate displayed incorrectly ... you're a minion of Satan. In case you are thinking about visiting the sunshine state... here's Florida's New License Plate law in all it's Orwellian glory.. The plate must be at least 18" above the ground, be centrally located, be mounted horizontally, not vertically, be rigidly mounted, and be clearly visible from any angle behind the motorcycle. This means that plates mounted forward of the rear wheel, or on either side of the motorcycle, are in violation of the law. Basically, the plate needs to be in its original location. Also, if a plate is mounted on a pivoting hanger it is in violation of this vehicle code. The first time violation of this code is a fine of $1,141.00. The second infraction costs $2,500.00, the third costs $5,000 and loss of motorcycle license endorsement for 10 years. Does this suck? or what?

Can you see me now?

2. If you are looking for a decent looking aftermarket windshield for your K1200R Sport.. Here's something new from Wunderlich Scroll down to the Sport Screen K1200R Sport.. Part Number: 8110127 @ $185.00. Looks pretty good. Comes in clear or tinted. I see they also have a few other choice items for the out-of-production Sport including some aluminum instrument rings and some bar end mirrors. Thx, Forrest

3. Do you have a baboon ass yet you weren't born a baboon? Then you must me a K1200S owner. I feel ya. I replaced the abomination of a stock K1200S taillight on my bike as soon as there was an alternative on the market. I've slept better since and can finally achieve full erections again. I bring this up as I'm sure there are many K1200S owners suffering from ED... hoping and praying that the new K1300S tail light which is both brighter AND actually attractive will fit on to their K1200S.. Well I hate to break the bad news but no.. they are NOT interchangeable. The connections are different. The K12 has, as you know, three connectors going into the tail section. The new one has a one-piece snap-in connector. I assume this has to do with the fact that the K1300S tail light has LED's. Sometimes life just ain't fair... and there is always Viagra.

4. Hate the K1300S tail rack? Wondering if the K12S handles fit the K1300S? Yes they do!.. the handles swap. Pretty much everything on the new bike can be swapped with the old (other than the main/side fairings). A customer also told me he pulled the nav and saddlebags right off of the K1200S and they went on perfectly on his new K1300S.

5. If you've ever dealt directly with Kisan.. (Tail Blazer, Vectralight, Signal Minder, etc, etc,) you might have spoken with Fulke Eagerton... Great guy.. Positive attitude. Always helpful. A man among men. Just got the following word from him.... "It is with sadness I have to let you know I will not be working with Kisan any more. As of March 1st I will be traveling with my family and expect to move to VA or CA ! It was a great ride, and I have all the faith in the world for Kisan in the future. I have decided to spend time with my grandson, Dante and slow down a bit ! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support and business you have sent my way in the past." Best wishes, Fulke. Live long and prosper.

6. The all new Laser Stealth HotCam 2 is finally in the states. (See blurb below). It's available in an extremely light-weight full carbon fiber version only. To hell with Viagra. If this doesn't give you a chub then you should donate your eyes to someone who can appreciate them. I'll probably try one of these on my own bike. Pirates' Lair is the first to have them. These will fit the K1200S, K1200R, R Sport, and the 2006-08 K1200GT. The same kit fits all these bikes. A removable silencer comes with each kit.

7. FYI, Valentine One users.. There ia an update available if your unit has V3.3 or earlier software. In Virginia V3.6 and earlier may not fully set off an alert in pop mode. The newer V3.861 loaded V1 with Ku turned on detects radar and the only slightly older 3.6 does not. Check your unit here:http://www.valentine1.com/upgrades/

What's New at Pirates' Lair?

1. O, Canada.. Et tu, Brute?: Part 2.. In our Oct/Nov Cheesy newsletter I went off on a rant about how some of our Canadian customers were refusing to pay their customs fees on orders they had received from us. Those fees got kicked back on us. Amber had to track those customers down and we eventually recouped our doubloons. As all our Canadian customers know, these fees are NOT included in our pricing and are told as much prior to us shipping.

Due to the aforementioned Canadian apathy and the resulting headaches for Amber, we made a tough biz decision to actually stop offering ground service to Canada and for the last few months we've ONLY offered the super expensive FedEx Express. We hate taking such draconian measures as we have a lot of conscientious Canadian customers who choose not to ass-rape us, but we simply had no choice and in reality.. we shouldn't have been forced into that position in the first place. Unfortunately, I mistakenly thought that this would nip the problem in the bud.. I was wrong.

In the last few weeks we have received no less than 8 new notices from FedEx claiming again that many Canadian express customers are refusing to pay their customs fees resulting in a total of over $1100.US fees kicked back on us. Geezz. This really hurts. Not only our pocket books, but our feelings as shipping internationally is a major pain in the ass. Most US companies don't do it yet we go out of our way to accommodate our fellow riders. You know what's really strange? We ship as many products to Europe and Australia and Japan as Canada yet not one European .. not one Australian .. not one Japanese has ever tried to fuck us like this and I know for a fact that their duties are every bit as Orwellian as Canada's if not worse. . I just do NOT understand what the deal is with some Canadians..

