Take me home, El Capitan!

"Gather 'round, lads.... Gather 'round"...
Burt Lancaster / The Crimson Pirate (1952)

Around every other month, when I deem you are worthy, we post our cheesy newsletter to inform the masses as to what's happening in the BMW world and of course... Pirates' Lair. How else are you going to find out?

Warning: While I do try to add a little humor in every newsletter, some of my language may offend the mild mannered, politically correct, or meek amongst us. If you are offended easily I suggest you stop reading here and look elsewhere for your written info-tainment.

FYI.. If you'd like to be notified when each new newsletter is posted, just email me with your request and I'll make that happen. Our email database is 100% secure. Stored in a lock box formerly owned by Al Gore. Never shared or sold to third parties. Never perused by the NSA.


The Latest Cheesy Pirates' Lair Newsletter: July / August 2021 Issue

Fellow esteemed and quasi-esteemed motorcyclists.... .. A famous (and slightly edited ) movie moment to start this issue...

Ilsa stops and looks into Rick's eyes.. Indecision is in her eyes. Victor stops to give them a moment .. He turns to look across the fog covered runway. The engines of the plane come to life.. It's time to board the plane for Lisbon.

Rick: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
Ilsa: But, Richard, no, I... I...
Rick: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?
Captain Renault: I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.
Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have the Cheesy Pirates Lair Newsletter. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night and it's a surprisingly good issue.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you......
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going to ride, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

Renault / Claude Rains .. Rick / Humphrey Bogart.. Ilsa / Ingrid Bergman.. / Casablanca 1942


News and Feltercarb From The Two-Wheeled World

Picture Of The Month! Furkajoch Mountain Pass, Austria.. (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our July/ August POTM was contributed by Ya Sen who lives in Istanbul, Turkey. He says of the photo.. "Furkajoch is a high mountain pass in the Austrian Alps in the Bundesland of Vorarlberg. It connects the valley of the Bregenzer Ach near Damüls with the Frutz valley near Laterns. The shot was taken around 14:00 (2pm).. 2600 meter (8500ft), 17 grad degrees (62 degrees). I usually carry my old Nikon D90, but I took this pic with my Samsung S9.. "

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots or send me a link if you've already uploaded them somewhere. It'll need to be at least 1024x768 in size or larger and preferably A. Of any late model BMW .. B. In focus... C. No GSs for God's sake.

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Sargent's New S1000RR / M1000RR Performance Seats

Sargent Seats just gave us the heads up on their new BMW seats for the the BMW S1000RR and exotic M1000RR. I gravitate toward their products because of their looks, lightness (compared to Corbin) and sport mindset. Some seat makers focus on the ultra plush with massive seats and various tufted and fluffed seat patterns. Not that there's anything wrong with them. Most of those are painfully ugly. Sargent seats are the ideal match for Ducatis, BMWs and other sport bikes. Sargent offers lots of options to customize your seats. Not just with seat cover types and welt colors, but also seat heights.

Pirates Lair was one of the first to report on Sargent's REVolution Seats that refits and customizes your own OE seat. That's a great option for riders who A. have thin wallets like me or B. aren't yet ready to fully commit to a new custom seat. You send your own seat in, they'll work with you to find out your exact needs, then they return the seat back to you refitted and customized in just a couple of days. BTW, Sargent also offers their integrated heating options on the RR. Their plug-n-play integrated heat is OEM-compatible with on-board controls.

Any time I buy a bike, one of the first things I plan on (after a radar detector).. is a Sargent Seat. My discerning ass loves them...

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Another Friend Takes the Long Ride.. RIP Chuck Manley

I just got word that a good friend of mine (and many of our readers,) Chuck Manley passed on April 13th, 2021. On that day, the world lost an all around great guy and the archetypical motorcyclist. I met Chuck years ago at one of the early I-BMW Blue Ridge Parkway Rallies and we'd been friends for almost 20 years. Chuck attended I-BMW events for as long as I can remember and I rode with him numerous times.

I spoke in depth with Chuck just weeks before he left us when I called to offer an invite to our upcoming I-BMW Reunion party in October. As we got off the phone, his last words were... "There's nothing that will keep us from the party. We'll see you there." Just 3 weeks later, he was gone. Another victim of cancer. I had no idea. In fact.. He never said a word during our long conversation. Not a fucking word.

I'm still dumbfounded. Aka "Chasman" to the I-BMW crowd, he was the quintessential motorcyclist. He was on the staff of BMWMOA for a decade working to improve the motorcycle community. He was one of the few riders I know of that had more miles on his resume than I. Every time you'd see him he'd have a smile on his face and a colorful bandana around his neck underneath that world-class mustache. He always had a funny story to tell and he told them with flair.

While I'd known him for years, I didn't know much about his personal life. I may have met his wife once or twice. Like most riding buddies, we'd usually just talk about the sport, bikes, past adventures, and our next destination. This is so sad. My condolences go out to his wife, Julie and family. Dammit.... He was one of the good guys.

Vaya con dios, my friend... You will be remembered..

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I-BMW Reunion.. Pirates Lair Is Throwing Another Party!

It's been 13 years since Amber and I threw a party. Our last was in 2007 at a park near Lake Lure just east of Asheville. We had around 80 riders show up in spite of some brutal heat. Pretty damn sure a good time was had by all. Here's a link to pictures of that event.. For the last year or so I've been missing the I-BMW events and the dozens of friends and quasi-friends I've met through the former website. Call me nostalgic. In January I decided I'd do something about it. A plan to get the gang together for one last blow out before we've shuffled off this mortal coil.

As Amber and I just recently turned our 6 acres of mountain property into a "boutique" campground (see below), we think it would be a perfect place to host an event. That being said, if you were a I-BMW member, poster, or even a lurker, mark your calendar for Sat October 16th, 2021. If all the planets align, I'll little swaray will start around noon and end when the cows come home or someone starts talking politics. Generally the leaves are in full color that time of year and the gravity is on the seasonal wane. The weather should be cool-ish for excellent riding with little chance of rain.

Our property has plenty of parking space for bikes, cars, trailers, etc. Like all past I-BMW events or the last two Pirates Lair parties, there will be no entry fees. No hoops to jump through. No waivers to sign. No oaths of fealty. We just want our friends to show up, eat some burgers, hang out for a few hours, then get the fuck out. Interested? Let us know so we can start making plans as to how much hamburger, hot dogs, and caviar we'll be needing. I should add.. this isn't a designated "motorcycle" rally. We don't care if you ride or drive.

I'll be posting updates in upcoming newsletters and at theRiderspace chat site..


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Paradise Ridge Campground: Right Off the Blue Ridge Parkway

Amber and I bought 6 acres of mountain property just east of Asheville, NC a dozen or so years ago. We chose this location, just 8 minutes from the Blue Ridge Parkway, as it's my favorite place to ride. We've slowly been making improvements to the property in preparation for inviting friends and family over and eventually building our retirement home on it.

A couple of years ago Amber had an idea to recoup some of our monthly expenses by allowing campers to pitch their tents on our beautiful plot of paradise. Asheville is a huge tourist destination. Wish I had thought of it!.. Anyway, this last fall we started taking reservations via the HipCamp.com website. So far we've had dozens of campers stay with us and we're getting rave reviews. Now that we've worked through the learning curve of discerning what campers need and/or want, we're ready to spread the word, allow booking direct, and offer invites to our quasi-esteemed newsletter readers. Keep in mind, this is a working farm so expect horses and free range chickens at times.

You can get most of the booking information and directions off the (admittedly lacking) Hipcamp website or call Amber direct at 828-707-7607 EST . We offer a few wooded camping spots plus a wide open grassy pasture for parking RVs, vans, campers, trailers, or buses. We are (of course) motorcycle friendly. We offer fire-wood for our fire pit, bottled water, a picnic table, a natural water shower, outhouse, and a covered gazebo with seasonal fireplace. Pets are welcome. No honey badgers.



What's New In the No-Spin Zone

1. Just a few days after Oregon Senate Bill 574 passed, legalizing motorcycle lane sharing in the state under certain circumstances, the state’s governor has shut the bill down. According to OPB News, Brown refused to sign the bill saying “I have several concerns with the bill as currently drafted, particularly related to public safety and noncompliance.” O well... Full details here...

2. The iconic Isle of Man TT races will not run again in 2021. But the Isle of Man government is already planning for the 2022 event. And there’s some good news for the TT’s future ...It appears that a live video coverage will become a reality for the next Isle of Man TT. The coverage will broadcast every qualifying session and every race over the two weeks of the TT. You’ll be able to watch them all on a dedicated digital channel accessible via a live pass similar to the pass you can purchase for MotoGP and WorldSBK.

3. As I reported in our last action packed May / June newsletter... MaxMoto.. aka Remus USA is no longer the designated importer of Remus Exhaust systems. I still haven't gotten the full story as to what happened..

4. 6/28: Just heard that a company called Turn4 Distribution is the new official importer of Remus exhausts... Yea.. I've never heard of them either, but I'm already talking with them about being a US vendor for them. Details to follow.

5. Here's something tasty for the BMW R12R50RS and R1250R... A solo seat cowling by made by the German company Diopa.com. Yes.. it's expensive at $375Euro (around $450US) but it really is attractive. In fact.. I wish I'd thought of it myself.. If you go though their pictures you'll see it serves as a storage compartment, too.. Pretty sure these come un-panted so you'd be in for more money to have to painted to match your bike.. As expensive proposition.

6. Check out the world's fastest electric motorcycle...The WMC250EV high-speed demonstrator is more than two years in the making and heralds a new chapter in the evolution of motorcycle technical development. It is the result of a determination to turn an inspired vision for vastly reducing aerodynamic drag into reality, having won support and recognition from all corners of Britain’s fertile motorsport engineering industry. The prototype motorcycle, which is capable of speeds exceeding 250mph, features three market-disruptive technologies including WMC’s ultra-low drag system called V-Air. My guess is.. this bike figures prominently in our 2-wheeled future.. Here's the full write up..


What's New at Pirates' Lair?

3. New Product Alert! Pirates Lair has been carrying SW Motech Tankbags for about a decade. Up until recently we sold their EVO bags exclusively.. Those have just been replaced by the all new "Pro Series" bags and we carry both the Pro City Bag version and the smaller Daypack Pro. We sell these as a kit with all quick-lock mounting hardware to make purchasing and installing easier. Just let us know what bike you have at time of order. Each comes with a rain cover.

4. New Product Alert! Need to lower your shift lever, but the oem adjustment screw simply isn't doing it for you? Check out the Pirates Lair Adjustable Shift Lever Rod Extension. This little device may be what you've been looking for. Developed and manufactured for Pirates Lair here in the USA, our adjustable shift lever rod extension drops your shift lever down as much as 1". To date, we've learned that our little device fits the BMW K1300S, K1300R, K1200R, K1200S, K1600GT, K1600GTL, Grand America, and Bagger. We're assuming it'll fit many other BMW's. We simply don't have access to other BMWs to find out. Install takes about 20 minutes. Adjustments will take some trial and error, but the difference is worth it. You're welcome.

3. As per the blurb above... it would appear that Pirates Lair may (or may not) soon be buying Remus exhausts from the new US distributor.. Turn 4 Distribution... The paperwork has been filled out.. Oaths have been taken. Pledges of fealty offered. We shall see. It's always a legal dance these days. Looking for a Remus for your bike? Email me and I can provide a quote and general delivery times.

Click Here To See More... If You Dare!

4.Wanna see something pretty?... Check out the all new Akrapovic Black Titanium Slip-On Exhaust System for the K16 Bagger / Grand America. It was developed for riders who want to make a change to the bike's look and sound with minimum modification. Ride in style with the Akrapovič Black Ti Slip-On exhaust system for the world's top-of-the-line BMW touring motorcycle. You will love its unique design, which is outstandingly executed using top-quality titanium canisters and carbon fiber outlet caps. Like every aftermarket exhaust available for the K1600 series, your O2 sensors remains plugged into your factory header. How does it sound? Fucking awesome.

5. Need brake pads for your BMW S1000RR or S1000R? Checked the prices on them lately?..Geezus H! They're double what almost every other bike's cost. I recently asked my Carbone Lorraine rep why the sky-high pricing and was told that each caliper on these bikes has (4) pads rather than the standard 2. WTF?!.. I've never heard of such a thing, but he confirmed.. Cost to do both front calipers is $182.90 delivered and we have them here... What's in your wallet?

Click Here To See More... If You Dare!

I-BMW / Theriderspace.com Rally Event News : 2021
NOTE: Pirates Lair is not an "official" sponsor of any of the following posted events. Event participation is the sole responsibility of the attendee. Motorcycle riding is potentially dangerous and can result in personal injury or death or lots of velocity awards.. You and you alone are responsible for your own safety. Ride within your own ability. It's called.. "personal responsibility."

Kentucky Hill Country Rally: August 12-14, 2021

Location: Slade, Ky
Where:
The Lil Abner Motel & Cottages
When: Thurs thru Sat, August 12th thru 14th
Contact: (606)663-5384

This rally was arranged by former I-BMW members who now hang out at Ttheriderspace.com. The 2021 version of the Kentucky Hill Country Rally will be held August 12, 13, and 14 of 2021 at The Lil Abner Motel & Cottages in Slade KY. Lil Abner is located between the Red River Gorge and Natural Bridge State Parks. If you have any thoughts or desire to attend this function my advice is to book a room NOW. This motel is a prime point for hikers in both parks. It is also a big draw for reunions and weddings. The rooms go quickly and several months in advance. You have been warned.

Agenda: Meet. Ride. Talk, Eat. Ride. Talk. - Here's a link to the discussion at TheRidersPace You can find the latest information there.


I-BMW Reunion.. Pirates Lair Is Throwing Another Party! Oct 16th, 2021

Where: 122 Flat Top Mountain Rd, Fairview, NC 28730
When: Sat October 16th- Noon-Until....
Contact : 828-628-7093 or Pirate@acelink.net
Nearby Motel: Ramada by Wyndham Asheville Southeast

Been missing the old gang of deplorables? Me, too. Time for one last party. No stinkin' Chinese virus is gonna stop this event although bad weather might. Amber and I will be hosting this one-day event (our first since 2007) for former I-BMW members, posters, or lurkers. Guests are welcome. This will be held on our mountain property (Paradise Ridge Campground) just a few miles east of Asheville and 5 miles off the Blue Ridge Parkway.
If all goes as planned we'll have food, drinks, campfires, outdoor toilets, scantily clad jugglers, maybe even live music.

We don't care if you ride or drive. There will be plenty of parking although some of it may be in a grassy pasture. There are motels nearby if attendees want to overnight in the area. Limited on-site camping will be available. Bring your own intoxicants. More details to come. Check with us a week prior to the event to make sure we're still a go. These are crazy times, doncha know.


MISCELLANEOUS / HOW-TO / ARCHIVES

How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

We have no new contributions this month.

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.

Pirates Lair Sacred Archives

We get a lot of requests for specific articles and/or reviews I've written in the past. Rather than fry my aging brain trying to remember where they are on our multi-hundred page website, I have decided to list the "worthy" ones here. Most of the links are to past newsletters.. Some are to full web articles. Remember, I'm no expert on anything except perhaps rolling joints, pissing people off on Facebook, and cunnilingus so the opinions within the archives are only my own. Saavy?

BMW How-To Section

Our last contribution was
.. How to replace the spark plugs on a Bmw k1300s. It's apparently easier than you think.

Click For Larger Image.. If You Want a Chub..

Pirates Lair Cheesy Newsletters .. Past Issues