Picture Of The Month! Storm's A Comin' ! (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our February POTM was contributed by Rodney Remington MD over at I-BMW.com. This spectacular shot of his GT was taken in late December 2009. He says of this shot.." Every year between Christmas and New Years I ride hwy 25 south of Hollister, in Central California. I love this road and have ridden it dozens of times but there's something about riding it in winter, when it's green and not uncomfortably hot, that I especially enjoy. I left about 8 AM which is late for me but I wanted the frost off the road. Temps hovered around 50 all day which is fine with me in my winter gear. Didn't even get cold enough for my heated vest although I did use the grip and seat heaters most of the day. Put on about 250 miles. The skies were so different today depending on where you were.. In the shot, mother nature is about to let hell loose on me on lonesome little Panoche hwy, which is just about as close to the middle of nowhere as you can get in Cali. Never got a drop on me but it looks frightening doesn't it? Almost surreal."

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S or K1300S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT or K1300GT and B. In focus.

The Demise of Road Rocketeer aka Gizmo Mill!: How Not To Run a Business!

Excuse me while I release the Kraken. Over the last few months, I've posted a blurb or two about the trials and tribulations of dealing with Kevin Demers.. owner of Road Rocketeer (formerly Gizmo Mill.) While his K1200RS Brake LED Kits were, IMHO the best aftermarket lighting accessory on the market.. Kevin was about the worst businessman I've ever seen. Even though we've been doing biz with Kev for at least 8 years and had considered him my friend, any attempt at communication has been an exercise in futility. Getting a one-on-one with God is easier.. Deliveries of product was sporadic at best. Excuses for not getting product ran the gamut, but were always imaginative..." Our lease ran out and we're moving to a new facility.." .."Computers were confiscated by landlord so we couldn't get emails".. "other vendors are not paying their bills so we can't afford parts" .. "electricity was shut off due to miscommunication".. "my partner has cancer".. "Bush lied.. people died." and on and on..

About 3 months ago virtually all communication with Kevin or his partner, Timea Meszaros stopped. At that time I had just put a handful of a new version of Brake LED Kits on the market and all (4) had problems so I returned them for a refund. Nothing but silence. I was also getting sporadic emails from both customers and non-customers asking if I knew how to make contact with him. Warranty issues, install problems, missing orders, etc etc.. Hmm. Not good. Then the following email came in...

"Hi there, my name is **** ******** and I'm looking for any information you may have about Kevin Demers. After Gizmo Mill went under Kevin started a new company called Road Rocketeer that also folded 3 months ago, about two weeks after I placed my order (and paid). I still haven't received my product, and there are other riders in the same boat as I am.

I believe Kevin is currently fleeing Victoria, BC (I found classified ads he posted detailing his need to sell everything because he was moving). He hasn't answered phone or email in 3 months, and the Road Rocketeer website is down. Do you have any information about him? His age? What he looks like? Anything about his history? Do you know if he's lived in the US at any point? Thanks for your time."

The individual that sent this note has actually instigated an investigation into Kevin's "Alf and Ralph" business practices. Good for him. As of this printing.. Kevin owes Pirates Lair in the neighborhood of only $500 so it's not enough to go "postal" over. I'll assume that he owes quite a few other people money, too. Touratech, Sierra BMW, Twisted Throttle, and Ride West have joined Pirates Lair in dropping Road Rocketeer products from our menus. Very sad. It just goes to show that no matter how good a product you have to sell to the masses, if you don't have business smarts you're probably better off slinging burgers at Mickey D's or sackin' groceries at WinnDixie. Looks like we'll never see our refund, but "C'est la vie."

The purpose of this mini-rant is 3 fold. A. to warn people away from doing business with Kevin and Road Rocketeer should he eventually come out of hiding.. B. to ask for any assistance in locating Kevin so we can sic the creditors and/or mercs on him.. C. To publicly chastise and condemn Kevin's actions. It's the least an ex-friend with a flaming keyboard and a worldwide forum can do. Shame on you, Kev. What comes around.. goes around.

Carbon Fiber News: Auf Wiedersehen German Price Gouging! Our New Source for Carbon Fiber

As many of you know, for a while there Pirates Lair carried a chitload of imported Carbon Fiber for our K1300S, K1200S, K1300R, K1200R customers. Sold a lot of it, too but a little over a year ago our sources in Germany (Pack Parts and Ilmberger) started raising their already criminally insane prices. At that point I was already feeling guilty for selling a product for 40% higher than comparable Ducati, MV Agusta, Jap Carbon Fiber. While I am a pirate and capitalist (and proud of it) and have no aversion to making money, ... I do have a conscience.

I told the Germans that their pricing was simply out of line with every other Carbon Fiber manufacturer on the market and unless they dropped the pricing.. Auf Wiedersehen. At some point you have to draw a line in the sand .. profit be damned.... and I did. In typical German fashion they told me "you vil accept our prizing unt you vil like it." In typical American fashion.. I told them to "blow me " as I refuse to price gouge my fellow Americans. So... I phased out 99% of our German product line and have been looking for an alternative ever since. Last week I found and alternative source that is cheaper, US made, and worthy of our exclusive product line and our anal retentive customers.

After evaluation of about a dozen pieces from Bestem Powersports (located in Georgia) I ordered a load of Carbon parts and most are already in stock. The pattern of the Bestem carbon fiber is virtually identical to Pack Parts, Ilmberger, and ZTechnik so mixing and matching is a non-issue. As for the quality.. Going down the line I'd give ZTechnik a 10, Pack Parts & Ilmberger a 9, and Bestem Motorsports products a solid 8. Out of the 10 pieces they shipped me for evaluation.. every piece I'd put on my own bike and you know how anal I am.

My first shipment was mostly K1200S / K1300S Carbon Fiber but I have access to all their K1200R Carbon Fiber parts should anyone be interested. Pricing for the Bestem products is generally 1/2 what the Germans were asking and in some cases.. 5 times cheaper. For instance.. the Carbon Fiber Clutch Cover that Pack Parts sells for $216.. we now sell for $40 delivered... as it should be. Unlike many other Carbon Fiber manufactures Bestem Powersports offers a 90 day limited replacement warranty so obviously.. they stand behind their workmanship. Lastly.. I expect Bestem to have lots of Carbon Fiber parts for the S1000RR in the months to come.. and we'll be proud to sell it. Stay tuned.

Pirates' Lair 10th Anniversary: My Plan For World Domination

It's hard to believe it's been 10 years since I started Pirates Lair and what a ride it's been. The motorcycle industry (as well as the world) have drastically changed.. Ahhh.. I miss the simpler times of the year 2000. The World Trade Center was still standing tall and proud in the NYC sky... Bill Clinton was clandestinely getting blown in the oval office.. Our country had a surplus of money.. BMW's were considered the most problem free motorcycles on the road.. and I was very single and still had hair.

As our 10th Anniversary is upon us with a long and winding road still ahead, I thought I'd share a little "behind the curtain" insight into the inner workings of this cheesy operation, offer a brief look into the proverbial crystal ball, and convey my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has kept us afloat.

Even after all this time, I still get the following questions.. "Is this your only business?" .. or .. "what's your real job" .. or.. "Is Amber wearing panties today?" as if they think this is just a hobby or something we do on the side. While we have had part time workers from time to time.. we're still just a 2 person operation and it is a full time job. Amber handles the books, customer service, the porn line, and shipping and I do everything else including day to day html work and design on the ever expanding website. I also spend an insane amount of hours writing these cheesy newsletters. Bet you didn't know that each takes about 30-32 days to write and edit.

For the first 9 years in operation, our profits grew by 30-40% every consecutive year. How many .coms can say that?! Of course.. no party lasts forever,... unless you work in congress. About a year ago when the economy tanked, our profits declined by 35% thanks in no small part to the failed attempt at social engineering by Barney Frank and others in Washington. Since then sales have leveled off and seem to be holding firm.. Many of the vendors we've dealt with in the past haven't been so lucky. More than a handful have long since become rotting corpses on the killing fields of failed businesses. Does this make me feel lucky? You're damn straight and I never take it for granted. I put in 50-60 hours every week in order to keep this ship on course, but it's all good, sales are up, and more importantly.. I still feel the love. From what the big suppliers tell us.. we sell more K12/K13 accessories than anyone else in the US.. How's that for a hobby?

Does everyone love what we're doing? In a word.. No. Now and then I get complaints from the PC crowd that they don't like the semi-naked young lassie on our disclaimer page or the language in my newsletters. I tell them that I and 99.8% of my customers do like to look at firm, pouting young breasts, but... I respect their opinion. I also point out that our on-line newsletter is about as PC as I'm capable of.

At least once a month I have a customer email me complaining that they thought Amber didn't suck up to them enough or sell them exactly what they asked for even though it wasn't what they needed. I tell them that I have given her carte blanc to treat our customers like they treat her and to dispense advice as needed even if it means losing a sale, questions their intelligence, or threatens their masculinity. She's a knowledgeable straight shooter and most love that about her. With or without panties.

From time to time I get complaints as to why I don't have a fancy credit card terminal on each page like some of the bigger on-line vendors like Parts Unlimited, Motorcycle-Superstore, etc etc..The answer. I'm a cheap bastage. The lowest quote I've had to make the conversion for the hundreds of product pages was $45,000. Guess I just feel that that kinda money could be better spent on tires, track days, high boots, wigs, and cheerleader outfits for Amber, or exotic vacations! Fairly often I am asked why we don't offer a printed catalog. I explain that our product line changes weekly and that if we had a printed catalog, it would be obsolete before it was in the hands of the customer.

In the last 10 years we've been ripped off only 3-4 times in over 10,000+ transactions which proves to me that BMW riders as a whole are the most honest people on earth. The rip-off artists?... All Indonesians.. non-motorcyclists. They absconded with over $30,000, (ouch!) but safeguards have been implemented since then so that should never happen again. Live and learn. And for whatever reason.. dozens of Canadians have stiffed us for customs/duty charges causing us to change the way we ship to Canada. What's up wit dat, eh?

As for the future of Pirates Lair? With the help of a good woman and Mr. Bigglesworth, I plan on conquering the world. Our/my plan is to stay focused on late model BMWs which make up 95% of our biz. We will continue to change and adapt to not only the industry, but to the needs, wants, and sick farkling desires of our quasi-esteemed customers. We will continue treating our customers like we like to be treated.. with respect and not take them for granted. So it is written.. so let it be done.

Again.. To each and every one of you... thank you so much for your continued friendship and support. Amber and I are humbled and honored.

BMW Best Performing Motorcycle Company in America: Putting On a Happy Spin

According to just-released Motorcycle Industry Council (MIC) reports, BMW Motorrad USA outperformed all of its competitors in 2009. Despite a U.S. motorcycle market that declined 41 percent and lost nearly 360,000 units, BMW motorcycle sales only declined 22 percent, which was the smallest decline among all motorcycle brands. (Sounds like Obama spin, to me. I'm sure the shareholders are tickled pink) This follows on the heels of 2008 when BMW Motorrad USA was one of only two motorcycle manufacturers to post positive growth. “Our dedicated dealers were the key to our success this past year,” commented Todd Andersen, BMW Motorrad USA Marketing Manager. Despite the tough market, they continued serve our customers well and promote our new products like the K 1300 S and the K 1300 GT. They were supported by attractive financing programs from BMW Financial Services.