So here's what's gonna happen ..Again, Amber is going to have to track these new people down and talk with them then (before we turn their names over to a collection agency)... A. We're gonna give them 2 weeks to pay their fees . If they don't we're gonna post their names, address, and email address in an upcoming newsletter. B. We're gonna stop ALL shipping to Canada and when fellow Canadians ask why.. we're gonna provide the apathetic customer's name(s) and email address(s) and explain that because those individuals represent the country of Canada and until they resolve the issues, no more shipments will go north of the US border. Perhaps a few fellow Canadians can convince them to suck it up and do the right thing. Is this extreme? You bet your Canadian ass. I'm Pirate and I have approved this message.

2. While I'm on the subject of shipping and ass pirates..the other elephant in the room is the culpability of FedEx in all this. They are the ones who came in and set up their shipping programs on our computers. They assured us that these kick-backs couldn't/wouldn't happen..yet the bills keep rolling in. So far they have refused to come back and change their programs to nip these problems in the bud. Other than insulting the shit out of them (trust me.. I've done a bang up job in that respect)...we've decided to hurt them where it hurts the most.. in their pocketbook. Starting on February 5th we started shipping 95% of our orders via USPS in a trial experiment to see how things go. As Pirates' Lair spends an average of $5000 a month on shipping.... I'm pretty sure FedEx will feel the sting of my cold, rusty blade. I admit I'm NOT a fan of the USPS and believe it's no better than gambling, but as UPS will not pick-up in our area... it's our only viable option. Guess we'll see.

3. Now that the new BMW's are showing up in dealer showrooms around the world and subsequently, garages all over the US.. you knew it was just a matter of time.. FYI...our K1300S Product Line is up. Resistance was futile. I'm also working on our K1300GT Product Line. Any suggestions as to things you'd like to see on our menus would be appreciated.

4. We now carry Verholen Bar Risers for the new K1300GT..

5. We now carry the Throttlemeister for the new K1300S.

6. We just got a rare shipment of SILVER Pirates Lair Torque Arms... These will fit your K1300S, 2005-08 K1200S, K1200R, K1200R Sport, K1300GT, or 2006-08 K1200GT.. Each comes with the stylish Pirates Lair logo lovingly engraved on the visible side. Each will guarantee attention from the apposite sex..and occasionally from the same sex.

7. We now carry Ducati 1098 License Plate Relocators made by Evoluzione . Simple and ultra-lightweight,The Ducati 1098 has one of the best looking asses out there, discounting Angelina Jolie, of course. Why have that "fugly" rear fender cluttering things up when you can have simplicity and beauty personified with this kit? Install is under 1 hour. That's about how long it took me to do mine.. And unlike other license plate relocator kits on the market, the Evo Kit allows the customer to retain the blinkers.. as God intended. Fits Ducati 1098, 1098S, 1098R, 1198, and the 848..

8. The all new Laser Stealth HotCam 2 is finally in the states. (Click pic at right). It's available in an extremely light-weight full carbon fiber version only. To hell with Viagra. If this doesn't give you a chub then you should donate your eyes to someone who can appreciate them. I'll probably try one of these on my own bike. Pirates' Lair is the first to have them. Web page is up and we are taking orders now.. These will fit the K1200S, K1200R, R Sport, and the 2006-08 K1200GT. The same kit fits all these bikes. A removable silencer comes with each kit.

I have no idea how true this is, and I admit it might be a savvy marketing ploy, but I have been told this is a Limited Production Special Offer from Laser and that only 50 units would be brought into the US. If that's the case.. they'll sell like crack in Harlem. Consider yourself warned.
Last I heard there were 18 left available.

9. I've been asked dozens of times why we don't carry aftermarket clutch and brake levers. Honestly, I've seen most everything out there and except for the Wunderlich...none really gave me wood. Until now. FYI.. we just picked up a new product for our quasi-esteemed BMW customers. Synto Brake and Clutch Levers which are as beautiful as they are functional. Produced in Germany by the same people that produce the Wunderlich, the Synto Levers are better than anything I've seen in the US market including Pazzo, CRG, etc.. Fully adjustable 6 positions so getting the ergos right on your bike has never been easier. 6 colors to choose from for levers and adjusting wheel. Mix and match! Silver, Gold, Blue, Black, Red, & Titanium. . Not cheap, but look at it this way.. If I don't get your money.. congress will and at least if you buy these you'll have something to show for it. Fits every model year K1200S, K1200R, K1200R Sport, 2007-08 K1200GT, R1200GS, R1200GS Adventure, R1200R, R1200S, R1200ST, and HP2 Enduro. Not sure if these will fit the K1300's yet.

