"Gather 'round, lads.... gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around the 1st or 15th of each month, when I deem you are worthy, we put out our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW K12RS/GT/S/R world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out? If you want to subscribe and have these sent via e-mail to your home or office just let us know at pirate@acelink.net .. otherwise you'll get 95% of it here. Why only 95%? Because I tend to tell the brutal truth as I see it on many issues/products and while I don't mind spewing "my opinion" into your home, office or cell, I have no desire to slam, insult, or malign any company, individual, competitor in public.. unless they blatantly deserve it.

While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered or meek, amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you look elsewhere for your written info-tainment. So it is written.. so let it be done....

The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: August 2007 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... ..A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start the day.....

It's London in the not so distant future. As the 3 corrupt policeman prepare to accost the young lady who has been caught out past curfew a lone cloaked figure appears. With knives ablaze he dispatches them effortlessly saving her from brutal rape... or worse. The masked hero turns and faces Evie who is still on the ground shaking with fear.

V: Good evening.
Evey: Who -- Who are you?
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.. He throws wide his cloak and bows deeply to her.
V: And you would be?
Evey: Evey.
V: Of course you are. They hear sirens in the distance
Evey: Why did you do that? Why did you... help me?
V: Why indeed? He takes out an old antique pocket watch. It is almost midnight.
V: Almost time.
Evey: For what?
V: For the music.
Evey: Music?
V: Yes, music. My music. You see Evey, I am a performer.
Evey: Is that why you're wearing a mask?
V: We all wear masks. Life creates them and forces us to find the one that fits. Do you know what day it is?
Evey: The day the Cheesy Pirates Lair Newsletter comes out?

V: er..You may be right.. I'll have to check my "V-mail"... but...try again..
Evey: November fourth.
V: Not for long. He looks out where, rising above the rooftops, he can see Big Ben. The second hand sweeps into the final minute.
V: As if reciting on a stage.."Remember, remember, the fifth of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot."

V ..Hugo Weaving / Evey..Natilie Portman .... V for Vendetta 2006

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

The Perfect Curve: I Drag Therefore I Am

Other than putting a ruler to his penis, how do you really measure the true essence of a man? By his lifetime accomplishments mentioned in a tear laden eulogy? Or by the number of friends he has when he checks out at the end of a long life? By how many women he's loved? Or by the successes of his children?

I just finished a short story entitled. the Perfect Curve, about a milestone in my life that recently occurred at the Barber Motorsport Park during a track day session. A milestone that will probably mean nothing.. zip.. zero..nada to anyone else on planet earth, but it rocked my world. I'm sure most track day riders will appreciate the read and perhaps a few street riders. I thought I'd share if for no other reason than if I get it down on paper, I can pass it on to my 2 grandsons. Maybe someday they'll want a glimpse into the id of their speed lovin' grandpa.. For the Full Story.. Click Here..

Click For Larger Image

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Sargent Cycle K1200S World Sport Seat Available!

Sargent Cycle's new K1200S World Sport Modular Seat System is finally on the market. I got word from my good bud, Mark (the big cheese) on July 27th that they'd begin taking orders on the 29th. They were about to start sending out the pre-registered notices.

Seat Features:
Super Cell Atomic Foam and is available in either the REGULAR height or LOW version.
A Rear Passenger Seat Cushion is available for improved passenger comfort.
Quick-release passenger backrest for use with the Passenger Seat Cushion.
Handy, under-the-seat storage area built right in the lightweight PolyTec seat pan.

Rear Storage Pod Features:
A perfect blend of asthetic design and revolutionary features to include:
Lockable, spring-assist lid provides wide easy access to contents.
Auto-switched LED-lighted interior.
Felt-lined storage area.
Available painted to match current BMW paint schemes or unpainted for custom applications.
May be switched out with the Passenger Seat Cushion for even more storage.

Each Modular Seat System must be purchased with a rear component - either the Passenger Seat Cushion or the Rear Storage Pod - or both! Optional passenger backrest will also be available.

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2009 BMW Super Bike - 190 hp - 418 lb! Pinch Me.. I Must Be Dreaming!
By Ben Purvis / New Bikes Magazine / 25 July 2007

The revelation that BMW is set to enter the World Superbike Championship in 2009 – as revealed in MCN this week – perhaps shouldn’t be such a surprise, since the firm has been gradually revamping its image for the last five years.

While the firm has long been involved in four-wheeled motorsport, and has competed on two wheels in events like the Paris Dakar rally, its recent entry in the Le Mans 24 hour race was the first time in 50 years the firm ran its own works road racing team.

But the build-up to that has been a long time coming. For several years BMW has run the Boxer Cup championship for R1100S machines, and the PowerCup for the K1200R, as well as providing significant sponsorship to the MotoGP championship.

The new project, which uses a four-cylinder engine, promises to be truly competitive. Code named 190/190 inside the factory, the bike is targeting 190bhp at the crankshaft and a 190kg wet weight in road-going trim. If it hit that, race versions should have no problem meeting the 210bhp-plus needed to be competitive in WSB, and slimming down to the 162kg minimum weight limit for the series.

BMW isn’t commenting on the project officially, but an insider told MCN that there would be an announcement about its race plans later this year. He also hinted that we were in for a big surprise at one of this year’s major bike shows, suggesting a prototype of the new machine could appear.

Even if it does reveal the bike this year, BMW won’t be racing in WSB until 2009 – but showing a prototype will allow it the luxury of testing relatively publicly for a year, on the tracks used by the WSB series, without having to try to hide the bike. Production versions of the 190/190 could also go on sale before its race debut, as BMW will need to meet the production targets set by the WSB series to homologate the machine.

What's New In the K1200RS/GT/S/R No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and first generation GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. We're starting to hear rumors about the 2008 K1200GT... These two have been confirmed.. 1. the information display will now show "service reminders" for the bike and 2. an all new Silver color will be an option.

2. Been thinking about adding an electronic cruise control to your K1200RS? Better get your procrastinating ass in gear as there are only (2) left...Once Motorcycle Cruise of Australia sells the last two.. no more will be produced. Read it and weep.

3. Vanson in Chapter 11? Vanson Leathers in Fall River, MA is in chapter 11 and suffering some down times. Might want to stock up on your favorite gear. And their customer service was almost as good as Corbins.. Go figure. I have no further details at this time. While I'm NOT surprised as the company was run so poorly... they sure did/do produce some top quality gear. My TWO favorite jackets are Vanson... I hope they get things worked out as it sure would be a bad thing to see them go down in flames.A serious blow to the motorcycle garment industry.

4. Sargent Cycle's new K1200S World Sport Modular Seat System is finally on the market.. (see blurb above)

5. Got clutch problems with your 2006-2006 K1200GT and don't want to spend the bucks to replace it with another cheesy factory unit? Looks like there is an option on the market. We were just notified that the the slipper clutch that Pack Parts of Germany sells for the K1200S and K1200R also fits the new GT. The original basket, the original clutch pads, and the original spring is used.

6. Looking for bar-end mirrors for your K1200R? Look no further than Kaleefornia. The part number is 1557409 and they are available from BMW of Santa Cruz for $34.95 each. Installation is very straightforward, simply remove the bar end weight with the appropriate size Torx bit and then reinstall it with the mirror attached with a longer socket head machine screw of your choice (it's M8-1.25 and should be about 30mm long.) You need a button head machine screw (M10-1.5) to cover the stock holes or you could probably use a clamp from a K1200S which doesn't have the hole because of the fairing mounted mirrors.

7. Price Reduction? We just got unconfirmed word that as of July 17 every 2007 K1200S has been reduced by $1380 per BMWNA.

8. We just got confirmation from a customer that R& G Racing K1200S Frame Sliders .. upper frame, front fork sliders, and shaft protectors will also fit the 2006+ BMW K1200GT's! We are told that the upper frame sliders will require a few spacers to be made in order to make it look complete and those are NOT included in the kits.

9. If you've been procrastinating about buying a pair of Verholen K1200S Bar Risers... well you can start kicking yourself right about now. They just raised their prices on the 2005-2006 year model kits from $225 to $345 (as per their web site) and ADDED an all new 2007 K1200S version kit which is different than the 2005-06 kit as it includes a longer steel braided brake line which is required due to BMW moving the brake fluid reservoir on the newer bikes...Damn Germans. The 2007+ Verholen K1200S Bar Risers go for a sphincter puckering.. are you sitting.... $445.US

What's New at Pirates' Lair?

1. Woohoo!! Another Pirates Lair exclusive! We now have BMW billet gas caps in stock! These are the ONLY billet BMW caps on earth, my fellow pirates and they look trick as hell. For whatever reason, you can buy one for just about any bike in the universe except for.. yep.. you guessed it... a BMW. No idea why.. Are we not worthy? Out first shipment arrived from Oberon Machine (in the UK) last week..

Is this beeeautiful or what?? Click here for another view. . And in case you are wondering.. No.. there are no vapor lock issues as the caps are ventilated and No.. they don't lock.. and neither do the gas caps on any 4-wheeled vehicle you own or your ATV, lawn mower, Jet Ski, or Hoyt Clagwell so for gods sake..unless you live in an area with roving bands of petrol thieves..willing to risk 2 years in jail for $9 worth of gas...Relax and fagetaboutit. These are designed to mimic a race bike's gas cap. Easy on/easy off without a key. I'm pretty sure these will fit virtually every BMW ever made including the K1200S, K1200R, K1200R Sport, K1200RS, early and late K1200GT.. Web page is up HERE.

Click Here To See More... If You Dare

2. We now have Verholen Bar Riser Kits for the 2007 K1200S. FYI.. BMW changed the switch housing position or some s#@ like that which means the standard 05-06 kit will not work. The 2007 kit requires a longer brake line (geezz) which our kit includes...and of course... the price is $100 higher. Ouch!

3. Here Ye.. Here Ye: End Of An Era Notice Well.. we've had a good run but the time has come to discontinue production of our venerable R1150R Stealth Backrest. Demand is dwindling and the price of stainless steel has tripled over the last 2 years making further orders virtually profitless.. With that said..We have our LAST PRODUCTION RUN in stock. Once these are gone.. there will be no more so if you've been on the fence... this is your last chance to make your move, Johnny Ringo.. Consider yourself forewarned. "I'm your huckleberry."

4. Got clutch problems with your 2006-2006 K1200GT and don't want to spend the bucks to replace it with another cheesy factory unit? We were just notified that the the slipper clutch that we get from Pack Pats of Germany for the K1200S and K1200R also fits on the new GT. The original basket, the original clutch pads, and the original spring is used. You can order those here..

5. We just got our first shipment of MRA's Original Replacement Dark Tinted Windshields for the K1200S. Apparently there are sick, demented people out there that like the original shape and airflow characteristics of the stock K1200S windshield.. Sorry, but I don't have pics of them yet...

6. We just got confirmation from a customer that the R & G Frame Sliders they sell for the K1200S .. Upper frame, front fork sliders, and shaft protectors will also fit the 2005+ BMW K1200GT's! We are told that the upper frame sliders will require a few spacers to be made in order to make it look complete.

7. We now have the K1200R / K1200R Sport version Tech Spec Gripster Kits in stock from TechSpec-USA. If you want grip AND paint protection.. you'll love these kits. By gripping the tank with your legs, a rider can improve the overall control of a motorcycle, control of their body weight, a more positive seat position, as well as longer lasting erections

Improved control of the riders body weight will help improve overall handling. Increased control equals less fatigue. Perfect for aggressive, higher skilled, track day riders. Each (3) piece kit includes R & L Tank Grip Skins and one Tank Protector.The K1200R kit will also fit the K1200R Sport.

Click Here To See More... If You Dare

Rally News/Info: Down The Road: 2007/2008

2007 Deals Gap K12 Rally: Sept 27-29 (Contributed by our good buddy, Sir Tim Hudspeth aka CBNFVR over at www.I-BMW.com )

Well.. the last K12 rally of the year is upcoming, friends. Again it'll be at the Tapoco Lodge at Deal's Gap again for 2007, Sept 27th - 29th. It won't hold us all, so make plans now! Amber and I are already booked!! This'll be the last K12 Rally of the year, my friends. Be there or forever regret it like the time you blew that chance with those twins because you misread the subtle signals they were giving you..

No sign-up sheet . Just reserve a room if there are any left...!

Friday noon meal (at 1:00pm) will be at the Troll Restaurant in Helen, Ga (under the bridge)
Saturday noon meal (at 1;00 pm) will be at the Bistro, Telico Plains, Tennessee (western end of the Cherohala)

As usual, Fri and Sat evening will consist of tall tales, video worthy of Americas Most Wanted, and food in the Lodge. No set times.

Alternate Lodging in Robbinsville, NC. Microtel Motel.
Closest dealer (err, one in Knoxville yet?) Touring Sport BMW Greenville, SC

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New!! Blue Ridge K12 Rally: May 15th - 18th, 2008 (Contributed by our good buddy, Sir Tim Hudspeth aka CBNFVR over at www.I-BMW.com )

Seems as if the Snowshoe people have decided to let our bunch of miscreants inhabit the Inn at Snowshoe for BRR 2008 (BRR = Blue Ridge Rally). This is a confirmed event. I'm already booked.

Location: Inn at Snowshoe , Snowshoe, West Virginia
Reservations: 1 877 441-4386 , Mention "BMW Motorcycle Group - 5071OE" 40 rooms are held for us until 4-11-2008. After that any remaining rooms are available to the general public. The rate is 79 per night (plus taxes).
Amenities: Bar, jacuzzi, walk to beverage store, walk to gas or groceries, restaurant on site, pool. Each room has a TV and phone. Some have a fridge.
Sat Lunch: River Place, downtown Marlinton
Fri-Sat evening meals At the Inn or walk to the Deli a few hundred feet away! No riding required. (Note: There is no organized meal. (i.e. Pay as you go. Go when you wish.)
Links: http://www.pocahontas.org/

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How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

We have one new contribution this month.! Check out # 127 contributed by Mountain Mike in the Trinity Alps CA.!!! Thx dude!!

Could this tip save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive on your Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so use deodorant.

BMW How-To Section

Nothing new this month.

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues