Picture Of The Month! Scenic Scotland.. (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our Jan/ Feb POTM was contributed by Gary Wood who lives in Dunfermline, located in Fife, Scotland. He says of the shot.. "The photo was taken of my K1300S at Loch Achtriochtan near the highland village of Glencoe, Scotland in glorious summer sunshine. It was the hottest September day we've had yet. This is a popular spot for bikes to take photos at. The little bridge runs over the river Coe and leads to a small privately owned cottage. Fabulous fast run up on the amazing roads up there on the A82 road. I'm a recently retired Scottish Fire & Rescue Service Watch Commander (I think the US equivalent is a Captain) and I'm thoroughly enjoying spending quality time on the bike in my retirement!"

If you would like to contribute your own "worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots or send me a link if you've already uploaded them somewhere. It'll need to be at least 1024x768 in size or larger and preferably A. Of any late model BMW .. B. In focus... C. No GSs for God's sake.

2022 K 1600 Grand America Option 719 Midnight.. "My God.. It's full of stars.."

As as smallish guy, I'm generally not a fan of big motorcycles, but I understand the attraction.. The K1600 "Bagger" series and Grand America, which share the same platform, are beautiful bikes that offer supreme comfort and the most advanced technology on the market. So how do the Germans top that? Witness the upcoming limited edition 2022 model designated the 719 Midnight. The paint job on it (called "Galaxy") looks phenomenal involving 9 layers. No two bikes will look exactly the same. Here's how they describe the ethereal process.

A complex water transfer process is being used for the first time ever in motorcycle series production making the paintwork unique on every bike. Option 719 Midnight depicts an entire galaxy. The time-consuming and labor-intensive painting process allowed us to carefully think through every step – from the very first pigment: the graphics have been calculated so that the overall picture is consistent after installation. Meteoric II Dust Metallic paint serves as the basis. The actual motif of the galaxy is applied from a backing film, which is activated in a water bath. In this process, pigments separate from the backing film and start to float.

As part of painting, we immerse the corresponding component in this bath to make pigments adhere to it. We are forced to manually carry out this process because of the water’s flow behavior, the positioning of the graphic and the shape of the parts. Material sensitivity, immersion angle and speed are paramount. In other words: intuition. This makes each part a unique section of an entire galaxy. Finally, parts are finished with a high-gloss topcoat. Read more off the BMW website ...

I'm Still Standing... Yea Yea Yea...

One week before Halloween I had quadruple by-pass open heart surgery. I chronicled the details and some existential musings in our December 2021 newsletter. It's with some satisfaction that I can report that I survived and I'm on my way to a full recovery.

As I write this, I'm 8 weeks out and feeling pretty damn good. Better than expected. Better than I deserve. I'm exercising every day. Both on my own and in rehab. Honestly, I feel almost as good as before the surgery. Pre-surgery I spoke to dozens of friends, family, and customers who'd had the same surgery in order to know what to expect. I got mostly horror stories. The worst post-op pain you'll ever experience.. severe weight loss.. no taste for food.. a desire to watch the View, etc .. Only one customer told me of a completely different experience. As it turns out... my experience mirrored his.

I was out of the hospital in 4 days. Climbing stairs as soon as I was home. They gave me enough opioids to keep Amy Winehouse happy for years and yet I didn't need anything stronger than Tylenol once I got home. I lost only 4 lbs. They said I'd lose 20. Food tasted crappy for only a week or so due to the oxygenated blood, but I'm now back on my pre-op diet including my daily Mt Dew. While the procedure's immediate aftermath is a total shitshow for the first week and I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy, it wasn't a 10th as bad as most led me to believe.

My personal thanks goes out to the staff of Mission Hospital (here in Asheville) for the first class care. I've never been treated so well in any hospital. Period. Their level of professionalism was impressive. The number of young smokin' hot nurses was just icing on the cake.

I Wasn't Kidding: A Post Op Awakening Story

Before my recent open heart surgery (details in our last newsletter) I had an in depth conversation with the medical team who would be reanimating my heart and lungs post surgery. I had one and only one condition they'd have to meet before agreeing to the surgery. If they didn't or couldn't agree to it.. I'd walk out the door. FYI.. this pirate does EVERYTHING on my own terms. Thought you guys/gals might get a kick out of the following.

I explained to the team (as my wife listened) that I have world class claustrophobia regarding my breathing. My greatest fear in life isn't dying.. being burned alive.. drowning.. or even a Joe Biden presidency. It's being intubated. Like being buried alive in my mind. I went on to explain to them that I had a rhinoplasty surgery a few years ago where they had to pack my sinuses with gauze for 48 hours to stem the flow of blood. When I came to after the surgery and couldn't breathe, in a raging panic I ripped the gauze out right there in the office. I bled like hell, but I came through that OK although I was told that I wasn't welcome in their office again. I warned my heart team that when I woke up after the surgery they'd have to remove the tube down my throat instantly or I'd freak out in a "Stone Cold Steve Austin on crack" kinda way..

The team leader condescendingly told me that most people have a fear of intubation so it's not uncommon and they'd make a note to tell whoever was bedside of my fears. "We deal with this all the time"... he said reassuringly. "You'll be so drugged up, it'll be a non-issue." Riiiight. I further insisted that Amber had to be present when they woke me to make sure my wishes came to pass. They agreed to my terms although this was not standard hospital procedure.

Surgery Day: The following was related to me word for word by my wife, Amber. I have no memory of it. My quadruple by-pass surgery had gone off without a hitch. It was 3 hours from the minute we rolled into surgery to them rolling me back to the ICU recovery room. The team of four (with Amber standing by the back wall) waited as I slowly woke from the deeeep sedation. She reminded them of my pre-op request and they seemed relaxed and confident. "We got this, mam" was the team leader's reply. All at once, my eyes opened and I shot straight up in bed like Wolverine's initial awakening and instinctively started pulling and yanking at the tubing. Keep in mind, one hour earlier my chest was cracked open like a piñata. In a panic, all 4 jumped to my side and tried to restrain me. They couldn't.. They had to call for 2 more staffers to hold me down while they removed the tubing from my throat.

Amber said it took less than 2 minutes for them to get the tube out. As soon as it cleared my throat I relaxed .. took a deep breath.. closed my eyes.. stopped breathing and.. my heart stopped. Still standing in the back of the room Amber said it took 3 tries to get my heart started, but I still wasn't breathing. After a few failed resuscitation tricks Amber calmly walked forward and asked them to step aside. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.. "If you don't open your eyes and start breathing right now they're gonna put that tube back down your throat.".. Somewhere deep inside my lizard brain, those words must have registered as I immediately opened my eyes.. took a deep breath and awakened. She said the first words out of my mouth were.. "Honey.. you look tired. I think we both need a vacation."

Hell Has Frozen Over: The Dominator K1200RS / K1200GT Exhaust System

I would have bet a BJ from Amber that there would never be another exhaust system produced for the venerable 98-2004 BMW K1200RS / K1200GT if you'd asked me a few weeks ago. It's been a decade since they were discontinued by Staintune, Remus, Two Brothers, and ZTechnic. Who'd a thunk another manufacturer would step up to the plate this late in the game with a new exhaust for these bikes? Enter Dominator. The Polish exhaust company.

I'd never even heard of them until a week or so ago when a customer of mine sent pictures of his newly installed system.. I have to admit.. It looks fooking beautiful. I grilled him for details. He said the install was problem-free.. The quality appears as good as a Remus he used to have. He says it sounds damn good, although sound is always subjective. The piece de résistance is the price. They are over $1000 less than their former competitors. Too good to be true? Apparently not.

I contacted Dominator and they informed me that they've been selling exhausts for over 10 years and actually produce them for over 100 bikes and are sold almost exclusively in Europe and Japan. They simply don't advertise in the US nor do they have a US distributor. Interesting. I checked and reviews of their products seem as good as anyone elses. I asked if I could sell them here in the US and they simply said "sure". No forms to fill out.. No minimum order requirements. No oaths of fealty. Just sure. I like these guys already.

Dominator offers two options of canisters. A stainless steel with carbon end cap (pic at left) or an ultra sexy round canister that looks like a replica of the Staintune. Each kit includes a full header system, canister with removable insert baffle, all mounting hardware, and a 5 year warranty. Expect a 2 week delivery time to your door.. We have them here...

1. As I previously reported... Turn14 Distribution is the new designated importer of Remus Exhaust systems. Yea.. I've never heard of them either. They're a big company with multiple locations around the US. They sell mostly auto parts as best as I can tell. Pirates Lair has already been approved to be a US vendor. Sales have been good although getting timely product from the Austrians has been scattershot at best. It's been frustrating, but they assure me things will get better over the next few months. We shall see..

2. Motorcyclists vs Big Brother: Mark my words... what's happening in Europe is coming to our shores.. We've all known it was coming.. European Parliament Seeks to Introduce Speed Limiter Safety for Motorcycles.. Read it and weep...

3.As per the blurb above... BMW has a new K1600 arriving in late spring.. The 2022 K 1600 Grand America Option 719 Midnight.

4. Here's the coolest trailer tie-down invention I've seen in years... If you have a single sided swingarm like the K13s, K1200S, R1250RS, etc etc... check this out... Acebikes CapStrap - BMW open axle tie-down system. Very cool.. Wish I'd thought of this..

5. Stuck with a flat battery in your BMW Motorrad keyless remote? Here's a simple tip that may save yourself a walk home!

6. Check out the world's fastest electric motorcycle...The WMC250EV high-speed demonstrator is more than two years in the making and heralds a new chapter in the evolution of motorcycle technical development. It is the result of a determination to turn an inspired vision for vastly reducing aerodynamic drag into reality, having won support and recognition from all corners of Britain’s fertile motorsport engineering industry. The prototype motorcycle, which is capable of speeds exceeding 250mph, features three market-disruptive technologies including WMC’s ultra-low drag system called V-Air. My guess is.. this bike figures prominently in our 2-wheeled future.. Here's the full write up..

7. In case you've been wondering... Top 10 Fastest Motorcycles In The World (with Top Speed)

1. In case you missed the blurbs above... I survived my heart surgery, I'm back at work, and life is good.. "Yo ho.. a pirates life for me..."

2. I've been sending out newsletter notices for centuries. That tradition has temporarily come to a screeching halt. In early October, at the advice of my IT guys, we upgraded from some decades old programs to some newer, safer programs on Win10 instead of the WinVista we've been using for years. It did not go as smoothly as hoped. As it turns out, the new email program would not integrate the old email program's vast database.. Meaning. I no longer have the ability to notify my readers that a new newsletter is live unless I notify them individually. There are thousands of subscribers in my ancient database going back to the beginning of the internet with dial-up modems. The good news is, the email addresses are still accessible in the old program so we're hoping to figure out how to integrate them into the new program within the next few months. Until we do.. there will be no notices sent.. A major pisser. So sorry..

3. The Pirates Lair email address of 20 years just changed from pirate@acelink.net to pirateslair@gmail.com

4. Soon.. very soon, Pirates Lair will be adding K&N air filters to our various menus. We're just waiting for dealer pricing chart and part #s.

5.The all new Akrapovic Black Titanium Slip-On Exhaust System for the K16 Bagger / Grand America was developed for riders who want to make a change to the bike's look and sound with minimum modification. Ride in style with the Akrapovič Black Ti Slip-On exhaust system for the world's top-of-the-line BMW touring motorcycle. You will love its unique design, which is outstandingly executed using top-quality titanium canisters and carbon fiber outlet caps. Like every aftermarket exhaust available for the K1600 series, your O2 sensors remains plugged into your factory header. How does it sound? Fucking awesome. We're trying to determine if these kits fit the 2022 bikes..

6. New Product: Dominator has been selling exhausts for over a decade. Their Oval Stainless K1300S / K1200S Slip-On Exhausts are designed to lower weight, add a few ponies, and add a deep throaty tone for those on a budget. Is the quality as good as a Remus, Akrapovic, or Staintine? No, but I'd install one on my own K1200S in a second. Each kit includes a sexy oval stainless steel canister with a carbon fiber end cap, midpipe, and all mounting hardware. A simple bolt-on affair. Removable silencer included. They have a claimed weight of 6 lbs. And yes... they eliminate the catalytic converter. 5 year warranty included. Fits fit the 2005-2007 BMW K1200S or 2008-2015 K1300S.

I-BMW Reunion.. Pirates Lair Is Throwing Another Party! TBA

Where: 122 Flat Top Mountain Rd, Fairview, NC 28730
Remember, when you Google directions to our property to make sure you put in the zip code as there are TWO 122 Flat Top Mountain Rds in North Carolina. We don't want you getting lost or showing up at the wrong one.. Awkward.
GPS Coordinates: N 35 degrees, W 082 degrees
When: TBA
Contact : 828-628-7093 or Pirateslair@gmail.com
Nearby Motel: Ramada by Wyndham Asheville Southeast

Amber and I will be hosting this one-day event (our first since 2007) for former I-BMW members, posters, or lurkers. Guests are welcome. This will be held on our mountain property (Paradise Ridge Permaculture Campground) just a few miles east of Asheville and 5 miles off the Blue Ridge Parkway. If all goes as planned we'll have food @ noon, non-alcoholic drinks, campfires, outdoor toilets, scantily clad jugglers, annoying mimes, maybe even live music around 5pm. Keep in mind, we do NOT have electricity on site.

Note: This will NOT be a "rain or shine" event. If it's gonna be wet or rainy.. we will cancel. Check with us a week prior to the event to make sure we're still a go.

We don't care if you ride or drive. There will be plenty of parking although most of it will be in a grassy pasture. There are motels nearby if attendees want to overnight in the area, but you'll need to book in advance as this is near the peak leaf-peeping season. Limited on-site camping will be available. Bring your own intoxicants. Email me for EXACT DIRECTIONS.