Click Here To See More... If You Dare

K12 Rally / Event News : Down The Road: 2009

2009 Texas Hill Country K12 Rally: April 20-23, 2009

Where: ...River Inn Resort in Hunt, Texas
When: April 20th thru 23rd, 2009 (Mon – Thurs)

Breakfast one day at OST in Bandera
Lunch one day at Los Maples in Utopia
Lunch one day at Coopers BBQ in Plano
Pie run one day to the Koffee Cup in Hico

Call River Inn Resort for reservations. / 1-800-841-0501 price will be the same as last year.
To get the best room rate, tell them you are with the " I-BMW Group "

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2009 Blue Ridge Parkway K12 Rally: May 14-17, 2009

Where: Peaks of Otter Lodge, Blue Ridge Pkwy mp 86, Virginia
When: May 14th thru 17th, 2009 (Thur – Sun)

Call Peaks of Otter Lodge for reservations.
1.540.586.1081 • 1.800.542.5927 • Fax 1.540.586.4420
Note: Specify one bed or two. !!........Peaks does not offer Group Rates

Blue Ridge Parkway info and maps can be found here and here

Alternate Lodging (info only) :
Super 8 – Bedford
Days Inn – Bedford

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I-BMW.com Track Day Weekend! June 20-21, 2009

When: June 20-21st, 2008 (Saturday & Sunday)
Where: Roebling Road Race Track (Savannah, GA area)
Cost: 1 instructional group with 10 people. Cost is $250.00 per day. $500 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED! 1 non-instructional with 20 people. Cost is $150.00 per day. $300 total. BOTH DAYS REQUIRED!

Woohoo! Are you ready for the second annual www.I-BMW.com track day weekend? Of course you are. The weekend is confirmed and reserved. If you are a member of I-BMW.com or just a mere mortal and are interested in attending this event you should visit the site for full details..

If the event is anything like last year, about 50% of the attendees will be on BMW's.. the other 50% on other brand bikes.. Ducati, MV Agusta, YamaHonSuzuSaki, etc. All religions are welcome.

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*NEW* 2009 Summer Solstice K12 Rally: June 19-21, 2009

Where: Sun & Ski Inn and Suites in Stowe, Vermont
When: June 19th thru 21st, 2009 (Fri – Sun)

The 2009 Summer Solstice Rally will again be in Stowe, VT on the weekend of June 19, 20 and 21. It will be at the Sun & Ski Inn on the Mountain Road. Just up from previous years location.

The rates based on Dbl occ
Standard $105
Superior $110

Rates incl breakfast, exclude rooms and meals tax of 10% and a 7 % service fee. Cancellation period is 15 days. They do ask for a one night deposit to hold the reservation. Participants should call in for direct reservations and refer to the BMW gathering for the correct rates.

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2009 Sierra Gold Rush K12 Rally: Sept 13-16, 2009

Where: Sonora Days Inn, Sonora, California
When: Sept 12th thru 16th, 2009 (Sun – Weds)

A pre-rally is planned in Downieville, CA at the Riverside Inn: Rooms are reserved for Sept. 9th through 11th. September 12th will be a travel day to Sonora, an easy and beautiful day's ride south of Downieville.Lodging here is very limited... there are only a handful of rooms available, so if you plan to attend the pre-rally you should make your reservations immediately. Tell them that you are with the I-BMW group!! If they are booked up when you call, there is other lodging available in Downieville, and everything is within walking distance:

For booking at the actual Sierra Gold Rush Rally call the Sonora Days Inn at 209-532-2400. Tell them that you are with the I-BMW group. If you talk to someone who is clueless about our group, ask to speak to Tracy. We have rooms reserved here for Sept. 12th through 15th, with the 16th optional. This rally will be even better than the last, and we are expecting a much larger turnout in 2009, so make your reservations now! If all the planets align.. I'll see you there. . I've already made my reservations.

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The 10th Annual Deals Gap K12 Rally: Sept 24-27th, 2009

Where: Tapoco Lodge near Robbinsville, NC
When: Sept 24th thru 27th, 2009

Well.. the last K12 rally of 2009 will again be at the Tapoco Lodge at Deals Gap and this'll be the 10th anniversary of the most sacred K12 gathering. The Topoco won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!! This'll be the last K12 Rally of 2009, my friends. Be there or forever regret it like the time you blew that chance with those twins because you misread the subtle signals they were giving you..

Alternate Lodging in Robbinsville, NC. Microtel Motel.
Closest dealer (err, one in Knoxville yet?) Touring Sport BMW Greenville, SC

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How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

We have (2) new contributions this month ..Woohoo!! Check out #140, contributed by Sir Richard Johnson of Portland Oregon
and #141 contributed by Bob Hamlin of Rockville, MD

Could these tips save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

Pirates Lair Sacred Archives

We get a lot of requests for specific articles and/or reviews I've written in the past. Rather than fry my aging brain trying to remember where they are on our multi-thousand page website.. I have decided to list the "worthy" ones here. Most of the links are to past newsletters.. Some are to full web articles. Remember, I'm no expert on anything except perhaps cunnilingus so the opinions within the archives are only my own. Saavy?

BMW How-To Section

We have a new offering this month from Sir Kevin Hoffberg over at his Mid-Life Rider website...
Check out his How-To Install a Bags Connection Engage Tank Bag. It's the first listing on the page. Installation was on a K1200GT. Thx Kev. Well done.

Picture at right Courtesy of Sports Illustrated photographer Walter Iooss, Jr. / Model: Ms Melissa Haro

Click For Larger Image.. If You Want a Chub..

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Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues